Overwhelmed with the task of losing 6 stone

[PurpleBerryDancer]

I am so upset with myself. The realisation of how much weight I need to lose and how long it will take is sinking in. I can't believe I've let myself get into this state. I need to lose 6 stone. I'm unrecognisable from who I feel I really am. I'm energetic, I love outdoors, I love being active. But I'm not, I'm a fat potato couch who is too heavy to join in properly.
I'm worried that I'll have loose skin. But unless wearing skimpy clothes I'm hopeful I'll be able to cover that up.
I have bulging discs in my lower back. I know that exercise will help strengthen me but I have chronic pain and I'm so uncomfortable.
Also, my partner and I want to try for another child. Being so overweight it's probably sensible to lose some weight first but the timings for a 2nd child are as right as they can be now. Also I'm worried about how I'll feel about losing weight and then getting larger again due to pregnancy.
Sorry, this is a big post but I'm just feeling so so upset 😭

Its not 6 stone.

Its one pound. Just one

Then the next one,,, then the next, then the next (you get the picture!)

Tying it in to having another child is far too much pressure. You need to be fit and well for yourself and your current child first.

Try breaking your goal into much smaller ones. Lost 10% of your body weight for instance. Get 7k steps everyday for the rest of the month, work up to 10 full press ups etc. Try and enjoy the process and hitting these smaller goals.

Too big to contemplate. All the weight loss research says to try to lose a little bit & also adopt healthier habits. Repeat.

I self-referred to the local nhs dietitians & they had a really good support programme.

Really do get some support. It does help.

Oh OP, I feel for you. I’ve started this year having 7 stone to lose, I’ve lost 2 so far and I already feel so much healthier, things are easier and the pain on my joints is a lot less.
I know it seems overwhelming but take it a step at a time, the best approach in my opinion is to focus on small goals, maybe half stones and really try and notice the health benefits of what you are achieving.
I have been a healthy weight when I was pregnant with my first and very overweight with my last. My last pregnancy was very hard, if time is on your side I would really try and lose some weight first. Maybe you could put all your focus into your health and weight loss for the rest of this year? You are bound to be in a much better position then but it gives you a time frame rather than focussing on what you have to lose?
Sending positive thoughts, you can do this!

Agree with all of the above - I've got 3 stone to lose (4 really, but I'd be happy with three 😁).
Started mid March and have lost 9lb so far.
I'm measuring my success in half stone increments as that loss comes quicker and is then a realistic target achievement.
Good luck.

You mention exercise but weight loss is almost entirely diet. What's your diet?

@MotherofGorgons exercise will help my back pain. Strengthening my muscles will help support my bulging discs. Pre child I played a team sport, being fat isn't great for that. Exercise brings endorphins and makes you feel good. But yes, weight loss is mostly down to diet. My diet doesn't involve enough fruit and veg and has too much treat food. I need to swap that around.

@IWFH that's great, well done!

@notasillysausage 2 stone already is amazing. Yes, perhaps you're right in delaying pregnancy for the year. Age wise time appears to be on my side (I'm 35) but my child is 4 and who knows if conceiving will be difficult, fat or not. I can't imagine being this weight and then carrying pregnancy weight as well!

@Coldupnorth87 I've just sent a message to my local NHS healthy and active program to see when the next one starts. Thank you for the suggestion 🙂

@ovals and @soupfiend you're both right, splitting it into smaller chunks is better. But I struggle with that. I've always struggled with setting mini goals, in general not just weight loss. Because I know that's only part way, not the whole goal! Silly I know but my brain is difficult 😂.

SW - 15 stone
GW - 9 stone

1st goal - lose X lb before end of May (not sure how much)
2nd goal - lose 10% of weight (13.5 stone)
3rd goal - pre baby weight (12.5 stone)
4th goal - 10.5 stone - I look quite good at this weight. No longer look or feel hugely fat. In the overweight BMI category (26.8)
5th goal - one more 9.5 stone
6th goal - 9 stone!

Do these seem like good mini goals?

Break it down. A friend had to lose 3 stone for an operation and she looked at it as half a stone. Once she achieved that it was another half a stone.

It is hard work but you can do it.

Why not add some non weight loss mini goals too. Focus on what you can achieve as well as what you can lose. I’m trying to work up to a 3 minute plank at the moment.

It's scary as hell when you get to that place and you realise how far away you are from the person you want to be. I piled weight on after my middle child was diagnosed with her genetic deletion and the realisation we had to live a totally different lift to which we expected I went from 12 stone so already overweight to 18st 10 over a three year period. Trying to get upstairs without having to rest was the day I decided I needed to change. I started Jan 2021 and decided it needed to be a slow process, I'm an emotional eater our life is chronically stressful, I'm currently 14st 1, I use nutracheck I've only set it to 1lb a week loss I don't always achieve it (I had a baby also in this time who is now 1) I'm getting there I can move and keep up with my children. I realistically think it will take me another 2years to be in a healthy bmi which I haven't been in since childhood! I don't stress any longer about food, I've not cut anything out at all though very rarely have alcohol due to having to be able to sort out my child's care needs 24/7. I do have loose skin even though I've lost slowly ill probably just have to tuck it in my knickers for the rest of my life it does make me sad but my priority has to be my health for my children as 2 out of 3 will never be independent. Small steps for me is the only way I could add it in to my daily head space.

NSV - non scale victories

Getting up and down out of the sofa without it being onerous
Getting up and down the stairs easily
Tightening up the seat belt
Getting out of the car in smaller spaces
Getting in and out of the bath more easily
Touching toes
Doing a plank as suggested (bit hard core for me to be honest)
Easier to do housework

Theres tons more but these are the first noticable ones.

I have loads of target, yes there is ultimate 'END GOAL' but before that there's 7lb lost, 14lb lost, 10% bodyweight lost, Fit into size 16 Next jeans....

I'm 1 lb off of hitting my first BIG goal, which is to move from Obese to Overweight BMI.

I am visually motivated so I have a spreadsheet with big bright colours and I take photos at the beginning of each month so I can see the differences in face, arms, legs, stomach, back.

Find a way that works for you to break down and celebrate your achievements. You'll be working on weight loss for a long time, it's not a short term project so you need to make sure you have ways to keep yourself going.

Wow, thats a great spreadsheet, did you make that yourself? Im rubbish on excel, I get a cold sweat when someone sends me one on email!

Is 9st a healthy and achievable goal? I'm quite tall and my bottom end healthy bmi is just under 10st but as soon as I get to 10.5 I look very bony and people start asking if I'm unwell. So I aim for 11 and I look healthy and am in a comfortable size ten at that weight.

Post DS I was 17 stone 2. I'm not quite back to eleven stone yet but I'm under twelve. I feel fantastic. I agree use an app to track calories, exercise and weight loss, if you have a lapse it's just that, a blip, carry on don't get into the fuck it mindset.

Celebrate the small wins, for me going to a theme park without worrying or making excuses not to go on rides in case I didn't fit, fitting comfortably in a plane seat again, being able to chase after ds up the beach without getting too puffed out. I do 3-4 gym classes a week now and feel absolutely fine after, I sleep better, I drink more water, my skin is better, I enjoy buying new clothes again. I started with aqua fit classes or seems counter intuitive because you probably don't want to wear a swimsuit but they are usually mainly women, a few older men, all ages shapes and sizes. Deep aqua in particular is good if you have back or joint issues (DS destroyed my pelvis) and once you get your fitness up and lose some weight you might want to start dry classes and gym etc too

@FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain your spreadsheet is amazing

My goal is to get back to my wedding weight (which is 11 stone - just in the healthy range).

I started at 16 stone 12 last November, currently 14 stone. So I’m close to a 3 stone loss 😊. Haven’t been this weight since having my 2 children.

Next target is 13 stone which will put me at overweight.

I tend to think of it as 7lb a month is my rough aim.

I play netball twice a week and love it. I’m definitely finding it easier with less weight to carry around!

Double posted.

Double posted

lol stress will make you gain even more mass smoke some cigarettes and stare at the night sky until you're relaxed enough to go for a run

How long did your referral take?I was referred last October & still heard nothing?

@soupfiend thank you so much, that is a really great list of goals.
@FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain that is an amazing spreadsheet! I'm going to try to create something like that myself. I love it!

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira yes 9st is definitely achievable. In my 20s I was 8st 3lb. I am 5ft 2. I wasn't overly slim, I had a good amount of muscle. I had a very active lifestyle though and I'm 35 now and after one child I'm adding on a stone to be reasonable lol. If I want to be higher or lower I'll adjust it. Not too fixed on a number but that's a good aim for now.
Aqua classes are a good idea, I'll see what id available at a time I can make. I've got a swim session booked from Tuesday evening too.

DietBet app has been great motivation for me. You win money everytime you lose weight 😄

@April88 that's an amazing achievement! I play hockey (season has ended) and I'd definitely like to be able to run about better by September

@rahoolio yes, stress can cause weight issues and I've definitely had a lot of that. Extremely stressful family event that turned our lives upside down. But smoking is not going to help 🤔

@Mayflower282 going to check that out haha