My daughter is gaining weight

[Dadof1979]

Hello
I know this is a moms page, but hey as a dad I want your advice.
My Daughter is 11 about 145cm tall and weighs 54kg.
She is really upset about her weight and want to slim down.
She is swimming for 2 hours and 45 minutes each week plus bike riding to school.
We don't live on a very unhealthy diet nothing super healthy and not very unhealthy either.
She dose have a sweet tooth but all kids have this.
She doesn't eat loads of unhealthy food.
The last month she has gone from 52kg to 55kg.
I simply do not understand what is going on.
She does good exercise.
I hope you moms could help
Best
Rasmus

Keep a food diary for a week of everything drinks snacks foods log on a health app
Then go to gp with that info or practice nurse for diet advice and reassurance
As she has expressed views is fine to involve her and take her
Practice nurse can review her food diary and make suggestions
You need that food diary first

Your child is very overweight. She was very overweight at 51kg as well.

What does a not very healthy, not very unhealthy diet look like? You can't bike or swim away from a bad diet.

I totally agree with @cestlavielife
I would also keep a food diary just to see what she’s eating each day and then speak to the gp/ nurse for advice as they will be able to give the most accurate advice for her.

I would also focus on her mental health. If she’s getting upset then it’s impacting her self esteem.

I think you would need to be more specific and honest about her diet, and the portion sizes. not too healthy or unhealthy is very vague. I agree with a food diary it might help

Given her age, I’m assuming she spends time out with friends. Does she have pocket money? She may be eating more out of the house than you are aware of. My same age DS is often out with his mates and they pool their money and eat the most calorie laden food they can get their mitts on. Luckily he is not overweight (yet), but it is very easy to happen.
she is also on holidays so no cycling. That is also not enough exercise at that age-sorry

I would guess portion size is the issue from what you have said. I would research what her portion size should be and compare it to what you are cooking for her.

Well - I'd look at diet - make sure there is plenty of protein to fill her up but what happened for DD2 was different to DD1 and she put on loads of trunk weight in Y5 and got upset about it -as people do comment.

So I started to worry made sure diet was very healthy and lots of exercise - then almost over night she shot up about a foot only gone one or two inches since then - then people nodded and said puberty her period's started - well her period was same as DD1 not till 12 but she's been very slim and very tall ever since.

She needs to be busy as that will keep her fit and keep her mind off food. Lots of fresh air and exercise.

Don't have unhealthy snacks in the house and decrease her portions. Fill her up on protein and vegetables with fruit as snacks. Make sure she stays hydrated.

Also do look at drinks - some can be very calorific - though that wasn't an issue for DD2 as it was mainly water she was drinking.

Is she Y6 or Y7? For context, my 12 yo is 161cm and 48kg - tall and slim but not skinny. We eat healthily at home and she (and I) do lots of exercise but since start of y7 with more freedom (bus to school and back on own) her junk intake went up enormously! She is getting better again (lots of talking about sugar being bad for teeth and healthy choices for strong bodies), but the sudden freedom to just go buy sweets out of the home kicked in and we've seen it with all our friends kids as they started secondary! Maybe that's happening here? Or puberty

If the adults in the house are also overweight then portion sizes are likely too big.
Are you or her mother overweight?
If so, then the daily family shopping, cooking and eating habits are pushing everyone's weights up.

I would start with looking at the diet of the whole family, it’s likely that she didn’t put on weight in a vacuum so there will be portion sizes and what the whole family eats daily at play. I agree the food diary is a good idea.

Do you live somewhere in Scandinavia? Your name suggests so. If so, do you do lördagsgodis? We have strict rationing of sweets in our house so it’s Saturday treats and then nothing for the rest of the week.

Hi All
Thank you so much for replying I am so grateful.
What I have taken from everyones comments.
A) Food diary
B) Portion Size
C) Look at feeding lean protein and Vedg
D) look at the whole FAMILY diet
E) Snacks.

To answer your questions, she is 11 and starting secondary school in September, she would be able to buy food at school for lunch.
I don't give her pocket money yet, as she get what she needs at home and I don't let her go to town with her friends.
Our diet is deferent every day, but all home cooking.
One day it could be curry, second day spaghetti bolonaise, third stew with mash, home made pizza, chicken and couscous.
Breakfast is either Toast, yogurt and cereal, or lean sausages with tomato and peppers.
Thank you all for your answers.

What are her portion sizes? Is she eating as much as you for example?

Sorry no, this isn't the role of a practice nurse - you'd need a dietician. generally for kids that age you're looking for them not to gain weight as they grow, rather than to lose it. I would advise against getting weighed at the GP (or at all), keep a food diary by all means but don't let her see it and just gradually make changes at home.

My dd put a lot of weight on in Y6, despite nothing changing diet/exercise wise. It was puberty.

She then started her periods, grew a LOT (she's the same height as me, and she's 12), and developed. She's the same weight she was in Y6 but she's a totally different shape, and is slim.

Her school skirt from last September is too short, which is to be expected, but it's also far too big around the waist.

She has always gone out, then gone up. From being tiny she'd gain weight and look chubby, and then grow and be thin again. This was the same but more so with the hormonal and physical changes.

Did you mean to type ‘ not to gain weight as they grow?’ Surely that’s exactly what should be happening. An 11 year old is unlikely to weigh the same as a 16 year old. Girls need to lay down a certain amount of fat in order to prepare for puberty and she will likely grow in height over the next few years. 3 meals and a couple of snacks a day is usual for this age. Sounds like you cook healthy dinners. I have no idea what the average weight for age and height is for your daughter but you can find this out on nhs bmi calculator. There is one especially for under 18’s.

www.nhs.uk/healthier-families/childrens-weight/

It's important to get this right, so that she doesn't develop body issues or worse.

I was just about to say this. Do you think it could be puberty? I read somewhere that girls need to have fat stores to enable puberty to happen.

Please don’t take her to a dietician. My mum did this to me at 11, and it’s taken until my 40’s to get out of the dieting cycle and to undo the damage that was caused.

I’ve finally healed myself in terms of my body image and relationship with food.

I know you need to address this, but try and do it as a family without the focus being on her.

Also why are you weighing her every month? Is it her that’s doing this? Maybe hide the scales and just tweak the food if you really need to but very probably she will grow and you can monitor.

yes, if a child is genuinely overweight then the idea is that as they grow in height, the weight stays the same or grows at a lesser rate than the height, rather than them actually losing weight.

Entirely agree.

OP

stop weighing her

It's the sweet tooth. Plus all the hidden sugars in everyday food. You need to ditch the sweets for the whole family and stick to it. Generally speaking overweight children grow into overweight adults.

You need to cut out sugar
Reduce the fat in her meals
Don't buy sweets or biscuits.

Keep a diary she must be eating the wrong stuff