I'm desperate to lose weight but I can't stick to anything.

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My weight is making me really unhappy. I ache. No intimacy with my partner. I have no energy. I'm really low from it.

I keep trying to lose weight but I just put it back on and more.

I've tried every diet. I've tried calorie counting. I've tried meal prepping which worked well but eventually something happens, I get knocked off plan and boom I'm back to binge eating. Self sabotage and generally hating myself.

I don't know what to do. I've been on some kind of diet on and off since I was 14. Even getting married hasn't made it happen. I'm just very low from it.

I need to lose about 6 stone. Probably more.

Wegovy. Life changing.

I've heard quite scary things about the side effects of these drugs. Are you currently taking it? Would you mind giving me your perspective?

GP blood tests to check if you have anything else going on. ie vitamin D deficiency (which makes you put on weight...AND makes you feel tired lethargic achey)

Possibly CBT to see how you feel about yourself regardless of weight. Some thin people can be very unhappy, some overweight people can be perfectly happy - self esteem starts with you, not your actual size. And then believing in yourself might help with the next bit.

NB I've found cutting out processed sugar and fruit has helped enormously. I don't calorie count. And walking briskly three times a day. I'm losing weight at the moment ...I'm about two stone overweight now, I've already lost half a stone in two weeks.

Anything with added sugar of any kind ie Shreddies, chutney ketchup fruit juice, yoghurt. And no sweeteners they aggravate cravings.

Monjauro

It’s like a weight has been lifted off of me. I’m no longer obsessed with food. I only eat what I need to for nutrition and energy. I can have 1 chocolate if I feel like chocolate and not gorge on a whole box. It’s life changing.

you need to see your dr. there are drugs to help you with this.
it's unlikely any medication side effect will be worse for your health than the extra weight and mh struggles that your currently experiencing.
yes you will need to stay focused on healthy eating habits but for now it sounds like you need a bit of extra support.

Hi OP, I was the same as you, tried everything and different plans either didn't work or were unsustainable, or did work but at some point I'd crack and whack back on all the weight and more. I analysed why this was happening and realised I knew full well what I should be eating but was just eating for so many reasons other than hunger (bored, tired, upset, habit, opportunity, peer pressure, social occasion etc). Realised I needed to fix my mindset rather than follow a diet. I found Slimpod and it's changed everything. It's not a diet (no food plan or restrictions), it's unconscious persuasion and support that encourages you to naturally eat less (only when you're hungry), move more, choose better.
I'm nearly a year in, lighter than my young woman weight, reversed a couple of other things but even more than that I feel light and free and not obsessing about food. You can do 10d free trial, still get refund after next 30d and in any case total cost is 3 months at £33 each then you have it all forever. You get loads of support. I had a voucher too so total cost was £89 and I am beyond different now. Maybe have a look for 10d as free and stop if not for you. (I have no link to it BTW, but it took me a long time to find and has helped me so much so worth a look 😊).

I had 6 stone to loose, I am late 40’s. Been overweight all my adult life. I had previously tried all sorts of diets, weight watchers, VLCD packs (did those for 10 years on and off and spent thousands only to be exactly like the statistics and heavier when I stopped than when I started).

Tried Saxenda then Ozempic for a few years, thought they were wonderful but the weight goes back on as soon as you stop the injections and they have worrying side effects.

My BMI was 39 so too low to be referred to tier 4 weight management on the NHS. Last year I started getting problems related to obesity and I thought realistically what will change before I am 50?

In December I paid privately (UK) for a RNY bypass. Best thing I have ever done I am down 4 stone. My surgeon and team are fantastic and provide 2 years aftercare and monthly support meetings.

Avoid sugar .It is very very difficult the first week as it is like going cold turkey from an addictive drug .
Eat nuts ,flavoured with anything savoury but no honey roasted or coated .
Eggs and tuna ,cheese prawns ,chicken .mayonnaise,butter andl lean steak .Salad and veg .olives
Eat as much as you like ,don't count calories just eat until you are full ..this is just a transition /reset phase .
No sugary drinks ,diet if it gets you through ,drink water ,tea and coffee ,almond milk if possible .
No alcohol for as long as you can manage -I went 12 weeks with no alcohol.
I promise after a week to ten days ,the noise in your head about food will subside and you will self regulate ,when your blood sugar is not spiking up and down wildly .
I have lost just under 4 stone and my DH 5 stone .(and he reversed type 2diabetes )

Thank you for all of your replies. I definitely feel like the mindset thing is a huge factor. I know exactly what I need to do to lose weight and I can do it for a few weeks but it never lasts. I just calculated my bmi and its 44. I'm literally killing myself but still I know tomorrow I will get up with the best intentions of fueling my body with good food and i'll self sabotage at some point.
It's a vicious cycle of trying to fix it and hating myself for being unable to.

I don't drink so alcohol isn't an issue but carbs, sugar and gorging are. I feel absolutely disgusted with myself.

I'm genuinely considering weight loss surgery. I took my toddler to a farm today. I was just about able to keep up with him but I could really play with him. I lost a parent at a young age (to cancer) and it petrifies me that my kids could experience the same. But I still can't escape this pattern.
I'd like to enjoy a summer without hiding my body in leggings and melting in the heat. My legs are hideous. They're so fat I look like I have lipedema.

Did you book the blood tests?

I think you are focusing so much on the self sabotage aspect and forgetting it all starts with a tiny step towards caring for yourself and investigating these You aren't hideous, you arent greedy you aren't a failure you are your toddlers world and you are important.
Stop thinking about the problem as a impossible boulder. There are no quick fixes but today is the beginning. Get out a tiny chisel. As Dumas says in the Count of Monte Cristo "Wait and Hope" are the most important words. In a years time you could be happier stronger healthier not necessarily perfectly slim but with a different view of yourself.

I'm waiting for a call back from my gp re the bloods.

I will try to make some small positive changes, but I know realistically anything positive I do has an expiry date on it.

Agree with this. I have 9 stones to loose. Been on It for 6 weeks now and down over a stone.

You may also be trying too strict a diet at first. So maybe calorie counting is a mistake as it reminds you you've failed or is tempting to use calories on bad foods like chocolate

The binging is a primal need, your body cells/brain is physiologically craving fat and sugar if it isn't getting enough calories. It's telling you you are starving find food now. But if you took away the sugar and choc and white carbs rice potatoes white pasta, and had big meals with slow release carbs loads of veg oil even, and apple and raspberry crumble with oats and greek yoghurt you might find the weight started falling off, just because you were in deficit from the previous intake of choc/cake sugar.

But your body wouldnt be craving more. And the slow release energy levels would enable you to move more, and that would cheer you up.
And if you feel in need of comfort is there something else you could treat yourself with books films a new outfit for toddler flowers card fir a friend, company, the list is endless. You deserve these good things. Food doesn't deserve you.

One square of chocolate or piece of toast as a snack rather than part of a MEAL and I'm hooked on carbs. It's a physiological thing. It's not your fault any more than it's our "fault"for pulling out hand away from a hot surface. Your brain everyone s brain is wired for feast famine.

Also think of all the positive things you can do in your life that don't have an expiry date in them. Presumably you can drive, love your child, read and write. Those things havent run out of steam. Why should this, necessarily??? (Disclaimer I am terrible at driving and fear it, I feel the same way as you might do about losing weight...it feels impossible, yet people tell me to stick with it...it will improve...one almost hides behind the armour of these negative thoughts...yet you are managing THOSE things that others can't)

Are you physically active at the moment? If not then I would start by walking. Work on building up the length and pace of your walks.

I find that the more active I am, the more I want to feed myself healthy food. Nurturing my body through exercise helps me to want to nurture it through healthy food.

Diets often feel as though they’re about restriction and punishment rather than showing your body kindness. I think it’s so hard to stick something if you’re feeling down on yourself. Try to start making small, realistic changes to your lifestyle and build up from there. Be proud of yourself for investing in your health and don’t beat yourself up if you have a day where things don’t go so well- tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start.

Hi OP I feel the same, my BMI is 37 and I am short so just look round! I can't afford the weight loss drugs and worry about side effects too. I would not have surgery as have had lots of bowel surgery for other reasons and drs say no more allowed due to adhesions anyway (internal scar tissue)

I'm on some meds which might be making it worse, and last couple of years has shingles which just left me really tired and in bed for days, but I used to go swimming / walking etc. Also I have no need to do the school run (big hill) as DCs are in secondary / left. I really think that has made a difference.

I'm struggling to get back into it, just considering a gym membership which has a nice pool (already have one for the local sports centre which is cheaper but not as tempting) but unsure and it will be an extra £45 a month more, I am just going to try ringing them and trying it for a month perhaps and going from there. It sounds silly but there pool is nice and quiet and the other one has school groups in through the day and not as peaceful.

I think I am just going to try eating a bit more healthy, not restricting too much (as with me that just leads to bingeing on something later) and getting more active to start with. The GPs did tests and all is ok and e.g. blood sugars / HBA!C suprisingly good, cholesterol is a little raised though and BP so want to try and work on those. Kind thoughts and best wishes.