I genuinely can’t stop eating bad food

[ginormatron]

I know this will get a lot of criticism as I’ve seen many topics on MN.
I have a toddler and have struggled with my eating since his birth. I used to be so good with willpower, but I now don’t have any. I see good in the cupboard and I end up eating it. I am at my heaviest and I can’t seem to stick to anything for longer than a day before I sabotage it. Even simple things like drinking more water and not drinking wine or having pudding. I can get to 7pm and not drunk any water or eaten any fruit or veg and I’m ashamed of it.
I had a c section and have developed an apron stomach. I hate what I look like and don’t exercise. I know I should, but I have hardly any time to myself as work full time and DH works away a lot. I thought that seeing my ever bigger reflection and body would spur me on but it just hasn’t.
I am not after many quick fixes but simple things I can do, meal plans to stick to and ways of improving my willpower…

My advice would be to stop buying crap in, so it's not in your cupboards.

There isn't actually any such thing as bad food. Everything is fine in moderation.

I would suggest looking at a free 14 day trial with Noom to give you some ideas. Food logging really makes you think about what you're putting in your body.

It's not easy at all OP, you have my sympathy. Honestly I don't even think it's about willpower. If you have foods/drinks in your cupboard/fridge that aren't healthy ones, maybe it's time to stop buying those and so then you can't just snack on them whenever you want. I would avoid alcohol, puddings and highly processed foods. If you don't have them in the house you can't eat/drink them!

I disagree with the PP, there are definitely 'bad' foods, i.e. those that are ultra processed or full of sugar/salt, are refined and high carb with not much in the way of nutrients. Those should be avoided at all costs. The Mediterranean diet is a good starting place for a balanced, healthy diet.

From now on in the morning before you do anything at all, anything(!) you have a glass of water and an apple/ some grapes/ some chopped up pineapple (whatever fruit you actually like).

Go from there and start by just halfing whatever crap you eat and adding a tiny bit of veg/something good for you.

I lost a stone (and a bit;)) by cutting fizzy drinks/ crisps down to one day a week, cutting white bread down to two slices a day (beans on toast at lunchtime)/ only eating a small bowl of cereal (used to eat 2/3 bowls a day

and not eating after 8 (soooooooo difficult- sat on hands, started knitting, went to bed early- the lot!!!)
If you do feel the need to then frozen grapes or frozen yoghurt takes so long to eat so you’re not stuffing food into your mouth!!!!

After two weeks it starts getting easier.

One step at a time (it is a long slow process but some day you’ll find that suddenly things fit better!) and if you have an off day/ moment just remember you can make it up the next day and you’ve eaten less than you usually do!!

excercise wise just started walking more

best of luck op

That sounds really hard. I don’t really have any concrete advice except what PP have said - just avoid having any food in the house which is unhelpful. If your cupboards only have healthy food, then that’s what you’ll eat. That goes for drinks too - clear out the drinks cupboard so there’s no choice except water, tea or coffee.

But more importantly: don’t beat yourself up. You have a toddler and a full time job! Your body created a brand new human being! You’ve kept him alive and also held down a job to put food on the table. Your life is very full and you’re clearly doing exceptionally well. So what if your body doesn’t look like it did pre-baby. There will be time to get in shape if that’s what you want to do. Life will get easier as your child gets older. For the moment, I would just congratulate yourself on everything you’ve achieved in the last few years.

You can do this! One day at a time, one meal at a time..

My advice today is to rid the cupboards of junk if possible (it’s actually hard to do in multi adult homes but your toddler won’t know) and prepare food to take to work or to have at breaks if you wfh (easy stuff like porridge for one with fruit or weetabix, or tuna salad). Also be realistic and take snacks like rice cakes or a Ryvita with Hummus or nut butter.

Focus firstly on how you feel and then worry about the weight. Expect small incremental weight loss rather a lot quickly.

If you are going out, make a mindful note that you will be off plan and will enjoy it as a treat. Then straight back onto the eating healthy plan the next day.

Joining a Mumsnet or similar weight loss circle (friends?) also helps. Good luck!

It's like an alcoholic who wants to stop drinking but keeps buying booze and is surrounded by bottles of wine. It's not going to happen.

There is no reason to buy crap in the first place and if you're buying it for your kid - why? Do you want them to end up fat and unhappy and addicted to crap too?

Stop buying it. Bag up the crap and bin it.

You can do it op but you have to start with the basics

Don’t be ashamed, having a baby and then looking after a toddler is an huge change for a woman. Your priorities change and a lot of us gain weight just grabbing food when we can, usually things like toast which don’t satisfy.

Agreeing with everyone regarding don’t buy it in the first place. Get into the habit of meal planning and writing a shopping list. Doing it the first time is hard but after that it’s a doddle. Have nutritious food to keep your energy up. Maybe change gradually, week one is no biscuits/cake/chocolate/crisps or whatever your worst eating habit is. Weigh yourself or take a waist measurement, dig out your favourite jeans to fit back into. Keep a food diary or use a food tracking app. Whatever gets you inspired. Set a goal. Try to see it as a positive thing and not a horrible task.

Small changes do start to make a difference.

I used to be able to trough through a 6 pack of crisps in an evening without really thinking about it and some cheese and biscuits.

I've stopped doing that, started walking more, putting more veg on my plate and I've lost a stone....I suspect the next bit will be harder, but I know I can do it.

Buy veg and fruit so it's in the house.

it is really hard. My advice is don't buy that food, plan everything, and also see your toddler as a motivation to eat well, I hope you are giving them healthy meals and snacks, so surely you can plan healthy meals for everyone to eat the same thing. Plan healthy snacks for yourself and eat them before you feel ravenous. What about one of those water bottles that shows you how much to drink by a certain time? Prepare a load of fruit and veg so you can snack on it immediately, i.e, cut up fruit, carrot, celery, cucumber - mix in with other things like cubes of cheese or cooked chicken to get protein, or nuts and dried fruit. I take a box of this sort of thing to work, and I make myself eat from it before buying any snacks, it works most of the time! don't have wine or pudding in the house. Even if your DH is away, you could do an exercise video on YouTube once toddler is asleep? Even a fast walk with them in the buggy is good.

AS many have said already, don't buy the crap.
But also, go easy on yourself a lot of this stuff is made to be addictive so it is very hard to resist.
Take a look at it from the other side, don't focus on what not to eat, but on what to eat. Watch Georgia Ede on YouTube, she sets out the kind of foods you need to have a healthy a brain, which is a pretty good place to start.

Just to say I was considering posting something similar myself today.

c section and apron stomach - tick
hating the way I look - tick
tiny children so just so bloody knackered & I eat what I can to keep going - tick

I do exercise (I have a running buggy so I can take a child!) and cook from scratch but it makes no difference to my huuuuuge tummy. I fall down with sweet things and eating too many of them - people say don’t have them in the house, but I let my DD have Nutella on her pancakes on the weekend and if this is the only sweet thing in the house I will eat it straight out the jar with a spoon 🤷‍♀️ I will literally find sugar anywhere.

I think I am an emotional eater and will deal with stress with junk - and kids are stressful! I also think being sleep deprived - which I am - mean willpower for food is just shot.

I’ve tried calorie counting but if I have a bad day I throw it all in the bin instead of getting back on the wagon.

sorry as this is no help - just saying, solidarity! It sucks. Be kind to yourself.

i am going to try to add one positive habit a week, starting today with water. Next week will try calorie counting again. Good luck xx