Devastated

[Sprinkles211]

I've been dieting sensibly (calorie counting) since jan 21 I'm now 7 stone down, I look horrendous I'm 38 years old and weigh what I did 20 years ago I've worked so bloody hard with plenty of hiccups on the way I'm still overweight bmi sitting at 28.4 so to be healthy another stone and a half to go and I look like a melted snowman, my arms, my stomach and my thighs are that of a 90 year old woman, my face has aged 20 years I honestly don't know what to do I could never afford surgery I'm a carer to my 3 children 2 with profound sen so will never leave home, this weightloss was my way of self care trying to feel better about myself, I can't even look in the mirror.

I would go to the GP to see whether the NHS would help with this.

Many congratulations on your achievement OP. It’s a significant loss.

I'm only 2 stones down and 30 yrs old but I can see the skin to sag a bit and I'm actually worried. Hope you can get the surgery ! How much does it cost?

I haven't lost as much weight as you but I have loose skin and it definitely has settled. It was quite alarming initially, but with time it is nowhere near as bad as it first appeared.
I will never look like a supermodel, but I have come to terms with it!

Thank you, unfortunately surgery will never be an option, even if fully funded I couldn't have the recovery time needed due to my children's care needs. I've never been confident within my body as always overweight, the weight went on very slowly over I years as I used sugar to deal with lack of sleep. I've bought compression garments to try and help the skin settle but I'm worried as I've done it slowly this is as good as it's going to get. I'm so cross about it, the body standards society holds to women compared to men is sickening I just wanted to be able to wear a pretty dress and be proud of myself, sorry I really feel like I'm having a teenage strop especially compared to the things my children live with I feel a little selfish I just really wanted to feel like I'd achieved something

You have achieved something! In fact, you've achieved a hell of a lot. A seven stone weight loss is a massive achievement - well done!

Okay, you may not look how you wanted to without your clothes on, but you've done so much to improve your health and that will have a positive knock on effect on your children as you'll have more energy and you'll be more agile.

Please focus on your achievement, and rather than focusing on your naked body, focus on how great you feel now compared to when you were lugging the equivalent of another person around with you (in weight).

Well done! You should feel so proud of your achievement! I’m sorry you feel bad about the way you look now, but I’m sure you’re much healthier for having lost the weight. 7 stone is a huge amount to lose! Maybe you wouldn’t be able to take the time away from your kids to recover from surgery, but if you can, I second going to the gp and seeing if you can have it on the nhs.

Do you exercise? I don't know if it would help but I wonder if you added some muscle if it would look better or at least help with confidence.

I took up weight training a few years ago and it has made me feel so much better in my body. Not that I look amazing but it changed my focus quite a lot to what my body can do.

I go to the gym but there is a lot of great free content available online now eg Caroline Girvan. You can just use tins of beans or bottles of water as weights to start with and if you find you like it Decathlon has lots of affordable exercise kit.

Building muscle will definitely help. It will help lower body fat and decrease loose skin by filling in space where the fat used to be with lean tissue.

There's a YouTuber called ObesetoBeast who talks a lot about loose skin and how to deal with it.

Are you including any weight training? Even if it’s using your body weight or dumbbells at home?

If it’s making you so unhappy. I would, if possible, pull out all the stops. Build muscle if not. Take collagen and if you diet doesn’t contain animal protein take some amino acids. Plus keep up with compression. Body brushing and rubbing moisturising into your whole body every day. There’s probably more. And they won’t fix the issue entirely but they may help.

But (and I know it’s easier said than done) what you have achieved this year is incredible. Just for a second forget about looks and think of you have achieved from a health point of view. It’s incredible. You have improved your health so much. It’s not easy and it will benefit you so much.

What you have achieved is amazing!

Have you seen those support pants that go up to your bra strap and the support body suits? They are all over my Facebook feed. There is a woman in one of the ads who is your exact position with huge amounts of excess skin and then looks fantastic with the body suit on as it smooths it all out. It's not a miracle fix but it will help.

Skin will take time to heal. There was a lady on here a couple of months ago that posted photos of her stomach straight after losing 5 stone then a year later and the difference was amazing.

Treat your skin kindly. Stay hydrated, eat well, good vitamin supplement, moisturise regularly.

Then just try not to think about it and get on with living your life. Don't think about the mirror, think about everything you've just gained. Think of all the times you just leap up off the sofa with no thought, about nipping upstairs and not being out of breath. About being able to buy clothes from the regular section and not struggling to find plus plus sizes. Being fit and healthy for your dc.

Fuck the mirror. Your life has improved so much and that's the win op.

You stand a much better chance of being there for your children and maybe grandchildren. Well done.