Fat & Miserable

[Col28]

Hi I'm not sure if I'm too old to be turning to you girls for advice as I'm 70 now. I retired last May from NHS. I'm so miserable with my weight. I'm 21 stone, have Osteoarthritis in both knees knees so exercise is difficult plus I my portion control is no good. I have Divaticulitus so have to be careful what I eat. Nothing works for me, I live alone so everything is potatoe based & quick. I just need help & guidance. My GP has offered Gastric sleeve surgery but I'm scared at my age to face such invasive surgery, plus its a difficult recovery & includes hair loss.
Being so big means I can't go on trips with grandchildren & honestly I'm miserable.
Any advice would be so grateful recieved.
Thank you ladies.

It is not too late at all, and I don’t blame you for not being sure what to do. I think you need to weigh up your quality of life now, vs possible (but not guaranteed) issues if you did choose an intervention like your doctor is offering. Losing some hair might be worth being back to being active with your family.
how is walking for you? Do you get out much?

potatoes on their own are not bad - if you are adding butter and cheese to them, you could cut this down. You could swap out some of the more high calorie foods for lower calorie ones like very light cream cheese, have more veggies (frozen or microwave ones?). Perhaps you could do with help doing your shopping

ask your doctor to speak to a dietician. They might be able to work with you to get a better balanced diet

it’s hard moving away from the comfort of food but the benefits really are worth it. Coming here and posting is a big step - you clearly do want change so you can use this as your motivation.

even little swaps and small changes can all add up so do not feel disheartened

My biggest advice would be to try Keto or at
least lo carb….It’s the quickest way to lose weight without exercise and honestly I am 50 and lost 5 stone last year, feel brand new and all aches and pains are gone.

you don’t need any of that gastric band shit!

This. Fasting and low carb is a life changer.

Anything carb turns to sugar which is stored as fat.

High meat and fat diet with low carb vegetables (that grow above ground apart from peas) with an olive oil and ACV dressing will have you shedding it in no time, especailly if you throw in some fasting days.

If you cut out any food groups, such as carbs you will lose weight as you're cutting your calories significantly. The only way to lose weight is to reduce your calories. Cutting out any food group is not sustainable . Potatoes, pasta and rice and quite calorific so if you can limit the amount you eat, weigh them etc then that's a starting point. What is your movement like? Aim to up your steps 10k a day is optimal for weight loss. It doesn't have to be out for walks, you can step around the house or even watching telly. You don't need a treadmill. Good luck

This is such a lovely, positive and encouraging post 👏👏👏

Agree with all of it, it’s never too late, plus I suggest making changes to how you feel about yourself now at your current weight op as you need to be in a good head space for sustained weight loss.

So maybe get a haircut and a manicure and pedicure. Buy yourself two inexpensive outfits in the sale that you feel nice in? Then you are starting out with a positive frame of mind. Believe me I was sceptical about this advice and found it rather patronising but it really does help. It was explained to me that you can’t hate yourself to weight loss! It’s about enjoying life now and not “when I am this size I will start living properly”. You deserve happiness now and being good to yourself through food is part of that.

I would definitely seek guidance from your gp about help from a dietician about your diverticulitis and maybe ask for advice about exercise classes for people with restricted mobility? You have put so much in to the NHS working, it’s your turn to seek a little help now.

The benefits of living alone is that you can be single minded about your strategy.

Maybe create a routine for yourself like meal planning on a Wednesday. Food shopping Thursday. Batch cooking Friday?

And a few rules like only eating natural unprocessed foods, such as meat, fish, vegetables and fruit and tea and coffee. No alccohol. Maybe some yoghurt and a little cheese? No sugar, biscuits, cake etc, except once on a Saturday night? Make sure you have enough protein at each meal though.

And decide how often you eat? Some people are happy with once a day. Some suit three small meals a day and two healthy snacks in between to keep their blood sugar stable. The dietician will help you with that.

Think about this as a complete lifestyle change and not a diet as such. You may well find that your diverticulitis and knee pain improve as you make progress. Starting is the hardest bit. Good luck!

I'm so moved by all these helpful messages, I feel inspired just reading them all. I think planning my days is a fab idea as is batch cooking. I do try to get put each day, but not for long as my Osteoarthritis is incredibly painful I've recently had Steriod Injection in both knees which has helped but at some point a new knee is likely. But, possibly a 5 stone weight loss will prevent needing knee surgery. I'm petrified of Gastric sleeve surgery, I don't want to have to live with Dumping Syndrome as my friend has since her surgery & now she's nervous to leave the house & she's only 46. I'm going to watch my portion size & try batch cooking spaghetti bog type meals. I'm so grateful to you all, I was honestly tearful reading the replies to my cry for help. God bless you all. xxx

Hi OP, I don't have any experience of how you must be feeling, but I have read a lot of the weight loss injection boards - are those a possible alternative to gastric band surgery for you?

I hope you feel more positive and can do what is right for you soon.

I second the person who suggested the health podcasts.

I listen to Rangan Chatterjee 'feel better live more' and The Food Doctor. Plus lots of the menopause ones incl. Louise Newson.

I steer clear of Zoe Podcast as I find the person who narrates it, very patronising. However I know people really rate that one so might be good for you!

Michael Mosley's are brilliant also.

Good luck. X

Thank you, I've just started reading Michael Mosley, he does make sense. Thank you all. xxx

At 21 stone the chances of success and maintaining the success without medication or surgery is low. Not impossible, people do do it, but although Im 20 years younger than you I was also mindful that if at 50 odd I had never succeeded without surgical or medical intervention, then the odds were stacked against me and I was running out of time to have a healthy old age

I had a sleeve. Wish I'd had it decades ago.

You do have to ensure that your supplementation is right, they advise what you should have and its way way above bog standard supplementation amounts, you need to stick to that
Dumping syndrome, well I first had that prior to any surgery! You just have to be careful not to eat high sugar items, I would say that in the 18 months since surgery I had it twice properly. My own fault, chugging back a hot choclate followed by cake. Lesson learned. Its also far more likely with a bypass not a sleeve
Hair loss - yes, around the 3 month mark it starts thinning, then the loss stops around the year mark, then starts growing back. Mine has been hampered by peri menopause, underactive thyroid etc.

I would always advocate for trying the medication first. I didnt like it because of the injection and then kept avoiding taking it. However when I did take it consistently it was very effective, it I had been able to keep it up I wouldnt have had surgery

I would treat it as a medical condition and use help.

Since the new year I've lost 5 stone with semaglutide injections, and now am so much healthier on what I can eat and do

I imagine retiring has really made you focus on how your weight is affecting you, I know when I had an injury last year and was laid up, it was when I started focussing on what I wasnt able to do because of my weight and it was the start of my journey ( Im 10 years younger )

I had to overhaul my diet completely. Mine was too bread focussed, and with the bread came the butter. I could easily demolish a loaf in a day. Grabbing toast, making a sandwich - all so much easier then actually making a meal and sitting eating it

I joined SW. Purely because I personally need the accountability of weekly weigh ins and the support. Its not for everyone and Im certainly never going to say go join. There is a lot of bad press on Mumsnet about SW yet the principles they use are the same as the NHS and Micheal Mosley - eat from all food groups, reduce the amount of processed foods, home cook as much as you can, have 1/3 to half your plate filled with veggies , eat lean protein and cut the sugar and fats down

So I still eat normal meals, I dont have to buy any "slimming foods" especially for me, as a family we all eat the same, only mine will be slightly different. If Im doing mash for the family, then I take a few potatoes out for me to have plain, if its a lazy tea of sausages chips and beans, its air fried chips and I will have eggs instead of sausages. If its jacket spuds, I will use a light cream cheese instead of the butter . I put my cooking oil in a spray bottle and lightly spray rather then gluggling it in - just little sustainable changes

But the one thing I find really helps keep me on track, is to eat my food with a knife and fork. Food that goes into my mouth via my fingers is inhaled. I dont notice Im eating it and I over eat. A sandwich whilst sat on the sofa watching tv - gone and then Im away back up looking a biscuit or chocolate. So now if its a sandwich its an open sandwich, one slice of bread, piled high with salad and pickles and protein, on a plate and eaten sat at the table with a knife and fork. Im more likely to stay full for longer so Im not looking snacks. Its like a quarter pounder from McD's, I can easily demolish a medium meal as a snack and come home and want dinner. If I make a quarter pounder at home and air fried chips, sit with a knife and fork, Id struggle to get it in me - definitely will end up leaving most of the bun

Sitting at the table to eat, increasing my veg intake, and my bowels are back working normally, I dont get the bloating I used to suffer ( I think thats mostly cutting out white bread - I now eat wholemeal ) . I know when Ive over done it on the cake or pastry front, I get very windy and crampy and because I know Im going to suffer, I tend to shy away from those foods naturally

The weight has come off, slowly but surely and I havent ever felt Im on a diet. I also increased my steps. When I first started walking I could barely walk the length of myself without being breathless. But I kept at it and joined park run last year ( I walk it, I cant run ) and 2 stone lighter I walked a Marathon in June

I still go to SW, I enjoy the group and the support. I dont think Ive ever counted a syn in my life as Im not ever going to beat myself up having chocolate :) but I do follow their other principles and it works for me because Im happy for the weight to come off slowly whilst Im not denying myself anything

I feel a lot healthier and Im certainly fitter and slimmer heading into my 60's then I was heading into my 50's

I agree. Fasting and low carb is indeed life changing.

My tuppence worth:
Healthy Mediterranean diet.
Lots of vegetables, moderate protein, small amounts of healthy fats and dairy/Greek yoghurt.
Virtually no UPF, sugar, refined carbs.
Portion control.

Have a look at this book by Dr Mark Hyman. Excellent explanation of why people find it difficult to lose weight and a lot of tasty low carb recipes:

https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/dr-mark-hyman/blood-sugar-solution/9780316127370

Plus exercise: treadmill, walking, floor based pilates type exercises. Check out Lucy Wyndham Read on YouTube - she is lovely and calm, and not very challenging.

Some nice advice here. It won't help you lose wait but will make you feel better - swimming. Takes the pressure off, destresses you, builds up muscle gently.

Don't have surgery. It's not the answer. Finding an interest in how our bodies work and how fat stores are accessed and mobilised and then putting that into practice is the answer. Once you have done this for a while, your habits will change.

It was this that allowed me to work out that I needed more animal fat in my diet for good mental health and that I was overloaded with oxalates.

I hate it when people use the term 'journey' but you need to see this as one and make a journal too of each day and what you did towards improving your health and how you feel. It will help you stay committed and you can look back at your mistakes and learn from them.

Get a good set of scales and weigh yourself every day and create a chart. You won't lose weight every day but you will have other victories to put in your journal. It's a marathon not a sprint.

Eat less and move more is true but you have to eat more of some things like animal fats and good meat protein which is very highly dense nutritionally but for relatively few calories.

Eating with no other distractions will allow you to enjoy each mouthful and clean your teeth when you are finished as that neutralises your taste buds and stops you craving more.

I have found that eating one meal a day and not drinking water prior so I have a good level of stomach acid to digest has really helped with discipline but work towards this later.

I weigh a fair bit more than you op ,I'm actually to embarrassed to say how much .
But I downloaded the NHS app for loosing weight
It helps me track calories.
After menopause it's definitely harder to loose weight
I bought of Amazon a sit and peddle thing ,I sit in a chair and I peddle it ,I'm burning at least 500 calories a day on it .it's one that was made in the UK and is very solid ..don't get the ones that plug in ,they break
Having been to the gym in the past ,it's exactly like being on a sit. down bike at the gym .
I'm slowly loosing 2 lbs every week, peddling each day , swimming a bit ,and tracking my calories on my app.
I do get twitchy sometimes and think it's not fast enough,and I should get the weight loss injections
But I've had gallstones in the past and it was utter agony worse than childbirth,and I heard pancreatitis is a similar pain ,so that's why I don't use injections

I'll second swimming 🏊‍♀️ as a great way to exercise without killing your joints. Another thing to look out for is Aqua Arobics.

I think I'd seriously consider what the doctor is offering. Given this is the NHS we are talking about, the Op wouldn't be next week. Odds are you'll have a 6mth wait at least.

In the meantime I'd try natural ways like keto or intermittent fasting, swimming and walking, see how you get on, if it's working fantastic, great you can always cancel the operation.

Have you tried chair based exercises? They might help just boost your metabolism a little. Once you lose a bit of weight walking will be less strain on your knees and you may be able to up your steps too.

Avoid or minimise white carbs to avoid blood sugar spikes that will stop your body burning fat and make you sluggish and hungry. Batch cook so you have easy options.

Increase dietary fibre (whole grains, vegetables, pulses) and protein (lentils, chickpeas, peas, beans, lean white meat, fish).

Make a few simple swaps: turkey mince for beef, olive oil spread for butter, mozzarella or cottage cheese for cheddar, wholemeal for white.

Drink 2 litres of water a day.

Buy smaller bowls and plates!

good luck

Great post! Sensible moderate approach and realistic. Fantastic results too! 👏👏

OP, so many of us have been in a similar position.

I've been on Mounjaro (tons of threads on here about it) and it's changed my life. One pain-free injection (absolutely tiny needle) once a week and no more decisions have to be made. It stops you thinking about food, sweets, alcohol, etc. It allows you to focus on what you need to eat to stay healthy. I've lost 20 lbs over 10 weeks, so no miracle cure where you lose several pounds a week, but I reckon by Christmas I'll be a really healthy weight. If you think you can't afford it, have a think about whether you can afford not to do something like this. You really need the next ten years of your life to be much healthier ones. Don't have the trauma of a gastric sleeve without trying these injections first.