I've just eaten Six bags crisps

[villy77]

As title says and now feel disgusting.
I am almost 15 stone and short.
Help
Can't control my eating anymore
Depressed and think what's the point. Loves me but I can tell doesnt fancy me. Told me as much few years ago but back tracked but damage mentally done.
Oh doesn't initiate any physical stuff now.
I'm a blob.
No one looks at me anymore. Invisible.
Life is boring when not eating. I don't enjoy things without food in the mix.

It’s one mistake, don’t feel bad every journey has blips along the way, maybe cut back tomorrow. You’ll make bad decisions from time to time regarding food but it’s not sustainable to be ‘good’ all the time. Pick yourself back up and carry on tomorrow!

Trouble is this is a journey that I was on lost all the weight and kept off for couple years and now back to square one. Finding it so hard to get that motivation I used to have. Just don't know if I got it in me anymore.

I get DH to buy me jewellery if I lose weight. I love having new jewellery so it motivates me to snack on homemade fresh vegetable soup or an apple.

Got no interest in anything

I follow WW Monday to Friday, as good as gold (obviously I have the odd blip here and there!) and then if I want a treat on a weekend I can have one! I've lost 1st 6.5lbs in 19 weeks.. is that something that would work for you? Knowing I only have a max of 5 days before I can have nice cheese, chocolate, crisps etc keeps me on track! I also have chippy and takeaway each week and still manage to lose!

villy77 could it be that you are depressed? If you are then dieting is just another mountain to climb. Sending you a big hug.

Feel for you. I do this sometimes -it is like self-harming. I hate myself for letting the weight go back on when I lost it. And low self-esteem.
The only way out is fun exercise with a group. Eg park run/zumba etc. especially if you are beginners all learning something new together and bond as a group it get the endorphins working which raise mood and reduce food cravings.
Have taken up rowing at my advanced age. I always dread iit really don’t feel like going after work, but… when I get there I always do enjoy it, and feel on a high afterwards and don’t feel I like eating. When we go afterwards to the pub I don’t even feel like drinking alcohol who is very unusual for me.
look round for eg beginners badminton etc? No need for a high level of fitness and it is not that the exercise burns calories but that the feeling you get from being with a group improves mood.

Yeah I'm constantly self harming with food. Walked home from work today. Long walk and I felt exhausted when home as my job is very busy environment. Ate piece of chocolate cake on arrival home so sabotaged walk.

There was a programme on radio about.. .suicide ideation (bear with me).
They talked about triggers and avoiding them plus planning to avoid impetus moments.

What I mean is, if you planned in the morning what you wanted for tea, and got it prepared, something like a ready meal or canned food, then when you get in, you wont' think "I just need something". Instead you'd have a specific plan you know in advance, a bunch of items to heat up (eg., ready meal or out of cans) rather than a bunch of crisps.

Because you know after work you don't want to have to think what to eat & you're too tired to not eat. So you can go on autopilot & eat something you like better than 6 bags of crisps.

Just a thought. x

I'm not surprised you felt hungry and desperate for food after that long days work and walk home. Give yourself a pat on the back for managing all that and don't feel like you deserve bad things.

Crisps are interesting because they arent actually that filling but they give sensory feedback...your brain is craving dopamine texture, a hit, whatever you call it with the crunch.

There's a book called The dopamine diet I think which focuses on foods that satisfy our dopamine needs without so much sugar and fat.

The more malnourished your brain is the more it's craving fat and sugar and texture/sensation.

So it may be about finding other hits...could be mindfulness gardening music using a straw to drink fizzy water comfortable bright interesting clothes posting on Mumsnet reading a book travelling and seeing interesting sights (could be a day trip, or just an hour's walk and looking around)

There is so much to enjoy in life and it could be a very slow process of losing weight but you would get there in the end

Take care.

@villy77 Im sorry you are feeling that food is the only thing in your life that is enjoyable, but it’s making you miserable. Can you describe your life and routine from a couple of years ago when your weight and appetite were not a problem? What changed to creat your current situation? 💐