I need to but I’m struggling.

[All3DogsandMe]

I’m 47, size 18 and uncomfortably fat.
I’m quite fit and strong, but I ache horribly, know I have gallstones and raised cholesterol. I run with a lovely, slow, supportive running club and have started to lift weights in a beginners class.
My husband has a very life limiting disease, I have two teen boys and I’m a SENCO in a big mainstream secondary school. My job is stressful. Every day I see children struggling and I have very little resource to help them. I’m seeing a therapist and I’m working on myself.
I eat and eat because I’m exhausted. It comforts me too.
I know I have to change my eating habits but I find food so lovely and I just need the energy.
Please tell me how you started. How did you lose weight when everything in your life pushed you towards food and eating? I feel utterly ashamed of myself.

Start by ditching sugar in all its forms, @All3DogsandMe . It's the key to healthy eating, which in turn is the key to weight loss. Have a look at this:

i am sorry that I can’t offer the weight loss help, am struggling with that myself but wanted to reach out anyway. I am a secondary SENCO so fully get the stress of the job. I had my gallbladder removed in April this year so can fully sympathise with the pain there too. If you are on the list to get it removed it is totally worth it! I am now looking into weight loss injections as I have tried so many diets and weight loss plans over the years. Keep looking after yourself and remember you are making a difference to the lives of so many every day (even if we don’t see or feel it at times). Take care x

Read Why We Eat (Too Much) by Andrew Jenkinson. It's really fascinating and I think helpful for those who feel guilt and shame about it.

I have lost almost 2 stone since last October. I'm 54, I haven't been this slim for nearly 20 years. I didn't calorie count, but virtually cut out all the crap like biscuits, cake, alcohol, pizza, ice cream etc and limited carbs and saturated fat. I still eat 3 meals a day and an afternoon snack, I don't feel hungry and actually enjoy my food more.

I now see myself as someone who eats differently and believe this is an informed choice. I actually feel more energetic and realise I no longer need food to give me a boost of energy, even though I have a full-time job. It's probably nowhere near as stressful as yours, though, having been a secondary school teacher myself, I feel your pain.

I don't think I eat less, I just eat slightly different things with the unhealthy bits ommited. Now I tell myself I enjoy being thin more than I enjoyed 5 minutes of eating a piece of cake, and this keeps me motivated. I have decided to maintain eating like this for life and believe I will stick to it.

@All3DogsandMe I can wholly empathise with how you're feeling. Obesity is one issue that you can't hide, and so many people seem to think it's some kind of personal failure. When in actuality for many people it's an understandable response to a high stress life in an obesegenic environment. It is very very easy to overeat, doesn't even need to be by a lot, in a society where high calorie food is available everywhere all the time. For people with a tendency to crave those kinds of foods it can be incredibly difficult to step back and not take that route. Especially when you are busy managing lots of other people's stressful lives (children, work, family).

I am going to mention weight loss injections. I think it's important that people realise that they are an option (if you qualify, BMI over 30) and that they are successful at addressing the issue. Yes, there are potential side effects, as with all medication. But for many people, the possible risks are outweighed by the benefits. Certainly for me, one of the most valuable changes I've experienced is the realisation that it's a physical issue with the way my body was working. Not a personal failing. Nothing else has changed in my personal circumstances yet now I don't reach for food in the way I did before.

Of course there's the worry about what will happen when it's time to maintain a lower weight without the assistance of the injections. That's the case with any weight loss approach, and certainly it's something that everyone will constantly remind us of! I would rather be facing that challenge at a healthy weight than continue on being morbidly obese.

Anyway, if you feel that approaches like one meal a day, or intermittent fasting are something you'd want to try then there's a lot of info about them available. Lots of people are enthusiastic about the Fast 800 approach and I think it's got some sensible science behind it. The running club also sounds like a great idea, a supportive environment is a really positive thing. I wish the best for anyone like you and me that have had lifelong struggles with their weight.

Ahh lovely, you sound so drained and no wonder. If you already have gallstones please be very careful if you go down the low carb route - it can exacerbate them, the pain of mine was far, far worse than childbirth!
Nowadays, I’m finding that it works if I’m just superstrict with no snacking at all, as it allows me wiggle room to enjoy the meals I want, enjoy family meals, enjoy date night. Like every new habit the first few days were hard but I made tasty meals and focused on them. I barely register the existence of crisps/chocolate/biscuits now which I could never ever have imagined. Have more meals but smaller if that helps.

Thank you so, so much to you all. I feel quite overwhelmed with your kindness and that you have taken the time to answer me. Thank you. 💚
it just helps to know it’s not just me out there. There are choices ahead x

I’d add, keep sugar to a minimum! I’m not brilliant at this but not terrible either. Dark chocolate and plenty of fruit and Greek yogurt!

This is an excellent video explaining how all sweetened foods - including those containing ARTIFICIAL sweeteners - trigger cravings for more sweet foods and refined carbs.