Losing weight after breastfeeding and history of disordered eating

[HappySquid]

Has anyone managed to lose weight without drastic restriction of one sort or another?

I have a history of disordered eating (not severe enough to be an actual ED, but some very unhealthy behaviours with food and restricting/bingeing/over-dieting).

In the last four years I've worked really hard to overcome those issues and move towards an intuitive eating approach where I just allow myself whatever I want to eat and it has worked really well in terms of healing a lot of the issues I had around body image and removing the cravings I used to have which would lead to bingeing behaviour. However, since having and breastfeeding my DS (he's now 2 and still nursing), I can't seem to stop gaining weight. I suspect it's related to the nursing and I'm hoping to wean him soon but I'm not expecting that to be an instant fix in terms of weight just dropping off (obviously if it does the trick I'll be delighted but I suspect it won't be that easy)!

At the moment I am I uncomfortable in my body, my clothes don't fit well and while I don't feel the need to be tiny again, or 'desirable', I do want to feel comfortable in my own body. AND I also don't want to return to restricting calories/excluding food groups - I had gestational diabetes at the end of my pregnancy and was on a strict diet then which really impacted my mental health and sent me back to craving and bingeing once DS was born for around a year, until the intuitive eating got me back to being balanced. So I am really reluctant to do anything too restrictive as I'm wary of triggering my unhealthy eating patterns again and getting stuck in a cycle of dieting and then overeating as a response.

At the moment we eat pretty healthily - lots of fruit and veg, not too much sweet stuff etc, although exercise is a bit of a challenge which I am working on. This means there aren't many easy/obvious levers I can pull - I rarely drink alcohol, don't eat much chocolate/sugary foods, don't drink fizzy drinks etc.

I would love to hear if anyone has found success with losing weight without going down a route of drastic restriction, and if so how you managed it? Or similarly if weaning from breastfeeding made any difference to your weight if, like me, you just kept gaining while you were nursing?

My first piece of advice is to change your mindset - your body is exactly the way it is meant to be, post childbirth, post feeding.

The clothes you have are wrong.

Buy bigger clothes - it made a big difference to me accepting that my body had changed. I spent a few years on various restrictive diets which like you just set off binging and eventually bulimia. But it was getting out of hand so I tried to just accept my new shape and get a new wardrobe.

My top tip is to use Vinted to replace clothes you know suit you / you wear a lot but just in a size up.

Oh and I've also focussed on fitness and strength so I am proud of my body and taking care of it. If I've exercised in the morning then I eat better which means less binging.

Nursing doesn’t make you gain weight in itself. At the start it can use a fair amount of calories- but this declines as the baby gets older. You can retain some weight though - apparently around your bum :) but it doesn’t make you gain. But - do you find you sit and eat while Bf maybe? It sounds like you are eating healthily and have done really well (I really feel for women who have to do the diet for gestational diabetes as I can’t imagine much worse when pregnant).

What about the exercise - is there something active you can do with your toddler? I used to do stuff like baby gymnastics and we’d join in- I was knackered! And chasing them round the parks etc it was probably some of my most active times in my life as toddlers have such endless energy.

It took me 9 months to loose my pregnancy weight and I was bf for all of that. But at the start I was snacking a LOT when feeding. I had to stop putting so much rubbish in the trolley. What about portion size? Are you hungry or do you need to alter meals like more protein etc?

I have gained weight with both kids around the same stage after losing initially (breastfed until they were 2). For me I was eating what I needed for breastfeeding when they were 6 months when they weren't taking that much anymore... I was also shattered, returning to work (desk job), broken sleep so I was snacking. My problem was definitely chocolate and I see you eat quite healthily but maybe just cut some of the volumes? I've had to calorie count but I appreciate that might not be great for you, but I'm not doing anything drastic, just a bit less and move a bit more and gradually I feel more like me.

Second the toddler classes... 30mins of toddler football is a good workout 🤣

@FusionChefGeoff yes totally agree about changing mindset. I've worked really hard at this over the past few years and I don't want to go back to being a size 8/10, I just want to feel comfortable in my body again. At the moment some physical activities are uncomfortable or difficult because of how much weight I've put on but I don't need to lose loads of weight for that to resolve. I definitely haven't got it perfect yet but I do feel proud of my body for everything it's done (especially after everything I've put it through in the past!) and I'm now trying to exercise for health instead of weight control which is a big shift and which I'm really enjoying. I want to get some new clothes that fit better (current clothes are the right size but not quite the right shape I think) but since I'm still gaining I want to wait until I've stabilised at whatever weight that's going to be - we can't afford to just keep buying new clothes in each size as I keep going up. I'm so glad to hear that you found a way to body acceptance and overcame the bingeing cycles from before, that gives me hope so thank you for sharing that.

On a separate note, I've tried Vinted for me but find that there's such variation between different brand sizes it's been tricky to get right. I love it for kids stuff though!

@Bobobab @fashionqueen0123 love the idea of toddler classes! I will have to look into that. Football might be out as DS is currently obsessed with (sports) balls and tries to grab any that he sees, whether it's other littles or teenagers playing with them, even when he has one of his own with him. You can imagine how much fun our trips to the park are when other kids are playing footie! I really like the idea of doing something with him though so I'll look into that.

I think you are onto something re portion size, I will definitely take a look at that. DH has quite large portions at lunch as he tends to skip breakfast (lunch is our main meal of the day) so I wonder if I'm judging my (smaller) portion size by his but incorrectly. I usually manage to get out for a walk with DS each morning and the end up at the park although I have a chronic health issue which flares up 20+ days a month. On the worst days I can't leave the house, and on others I can make it to the park but not for the longer walk first. So exercise is a bit hit and miss. He will only nap on my lap but I have just started moving him off me after a little while and doing some weight training while he's sleeping so I'm trying to do this as frequently as possible when I feel up to it, it's just tricky getting into a regular routine with my health stuff going on at the same time.

I do find the breastfeeding makes me constantly hungry and while I try to keep snacks healthy (fruit, yoghurt, wholemeal toast with hummus etc) I think the volume of food is probably just a bit more than I need. I'm leaning towards counting calories but aiming only for a small deficit so that change is slow and sustainable and so I don't feel too restricted, and I think your suggestion of adding more protein is a good one too. Thanks for taking the time to respond!

My kids were the same re the naps! I did the same and slid them off me onto the couch :) that’s great you’ve already done some weights. I had a friend who used to serve her meals on a kids plate - not to give herself a child’s portion but just to make sure she wasn’t giving herself a portion that was too big- as you say like a man’s!
Sorry to hear about your health condition that sounds really tricky. So yes if you can find a class or kick about the park whenever possible that might be good :)

I stopped eating while I was breastfeeding, and that made a big difference for me in terms of stopping weight gain - it can become a bit of a habit, I think.

But otherwise I haven't gained while feeding and I haven't lost much by starting to wean him. Sadly I don't know anyone who has lost on weaning. I know a few people who have lost a lot of weight through feeding, but nobody who was stable while feeding and then lost weight when they stopped. So I'd focus less on weaning and more on movement, new clothes, and keeping an eye on portion control.

You sound really measured and that's a really important thing.

@fashionqueen0123 the naps are so lovely! I'm gutted to move him off me really as I know it won't last forever and want to make the most of it but his nap time now is right when I need to be doing things so this seems like the best compromise. Fingers crossed he keeps being snuggly even after the naps move! I like the idea of using a smaller plate, I can see how that would be helpful and a good way to help with portion size without calorie counting or weighing too.

@YouveGotAFastCar yes it's funny isn't it, I have seen people on here and on Reddit who feel that the nursing is causing their body to hold on to extra weight but then others have the opposite experience. I suppose there are so many factors involved that it's impossible to know. Like you say I'm going to watch what I'm eating (especially portion sizes) and try to increase the amount of exercise I'm getting too. Hopefully that will be enough to shift the needle!

Yes I don’t think you need to get into weighing food or anything obsessive! And when your health allows you, lots of pram walks! X