Where do I start?

[DustyLee123]

In my 50’s, peri menopausal, need to lose 3 stone. I’ve never dieted in my life.
I do 2/3 hours exercise a week, and average 10,000 steps a day. I am a hungry person. I’ve tried eating only fruit between meals and it ends up making me feel sick. If I drink 2 litres of water a day I’m up multiple times in the night to wee. I know that I need to change my diet for life, rather than a quick fix.
Where do I start?

This time last year I was a month in to 16:8 (although I often do up to 18 now). I was a size 16/14 (and only 5ft), I'm now a 6/8. I found not eating breakfast I just didn't want to snack all morning. I have a light meal around 11-12, a snack of fruit or crackers and hummus. I then have a normal evening meal at no later than 6pm. I started writing down calories on mfp to give me a realistic view of what I was eating, this helped change my mind set and help me make healthier choices. I still have relaxed days, birthday cake etc but am happily maintaining. I think the combination of the fasting rules (no snacking after evening meal, starting eating later on) and the reality check of what is actually in some foods/portion sizes really helped.
It's a way of life for me especially as it has reduced my ibs and Gerd issues as well.
I think your right it's about a new normal, an eating plan for life rather than a strict diet. I have skimmed milk in my tea during fasting times and flexible days for birthdays, a breakfast out or a holiday Or just because but because I know I'm a lot healthier sticking to my new normal is only odd times.
It's definitely took something clicking in my head about what calories I needed (a lot lower than I thought) and feeling healthier to just become second nature. I expect everyone's moment is different and everyone's reasons will be different it's just finding those moments and then finding a way to have a healthy eating plan fit into your life (rather than trying to fit your life to your new diet and resenting it).
Also I do no exercise (due to disability) so adding in exercise would have probably helped (but shows that if you can't always exercise you can still loose weight).

I was in your position a few years ago and lost 3 stone in 4-5 months. I tracked everything going into my mouth on MyFitnessPal, got up early and exercised every day for 45 mins, low impact and with hand held weights. I was ravenous at the start but became acclimatised to eating less and I increased lean protein and only ate when I was really hungry. I made hunger my friend. Naked bars were my friend when I needed something sweet but that was instead of not as well as. I’m not advocating this but it worked for me and in terms of calories my max was 1200 although a month in I tried to keep around 800 net (deducting calories expended) and my body liked this. I found the maintenance the hardest as it’s a lifestyle which I still have yet to crack fully.

Increase protein to 1g per 1lb of target weight. Reduce carbs to allow the extra protein space on your plate.

if you need to snack, again, include protein.

I cant eat fruit it makes me feel cold, depressed and hungry

I snack on nuts, cheese, houmous etc

I dont mind raw veg so some tomatoes mixed up with cheese as a little snack suits me fine

Do you think it might just be portion size for you?

Also, I really do need to do exercise, but conversely I know that exercise makes me ravenous.

When I used to go swimming regularly I put on so much weight as I was constantly hungry for massive carby meals