Maintaining good habits

[Humongo]

I am aiming to lose about a stone, but I’m fed up with yo-yo-ing. I want to lose very gradually and change my bad habits forever! Has anyone done this? What are your top tips?

My big problem is emotional eating and snacking through boredom. I have no willpower and I love food. I also use food to pep up my mood through the day and give me things to look forward to. I have some success with swaps (eg rice cake instead of biscuits) but slip back very easily, particularly if someone brings sugar into the house!

I like these questions!

ok so for me (sorry if it’s long)

I use mindfulness

This is as basic as just asking myself questions

do I need to eat this
why am I eating it
what am I expecting to get out of this
do I need it
could I choose something else
what did I already eat today
am I doing this because of another feeling?

then I am having an open chat with myself about the justification of it. Sometimes the answer is I just fancy it but sometimes it’s ’I’m stressed or bored’ so then I can ask myself:

what can I do to fill my time
what do I like doing
shall I try distraction first and then come back to this later

I’ve made myself really busy a lot of the time (I’ve got into crosswords big time 😂)

I also look at my food when I eat it and don’t stare at TV’s or phones. I make sure I taste it all properly

Hi @Menora 👋😃
Your answer was so good so just here to back up the self chat - I started small with this so I don't do this with every bit of food. I started with sweets, cakes, crisps (basically anything that wasn't a proper meal) and would ask myself what I was feeling in the moment. I realised I used those foods to numb feelings I found difficult. I often would want cup of tea and a biscuit once I'd sat down to a tough project at work for example, or a muffin and a coffee after a meeting I found stressful. So I've been trying to find a bit more balance in feeling my emotions. Sometimes, cake is necessary, even if it is to soothe feelings. But more often than not it would just make me feel worse tbh.

As Menora said I'd also try to get some proper fun and joy into life where it might be lacking. I've started scrapbooking instead of munching on food at night, so much fun! I also started reading more in bed with water or camomile and I love that so much.

I haven't cracked the exercise thing, I'd like to be more constant with it but I don't know how.

Hope this helps?

This is really interesting thanks. And I agree it’s really important to start small. I’ve tried mindful eating-type things before and always expected to go from 0-100 straight away, and then inevitably gave up!

Menora’s tips are all very good.

I can also recommend a more general technique that helps me and can be then broken down to smaller, actionable steps. This has to do with values clarification and involves setting aside some time (doesn’t have to be in one go) to think about fundamental things that are important to us in life and how we want to live our lives to be the best versions of ourselves and lead a meaningful life.

These can be things like health, for instance. Or self-growth. It’s important to be selfish about these and think about what we want and what ultimately is important to us, not how other people want us to be.

For me these are values like health, self control, moderation and living close to nature. For others it can be a different set. Everyone has a drive to be perceived as congruent, saying one thing and doing another thing creates a very strong feeling of cognitive dissonance that affects our mood and wellbeing. So we have a tendency to follow what we believe is important to us, therefore spelling it out helps. Every time we do something we can try to reflect for a second whether this makes us the person we want to be.

These ideas come from CBT and originally from stoic philosophy. There are tons of resources regarding stoic philosophy online, including apps, books, podcasts and more. It might sound completely alien or complex but it’s actually a precursor of modern cognitive-behavioural therapy and a very practical tool to improve our mood, resilience and wellbeing. Value clarification is one of many exercises that I found helpful, not just for eating and weight loss but in most areas of life.

Yes start small! You might just start with your 3pm snack. Or walking more. Who would you like to be? What really motivates you?

I will share mine if you like. I had to look after my mum following an OP and it was like an insight into my life in 20 years time. Scared the crap out of me. She has not looked after her health so long, my motivation became ‘ageing well’. Not visually, as in face creams and Botox. Ageing well to stay mobile and active and not reliant on my children at a young age.

CBT is amazing you can really make it work for you. Agree with researching a CBT technique you can adapt to make your own