What is your weight-loss motivation? Can you help me?

[Pipperleen]

Hi,

I am starting a thread out of desperation really. I am 6 months postpartum and someone I don’t know asked me when my next baby is due. I was fat before children so for someone to think I am also pregnant again on top of the fat I was already carrying….things are bad.

I’m about 18 stone I think and gaining. My baby has been challenging - not a good sleeper, hates the pram and car and carrier. I have been surviving on sugar, fat and caffeine.

I’ve done slimming world in the past a few times and have been successful to an extent. I didn’t have the willpower to make it a lifestyle, as they say, after about 6 months.

My weight and appearance regularly get me down - I know I have nothing nice to wear and everything makes me look huge or like a big frump, or both. But by the end of the day, when the children are in bed and I finally have some time to perhaps do some batch cooking or planning, I am absolutely done in and end up just sitting down for a couple of hours, having a huge dinner that my husband has cooked for us, and then going to bed.

I really don’t know what to do next. I really do care about this - but almost not enough to get over the hill and actually do something serious about it. Writing this all down is making me well up. It consumes a lot of my thoughts.

I am going back to work in a couple of months and nothing really fits me. I am dreading having to go online - because of course I can’t get any clothes in normal shops really - and buying myself some sack dresses in a size 24.

So what is your motivation? Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you for reading - I am grateful for any nuggets of wisdom you might have.

Hopeful bump

Hi @Pipperleen I can totally empathise with how you feel, it's a feeling I know very well. I think being 6 months post partum is still right in the trenches with sleep deprivation and general exhaustion from the demands of a small baby. So maybe just small steps at the moment, rather than putting pressure on yourself to make big changes.

Could you look at asking your husband not to cook big meals in the evening, or discuss with him that you only want a small portion of whatever he cooks? Could you get some healthy non-UPF frozen ready meals you could have when you're too tired to cook? Small changes that you can turn into habits eventually.

Then, there are schemes like Noom, Second Nature if Slimming World or similar isn't appealing. Also, you could look into the recent weight loss injections or tablets that you can get via online private prescription.

I have been losing weight since the start of July, I realised that all my baggy fitting size 22 clothes were getting too tight and I was horrified enough to weigh myself for the first time in ages. Well, I'd made it up to my highest ever weight of just about 22 stone, and a BMI of 50 which made me feel just beside myself with horror. I felt awful physically too, joint pain, unable to walk far without becoming breathless, and so on. I realised I couldn't keep getting bigger and that I urgently needed to lose weight for my health and for my family.

@Pipperleen Try not to be too hard on yourself you have a lot on your plate (emptionally). I wonder if your husband might be able to help a lot.

I think you have everything you need to do this. Batch cooking is the way to go and whilst its hard think of being able to just pop something in the oven four out of five days a week. What treat could replace the sugar and fat? Hummus and carrot sticks grapes fresh pineapple.

My partner has been overweight for a long time. She has had a much younger relative die suddenly from a heart attack and she is trying with slimming world to make some progress.

I personally think slimming world is quite expensive but the principles which you can get by buying the books online seem to be working. I try and help by cooking the right stuff. We try and have fruit salad every morning then a small cooked breakfast eggs and beans or tomatoes one low fat sausage. that fills us up till lunch. Lunch is a salad or a soup. Maybe with tuna or other tinned fish. Supper is ordinary meal but lots of veg so shepherds pie with carrots peas and cabbage. The pie is about a 1/4 pf the plate. We also eat a lot of fish just baked fried in a tiny bit of oil or grilled.

Cheese was a big weakness so we try not to have much in the house. She also uses low fat spread etc. We eat really well but the weight is coming off us both slowly. We drink lots of water and try to eat slowly so we taste and enjoy the food.

Hope this helps.

@SilenceInside @Letsbe
thank you, both of you - I appreciate you sharing your own experiences.

Give yourself a break, you have a lot on! Negative self talk exacerbates in any case.

For me, various joint problems, and the desire to live more quality healthy years and not sick and miserable ones. I am older though. It gets a lot harder to shift in menopause/older years.

@Summerhillsquare thank you. I think I need to really concentrate on looking to the future. I don’t have joint and other health issues now but I absolutely will if I carry on like this - because it’s not happening now I almost don’t feel compelled to do anything about it. Think I need to imagine what life would be like if something seriously went wrong and try and move away from that.

Mounjaro has been a game changer for me, expensive but creates sooo much headspace and energy for other more positive habits to build.

Being a mum/parent in general is hard let alone only 6 months post partum. Ive been a PT and managed gyms/Spa's for 18 years now and am currently just starting up my own business coaching people online with great nutritional and exercise habits. i actually have a support group starting on Monday 30th September, these groups last for 10 days then you have 4 days where you can let your hair down a little but still with support and then another 10 day stint occurs, these are then ongoing. For anyone with any goals relating to the following - weight loss, weight gain or just to feel healthier, please just pop me a message and i'd love to have a chat.

@Pipperleen Also imagine what life would be like if you lost a bit - all the extra things you would find easier to do.

My DH does the cooking and insists on serving and provided massive portions. I've switched to a bowl instead of a plate, but I still have to remind him.
The most successful thing for me was cutting 500 calories a day out of my diet. I had long argued for smaller portions of carbs but he couldn't do it so I opted to cut them out altogether.
I lost 4 stone without any problem with those two strategies.

Add in rather than take out.

Try to have 5 fruit or veg a day, protein with every meal, drink lots of water.

Plan yourself a lovely little treat for each evening and enjoy, maybe a nice platter of strawberries and a few chocolate fingers! Random I know but you get the chocolate and the crunch fix!

Calorie counting is good.

Breakfast - fruit and yoghurt
Snack - rice cake
Lunch - wrap, bagel, omelette, salad
Snack - something like veg sticks and hummus
Tea - something balanced with veg and protein.
Evening - your treat snack with a hot drink.

You've not long had a baby so much be tired and tiredness makes it so hard!

Mentally you have to really want it but just a few tweaks will help. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

@Pipperleen - the fact that you are even able to articulate yourself and how you feel at 6months pp is more than I could ever do, so know that you are doing amazing. You are still very much in the thick of it all, so don't be so hard on yourself.

Much like everyone else has said, I'd say small changes in the right direction are easier to manage when you have alot going on. Up your water intake and substitute a snack at a time.

My motivations are quite shallow at the moment. I want to look better and not always be the 'fat' friend. But long term I know that I want to keep up with the kids, want them to be confident when i show up somewhere with them and eventually, I want to be a very hands on active grandparent that can pick push my future grandkids on the swings. When I see active healthy grandparents - it makes me wonder what they did in their more youthful days - I want my future self to be grateful of the steps that I am taking now.

Thank you for all of your positive comments and constructive suggestions. I really appreciate them.
Made some soup today whilst making a batch of purées for the little one. Baby steps.

Absolutely baby steps, one little change at a time. Well done. It's taken me many years to get in the right headspace.

Hi try weight watchers. It's simple to follow, based on a point system. There are zero point foods such as veg, salad, fruit, chicken breast, salmon, eggs etc. The points are used to control what you put with your zero point food. The app is very good to track your points and score food. I fill up on zero point food. Once you get the hang of it, weight comes off. It becomes a way of life. Give it a go. Best of luck

@allinstar1 I have taken your advice and am 6 days in. Thanks for the recommendation 🙏

Fantastic well done! WW has worked for me. Be patient with it but slowly you'll find you will loose.

I mean "lose"