Rather be fat and happy than dieting and miserable....

[ruthmollymummy]

that says it all, I have 4 stone to loose to be at the heaviest end of healthy but food is a really emotional thing for me. I really would rather be fat and be able to get pleasure from eating whatever and whenever I want than diet. I don't want to spend the rest of my life counting calories and "being careful".

so my question is does anyone have any good ways to change my thinking? do i need a therapist rather than a diet!!?? is it just me that thinks this way?

I have the same mind set. Ive decided to eat the same and move more

Hmm - I think you need to change your relationship with food, rather than go on a diet. From my own experience, I have found that I can only lose weight when I am in the right frame of mind.

I think a therapist would help you with this. TBH, dieting is actually quite easy when you are in the right mindset (and conversely hellishly difficult when you are not).

I also think a therapist or similar would look at some of the underlying issues relating to body image (that is just a factual statement, we all have our views of how we look, not a judgmental one).

Good luck.

You need to learn to get your jollies from something else, basically (preferably not drugs or alcohol )

Lots of folk say smoking relaxes/chills them out when stressed. It's really not good for them to continue to do so on that basis though. Same with food. I know whereof I speak.

You could become a gym-junkie instead!

I have a tendency to feel the same way. I love food. And after my 3rd child I piled on so much weight that there was no way eventually that I could say I was fat and happy. Quite the contrary in fact. And I was eating way too much and worrying about it.

My way round was to follow a low-carb diet for a while to get down to a good weight for me - as starchy sugary foods are my downfall cutting them out made it easy to lose weight. To maintain I eat normally though I try to keep the quantities down, exercise loads (something I really enjoy) and only resort to any sort of diet when my eating habits become bad again and I start to put on weight. I've managed to stay more or less the same for 3 yrs now.

Of course if you are truly happy, I wouldn't worry. No-one says you have to be slim as long as you are healthy.

I would much rather have around an overweight friend that loves herself as she is, than a miserable full time moaner who is always compalining about last diet being broken (again) and getting a trill about the last-minute-you-have-to-try-it-diet on which Cameron Diaz lost 10 oz after living on carrots for a year.

I'm in a "worse" position than you ie more weight to lose and struggle with the same issue - ie I equate being able to eat what I like = happier, which it isn't.

I have decided that I would rather be thinner and happy! You don;t need to count calories to lose weight or not eat the things you like.

I think that taking one thing at a time may help to make weight loss more bearable. I realised that just cutting chocolates out of my daily snacks made a huge difference, after that I dumped the crisps and finally I started to eat salads at work to counteract my the tendency to serve myself a midnight lunch (blush).

sometimes adding things helps. I added two pieces of fruit a day to breakfast - strangely it has helped me focus on losing weight as being a good thing and not something miserable - no idea why.

I started to think about being healthy and realised that I actually had more energy when I ate better. Stuffing myself with biscuits and cakes made me sluggish and left me with little enthusiasm to get up and out of the house and just do something.

I think VVV has it right you have to try and find something else to make you happy.

I do yoga at home and find it is brilliant - it make me feel good about my body and it really gives me a buzz. I stil have 4 stone to loose but I am getting their slowly and already feel so much better.

I think you can only loose weight when you reach a certain point - for me it was seeing a photo of me in an outfit I "thought" looked good.

well i am much much happier and fitter since losing wieght about the same amount as you 4st 7

and not miserable while i was doing it

just very committed and goal orientated but i went for the healthy lifestyle way rather than dieting

i could never have said i was happy at the weight and fitness level i was before i was very unhappy

Kewcumber i love your idea of adding things! i think its such a genuis way to get me started, i'm going to eat more by adding a banana to my weetabix and an apple to lunch time. I also do agree that excerise is so important. I'll admit something really shameful to you all and say i have the dirty dancing workout dvd. only watched it once and loved it - i'm going to use this thread to remind myself to be good and perhaps work out to the fun dvd. i'll be back tomorrow afternoon to let you know i've eaten fruit and done the dvd and if one person could say well done it would be much appreciated!!

Have you read a book called Dietbusters or any of the Paul McKenna books. He's dead against dieting and I agree with him. I too am 4 stone overwewight but even the thought of dieting sends me onto overload binge mode. Try to eat when you're hungry and cut down on one food at a time. I've started to cut down on coffees and crisps and eat a little less in the evening. When I was dieting I was permamantly putin on weight 15 and a half stone at my biggest. Now I don't diet I' m 13 and a half stone a size 16 (just) and I, m much happier, Try Paul Mckenna