Can't seem to stick to a diet ..

[HannahSmyth90]

Since having my kids I have put on 6 and a half stone, I don't know why but I can not seem to stick to a diet, I get really bad sugar withdrawal the first 5 days and if I get through that I start feeling better and loose weight but then I kid myself that I know longer have a carb/sugar addiction and end up slowly coming off the diet. My mum, sister and other family members, are all very overweight and obsessed with wanting to loose weight (diet starts Monday, diet starts from the 1st of next month or 'from now on ..' speach .) I have fallen into this pattern . My question is : dose anyway have any success stories.. sticking to a diet ? Any motivation advice ? Thank you

Can you try to reframe that you are not on a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. Diets usually don’t work, no, because they are restrictive and like you say have a pattern.

You could just change one little thing at a time and work on that, like walking more or drinking more water, or just something new and different for a week and then at the end of that week, add a new thing in. Problem with diets is that they are ‘all or nothing ‘ and your brain feels like you are tricking it into having good things taken away

You could write a list of what is important to you with your health
mobility?
Health?
sleep?

then work on that area. What is it about weight gain that is negative you want to change? Don’t pick the visual aspect of fat vs thin, choose areas that will improve your life in lots of ways.

so if you pick mobility you have a goal to work forwards. I want to be more mobile and walk more and enjoy life with my kids. So what I need to do is… get more exercise, swap sugary things for fruit or veg, get more sleep, get a hobby.. so many things you can do

I had a few motivations and one was mobility the other was comfort. I could no longer paint my own toenails so I set out determined that I would be able to do it if I got fitter and lost weight. I also didn’t want to have a bad back anymore
all of these are your motivations for keep going

hackneyed but true - it's not a diet, it's a llifestyle change.

More veg, protein, wholemeal fibre rich carbs, more veg, and yet more veg. You start to lose the taste for sugar. Takes about a month I reckon. Summer a good time to start as more veg seems appealing.

Don't drink sugary stuff either.

Move more too.

Start small as well, so have a decent breakfast....omelette or similar that will keep you full.

Don't go faddy.

Thank you so much for response, you are spot on with the all or nothing, I go on these very restricted diets, and the night before I have a 'last supper' type meal where I eat everything I can , because I tell myself I won't be able to eat like this from now on.. I am always dehydrated, I would rather eat then drink which is a big problem and my sleep is awful. I will try and change one thing a week and I am sure I will get results . I will think.to myself 1lb weight loss a week is 52lb in a year, and I have been wanting to loose weight for 5 years, thank you for help :)

Amazing, I think also try not to get sucked into your family dynamic. The new you drinks more water and you are right, all the little losses (and good gains like being hydrated) will add up before you know it

the new you will try go to bed earlier and sleep better. Don’t think about it the food for now or set yourself a huge mountain to climb

She’s not everyone cup of tea but she is mine - listen to kiana Docherty on YouTube. She talks a lot about change and its dynamic. And how humans are very predicable, so many of us in the same boat. You aren’t alone

https://youtube.com/@kianadocherty?si=W50Jf9NYU1ltTuK1

Mounjaro.

Don’t diet.

Read the ultra processed food book. It will change how you see food in general.

Simplify diet in the meantime to just trying to eat regular non processed food. Calories and diet food are a con when you get things like slimming world selling ‘diet’ sweet bars as snacks as only xyz calories and critical of someone eating an avocado or handful of cashews as ‘high calories’

By eating less processed stuff you will have less chance of eating so much crap. For example making a cake or biscuits is a lot more effort than just eating a shop bought packaged one, so you will likely eat a lot less cake and biscuits.

@HannahSmyth90 I have a terrible sweet tooth. I managed to lose the extra weight after first dc, but it's been a different story since second child (now 8 years old 😳). I ended up restricting foods to the extent that the binges got worse and worse.
About 5 weeks ago, I decided I had to change. I'm the largest in my family (and my sister recently had a baby).
This time I started by drinking more water, I have one of those bottles that has hour markings. Because I wanted to drink the 2 litres of water, every time I popped into the kitchen, I had to drink some water first before reaching for a snack. Surprisingly, the water eased the craving, to the point I can now happily go from meal to meal without snacking. Reducing the snacks helped a lot! I've then managed to gradually reduce portions, and started to use myfitnesspal to help track calories. It definitely has to be a slow process.
I had a slip up on Saturday, was invited to a friend's for lunch, ate quite a bit (plus huge dessert), and spent the rest of the day feeling awful. The after feeling was not worth it, so now I know I don't want to get to that point when eating.
I have added exercise (minimum 20 minutes to 45 minutes), this allows me those extra calories but it also helps keep me motivated too.
I have to remind myself this is a lifestyle change and not a short term diet to reach my goal weight, and I will have days that are 'bad' but as long as one day of overeating doesn't turn into months and years it's all good 😁
Hope that helps in some way 😊

Im sticking with the lifestyle changes I started on last April.

I admit I walked through SW's door for help because like yourself, I can tell myself a whole pack of lies and the accountability of going weekly and being weighed keeps me focussed , keeps me on track, even when I have been eating around myself and know Ive gained, I go and weigh in, face the scales and wise up because now the weight has gone, Im not going to allow it to creep back on me

The support of the group keeps me on the right path. Family can sabotage attempts , my mum who lives with us, knows I dont buy cakes and biscuits and every week out she goes, buys a cream cake and piles of biscuits and leaves those on the sideboard by the kitchen door so I see them every-time I go in there. DH pour me a drink ( which Ive allowed for ) and then opens a bag of cashews and plonks it down in front of me. If I relied on them for support the weight would still be on me

As the weight went I started upping my steps and now I walk daily which really helps with mood and motivation

The changes havent been hard to make, lean meats, lots of veg, some fruit, ease up on the bread and cut the cakes/biscuits etc down. I home cook all meals whenever possible so Im not consuming hidden sugars and fats. Tonight for example its lazy tea cos Ive a pile of bacon medallions sat in the fridge to use up, so its egg, bacon, chips and beans, with grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. Sounds like a tea thats not allowed on a "diet" but the bacon is lean, I shall poach the eggs and the chips are hand cut and air fried. Pre lifestyle changes Id throw on a couple of sausages and at least two slices of bread slathered with butter. Now I rely on the added veg to help fill me. I eat till im comfortably full and walk away.

Looking in the mirror everyday, seeing myself back in clothes Ive not had on me in years really helps as well

I'm seriously considering

I'd really recommend ultra processed people to read as you go.

It's horrifying and eye-opening in equal measure and completely changes the way you view particular foods that are engineered to be hyper palatable.

It helped me completely change my view of 'treat foods' I no longer want them because I know the shit that's in them.

That and intermittent fasting, completely changed my relationship with food for the better. No longer craving the stuff I used to that piled on the weight.

I agree with small steps and finding some intrinsic motivation.

For me it was getting as healthy as possible to increase my chances of conceiving against age odds. It worked magic: suddenly I became full of energy, focused at work, feeling great and just much more happier with life. It’s unbelievable how what we put into our mouths affects all aspects of life. Eating well is an act of self care and you certainly deserve it.

Also aiming for a sensible, 80/20 approach. Perfection is a unicorn, it doesn’t exist.

Thank you so much for all the comments, I have already started researching all the recommendations! I was looking for diet motivation , but a lot of you are right not to crash diet or be a slave to a diet ! I'm going to change my way of thinking and relationship with food ! Thanks again 😍

Have a look for the 5+ stone to lose thread on here, as advice from people who've never been seriously overweight might be well meant but is unlikely to actually help.

I lost 49 kg (which is around 7.5 stone very roughly) during the pandemic, kept it off for a year but have put 18kg (just under 3stone I think) back on - I know why and am now back on the case. Jason Fung's 'The Obesity Code ' and 'Life in the Fasting Lane' and Gin Stevens 'Fast Feast Repeat ' and her free podcasts helped me get my head in gear and stay that way. I've just re-read The Obesity Code and am about to re-read the other books and also read 'Why we eat too much ' which I haven't read yet.

Chronic obesity is hormonal (Insulin and Cortisol primarily, I don't mean estrogen and progesterone so much). If you've been obese for years and it's only getting worse you're probably insulin resistant. Genetics play a role so it's not surprising many of your family are similar but you CAN reverse it.

Intermittent fasting and cutting right down on processed and added sugar (without worrying about naturally occurring sugar) and cutting down on processed grains (flour basically - bread, cake etc) is what worked for me. I ate whatever I wanted within a 4-6 hour eating window in every 24 hours as long as I avoided processed sugar and flour products except on special occasions (although sometimes I counted my children having baked as a special occasion I didn't include random work acquaintances bringing in birthday cake! So most weeks I stuck to it 100% and if my own family had birthdays I gave myself leeway on what I ate but never extended my eating window beyond 6 hours maximum).

Once I started maintaining I initially just extended my window to 6-8 hours and it was fine, but then a year in I hit another stressful phase of life and slipped into longer windows and then fatally the compensatory eating of products containing processed sugar and flour 😳 For me it's almost like an alcoholic slipping back into old destructive reliance on alcohol after being "dry" for a couple of years.

However I haven't put even half the total weight back on and I'm back on the case of getting back into good habits now for the sake of my health. So I do count myself as a success story 😳😊🤣

I also upped my activity very significantly mainly by walking, and went from struggling to walk up the hill near my house to walking 5-7km every day (which I've kept up) and hiking in the alps for fun (which the above mentioned stressful phase has meant I haven't had time for recently) but firmly believe this isn't the main thing for weight loss on the scale (although it helps to reduce insulin resistance indirectly by building skeletal muscle and the change it makes to body shape is motivating).

Stress and sleep deprivation are linked to weight gain for me both psychologically due to the self destructive coping mechanism I've maladaptively formed a habit of falling into, and due to Cortisol - it's a vicious spiral I have to consciously break and stay away from.

Health is my motivation and appearances are a wonderful side benefit!

You CAN do it but it's not just about willpower. Have a read of Jason Fung to understand why all diets work in the short term but "eat less and move more" doesn't cut it long term because of insulin resistance and the body's tendancy towards homeostasis.

Good luck!

Thank you so much , I have wrote down your recommendations and I am researching them , I already purchased a book recommended in the previous comments . I love the idea of educating myself about food/ nutrition rather than my ' diet shakes and meal replacment bars'
Thanks again 😍