‘We won’t both fit’

[Wewontbothfit]

This was said to be coming out of the gym today. There’s an airlock, it’s not huge but now small either. Maybe a bit bigger than a lift.

For context I am 5”2 and 56.4kg. I go to that gym five times a week, I am a regular. I hadn’t even tried to go in at the same time I was walking towards it as she shut the first door. She said ‘we won’t both fit’ and made a peculiar face. I said that it was ok ‘I can wait’ The lady was probably half my age and had a lovely figure. I’ve not seen her there before.

The comment really hurt! I’m bigger than I want to be but I don’t think I’m even overweight! Am I being over dramatic? It was the face too? Think I stepped on a bee/wasp (whatever) face by Amber Heard. Could it be my age?

Maybe she thought you were a space invader. It may have nothing to do with your appearance.

At about 8 and a half stones I really don't think she was implying you are fat.

I don't do kilos...so I converted. You're 8 and a half stone. She didn't mean you were too fat obviously. Who cares anyway. Perhaps she's a germaphobe making an excuse. Perhaps she'd just farted and was embarrassed. Who knows. Who cares.

She probably just didn't want to share the space with anyone. Don't overthink it, it's not worth it.

I'm more concerned that you feel big. You aren't. You are a really nice weight for your height

Maybe she's just funny about sharing confined spaces with people

I care! If she had slammed the door shut or said wait or whatever I wouldn’t have cared.
I know that I’m not overweight but don’t know why she would say that we won’t both fit if it wasn’t about my size?

@size4feet maybe I worded it wrongly but I’m currently the wrong shape. All belly!

Maybe she was referring to her size or doesn't like being that close to people.

Let's say for arguments sake she meant your weight. That's just her (rude) opinion, brush is off and try and have a good day! Maybe the deeper issue is why does that upset you so much? I sometimes get comments about my weight but I'm actually overweight so I'm not upset by it and I'm ok with being overweight (I want to lose weight after my pregnancy but in terms of looks my weight is fine for me, it's for health). But if I get comments about my intelligence I get really upset because one of my insecurities is what I think is my lack of culture and education.

Seems like she was discombobulated and said a weird thing in the moment. Far more likely to be about her than you.

@AppleStrudel23 thank you, that makes sense. If I wasn’t worried about it I could have brushed it off.

@MrsTerryPratchett maybe!

It's much more likely that she was referring to her own weight rather than yours. Or were you both carrying gym bags that would have made it a bit of a squeeze?

Or she just prefers a bit more personal space and thoughtlessly blurted out the first thing that came into her head.

I think it’s this . She may have some sensory/ spatial awareness issues or just not like people coming close. I don’t know what size the space is and I can’t quite picture it from OP’s description , but I know generally I hate people trying to unnecessarily enter a small space at the same time as me. I will usually hang back or speed up to avoid it though.

Maybe the deeper issue is why does that upset you so much?

**
Good point , now that I’m a bit heavier it may have bothered me for a minute but not to this extent and certainly not back when I was 8.5 stone as I’d have known she wasn’t calling me fat - as that wouldn’t make sense since a grown adult is clearly slim at that weight.

But there are worse things than a random stranger thinking you’re fat anyway.

I hate sharing those revolving doors that are split into 4. Objectively there is enough space but I just hate it and always say to the kids get out of my door. Maybe she feels the same about the airlock?

If it's a 'pure gym' then the air lock capsules there are only for one person and are linked to your personal PIN. If the air lock your describing is the same size and shape then I'd feel extremely uncomfortable at sharing one of them with my husband let alone a stranger 😂

What an odd expression...the wrong shape? The wrong shape for what?

Please remember most people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are.

Is it the airlock that PureGym have? Those are miniscule, no way would I get in one of those with another person!
And half the time they don't work properly, what if you get stuck in there?! 😱 No no no no!

She just meant airlocks aren't designed for two people.

You've been completely over sensitive about this. How on earth have you interpreted it the way you have?

As someone said above, people are not thinking about you the way or as much as you think they are. I was saying this to my OH recently (went in one ear and out the other), anxiety is basically caused (contributed to at least) by people thinking that other people have them at their centre. They dont. Stop centering yourself in every situation. Its not about you!!!!