Hi all,
I'm not sure what i want from this, just a place to put it all out there I suppose.
I've always struggled with my weight since I can remember, growing up as a teen I was always the "fat friend" and I spent most of my late teens/early twenties trying every "diet" in the book and just ended up gaining more weight than I lost.
It's like a constant battle in my head of why can't I just think normally around food?! I always think ahead of events and stress about how much weight that'll make me gain! for example, if I know we're away for a night, I already panic about what food I'm going to eat and how it's going to make me gain weight. But then I don't bother making a conscious effort to eat healthy when I'm out or away!
I am constantly thinking about food/how much weight I need to lose! But then I don't do anything about it! I've tried intermittent fasting but then I just find myself staring at the clock until I can eat in the afternoon, I've tried "mindful eating" but then I find myself constantly stressing about how many calories I'm eating.
I lost a good couple of stone a while back but that was on a strict 1,200 calorie diet with 5 days a week in the gym! Which for one, is completely unsustainable and 2 I can't go to the gym now as I have DS so I'm currently attempting to get workouts in at home where I can.
I'm currently back to trying to count calories but it's like a switch in my brain that then doesn't think about what I'm eating as long as the numbers are right.
I'm beyond stressed out with it all now, and also trying to be a good role model for DS. But I'm fed up of constantly being in this battle in my mind or scoffing my face and feeling crappy about it after. I've got at least 4 stone to lose so I feel like I'm creeping past the point of no return 😔
Any tips or advice would be much appreciated. If you managed to get this far!!