Turning to chocolate when stressed with toddler

[Allthechocolateandaglassofmilk]

Or cakes. Or ice cream.

If I have a particularly difficult day with my toddler I just want to demolish a share bag of chocolate after I put him to bed. Other mums I know with kids the same age have a drink but I'm not a drinker. I wish I was because I reckon a glass of something a couple of times a week wouldn't be as bad as all the chocolate I'm scoffing 😬

I need more willpower. What do others do when they've had a rough day?

I have a baby and toddler and am struggling with my relationship with their father. So I am eating full tubs of B&J when they're in bed at least once a week. It's awful. I can't afford therapy. We're in couples counselling but honestly what I really need is to invest in myself.

Can you afford therapy? Can you do some problem solving and work out the stress points?

That sounds really tough. If it wasn't so bad for our health I would say bollocks to it, you deserve to scoff all the ice cream!

Under normal circumstances I could afford therapy but right now we've just bought a house and we're doing renovations so nothing to spare- except for chocolate obviously! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I need to break the cycle as it's becoming a way of relieving stress now.

I don’t have a toddler anymore but I do have a stressful job. To be honest I don’t buy any of this food stuff at all and if I am feeling stressed I go for a walk, busy myself with a chore, read a book or go to bed early. I also eat a really big evening meal so I am full up

I think I just need to stop buying it in too. My husband is really sweet and will nip to the shop of an evening for me and pick up some chocolate. He'll stop if I say so but it's all on me.

I already eat a big dinner too! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I'll need to find ways to busy myself. When I'm so tired I just want to watch some telly and eat chocolate.

I don’t have a toddler either but my work is high pressure and stressful.
I don’t have sweets at home. I’m an ex chain-smoker and guess what - I don’t have cigarettes at home either.

I do yoga after a stressful day, go out for a short walk or a run, knit or read. If husband is sweet he can take care of the toddler while you do your yoga/walk. If your kids are in bed already you definitely have time for some me time.

Overeating chocolate is not necessarily something you would look back upon fondly when on death bed, right?

it was my coping mechanism too OP . I now have teens and old habits die hard ! I also now have high cholesterol despite not falling into any of the risk categories .

Trying to cut down by buying a good quality bar and just having a couple of squares - which kind of works as it’s stronger . Also trying to limit myself to a Friday treat

@CortieTat thats a bit patronising. Plenty of women say work is a break from kids and infinitely easier, so being tired from work is a completely different type of being tired compared to being with a toddler.

that being said, @Allthechocolateandaglassofmilk , what worked for me was sitting down with one treat and saying I wouldn’t get up again. After that treat, I brushed my teeth and did my nails or something to distract myself; I don’t have the energy at the end of the day for yoga or running, no matter how good I know it is for me. If you do though, maybe try an at home video?

tbh it was all about survival for me at that age.

I know what you mean. When my autistic DC were young, I often wished I liked alcohol, and turned to the icecream or chocolate.
Now I find reading Mumsnet quite good. Reading about people having a worse time, can make my situation not feel so bad !

It doesn’t matter IMO what kind of stress it is, what matters is that food/drink/cigarettes are treated as rewards, something to nurture our bodies and souls after a hard day.

What I’m suggesting is that it’s possible to replace these types of rewards with healthier ones.

@CortieTat

I have zero interest in yoga, running or knitting. I work 3 days a week in a highly skilled and stressful job. The other 4 I am out cycling or hiking with a madly active toddler. At the moment I'm taking majority of the responsibility with toddler as my husband is currently renovating the house when he's not working.

Toddler goes to bed at 6 so I have 4-5 hours in the evening to relax but I turn to chocolate because a) I love it b) it's become a habit as part of unwinding with a movie or tv show. After a long day of work or a day of being on the go non stop with my son, I'm not about to go for a run.

@Choresavoidance

Love your username! I'll have to try your idea of buying more quality chocolate and having less of it less frequently.

I love chocolate too but I had to change my routine. I don’t really watch TV anymore. I unwind in other ways that I do enjoy.

The thing is the habits go hand in hand. You will always want to snack on chocolate if you sit down to watch TV every single night after a long day as you will tell yourself you need a reward and to unwind and even with nicer chocolate, it will be hard to stop because it’s become a habit cycle. It is like when I smoked and I would have habitual rituals around when I would smoke. These are triggers. So to break a habit, you have to break the triggers really. And I have had experience also of breaking both of those things, the PP advice wasn’t wrong. I’m afraid that is kind of what it takes

@Allthechocolateandaglassofmilk I have a toddler (and a job! and older kids) too so I get it. They’re utterly exhausting and hats off to anyone who can be arsed to go for a run once they’re in bed. The things I find help me are… be strong and don’t buy the chocolate / massive share bags etc, instead I have a low calorie ice lolly if I fancy something sweet. 30 something calories instead of hundreds and I feel like the craving is kind of satisfied after. Or I have a hot chocolate drink which is like 100 calories or something. Better than demolishing a large bag of malteasers!

Other options… start intermittent fasting so you have a cut off for eating in the evening and once you’ve reached that time you don’t eat anymore. Sometimes that helps me mentally shut off the thought of snacks. If all else fails, brush your teeth!

Also, if you can stop for a week you’ll find the cravings lessen a lot. You won’t think about it as much after a few days. Just don’t have it in the house and tell your husband not to buy you any!

I haven’t found a magic trick that stops people from eating chocolate, so I shared what helped me.

I’m not a big fan of chocolate but I love winegums and the idea of spending an evening eating a whole bag of winegums is very appealing to me and definitely doable. I choose not to because I managed to replace this habit with some other habits.

Allow yourself to do it 2.or 3 set days a week only. You still get to look forward to it, it's just the wait is longer. Make little snack pots of nuts and seeds for the other days so they are easy to grab and no decision making needed. Once that routine is established you can try pushing it to a one day a week treat and leave it at that (I couldn't imagine cutting it out completely!).