Am I being selfish using inheritance to pay for weight loss injections?

[DDisnotnormal]

I need to lose around 8 stones for my mental and physical health. I'm utterly miserable being the size that I am, and it's starting to affect my physical health (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, NAFLD, high risk of diabetes because of family link). I want to try weight loss injections, but I don't feel comfortable ordering them online. I want to be monitored and see someone face to face because I have health anxiety. I'm a widowed parent so I'm very conscious that I'm all my children have which is the main reason I want to do something about my weight. I'm thinking about paying for a private GP service for a year. I can just about afford this due to some death in service money I received after my partner died but I feel selfish using that money on myself instead of our children. I have nobody to discuss this with because my family will say I'm wasting money and I just need to eat less and move more!!! I know this is basically what I need to do but I've got myself into such a horrible place mentally that this hasn't worked for me. I'm obsessed with food and feel hungry all the time so I think the injections could help. Am I being selfish or is it worth the investment in myself?x

I think it's a good idea alongside some counselling/therapy to get to the root of your original weight gain. It will benefit your DC because you'll be happier and healthier both physically and mentally.

I'm thinking of doing something similar. And it's not something I'm going to discuss with anyone irl - apart from doctor obviously - until after I've started and had some noticeable results.

Best of luck with your plan. It really is wonderful to have this option.

You don’t need a private GP to order these. How much are you expecting to pay? Can you afford £200 or so a month? As that is around the cost
No it’s not selfish. It’s your health. Your children need you x

sorry I see you have health anxiety
I would invest in therapy I agree

It's not selfish. It sounds important for your health. Have you considered in conjunction with this though maybe paying for some online coaching for weight loss and fitness. This will be especially useful when you finish the medication and will help you feel better while you're doing it, I think.

Feeling obsessed with food, hungry all the time and at risk of T2 diabetes sounds like me a few years ago as we emerged from Covid. I had been using food as really my only means of feeling good and being entertained.

I expect that you feel you have tried everything. Just in case, let me tell you the two things that helped me, they worked well together.

Gillian Riley's programme https://eatingless.com in n conjunction with Mumsnet own's low carb bootcamp. The provide a lot of support and work together to support you changing your approach to food.

It can be that it's the process of changing that approach that gets you out of the negative spiral. Hope you find what works for you. It is so worth it to feel good about your food and lifestyle choices.

Hope you find what works for you.

I’ve a similar amount to lose and also feel guilty about spending family money on a solution - out of interest how does the support of a private GP work, how do you find one and how much is it?

i say go for it - live is so much easier and more fun being slim 🙁

I think this will be unpopular but you'll need therapy not injections.

Not selfish...

But, what will you do when you need to come off the injections? Do you have the mental willpower to maintain the weight loss?

I'm thinking about using a service called My GP. I was ringing around pharmacies this morning to see if any did face to face consultations for weight loss injections and one recommend them. I've not looked into it properly yet but I think it will cost £120 a month for membership then they said the injections are around £105 to £120 per month. Its not that much more than getting them online but they will do a new patient check on me which includes full blood tests before anything is prescribed and I will be monitored whilst I'm taking it. I will also be able to use them instead of my nhs gp but I'll get a 30 minute consultation and same day appointments if needed!x

Agree with this. By all means pay for the jabs but you don't need a GP as well. I'd use that money for CBT for health anxiety to get the best use out of the money. It'll be just a money making exercise for the GPs at the weight loss clinic. All they'll say is that if you get side effects you should stop or reduce dose and you can work that out on your own. They might offer blood tests but again you could just get those yourself from a company like medichecks

I tried some DBT with a psychologist last year and it was helpful but I'm literally obsessed with my weight and food so until I get rid of some of the extra weight I don't think any kind of therapy will help. The food noise is just too much!! I have a lot of unresolved trauma from childhood and my partners death so I know I will need some therapy in the future x

@DDisnotnormal but the injections won't do anything but mask the problem?

Life isn’t more fun slim as a blanket rule. I don’t think that’s the way to look at it. Prioritising your health is important. I have lost weight but most of my life is exactly the same as it once was, just that I now have better health and fitness and I have done a lot of work on myself mentally - therapy and work with myself to improve my own life.

A lot of people on this forum do not like or agree with link between poor mental health and issues with food but sometimes that is the link that needs to be tackled

I think I will need to start some form of therapy if I did lose the weight. The food noise is just too much for me to concentrate on therapy at the moment x

Which weight loss injections are you thinking of?

Do the injections. I’ve done bloody everything and only with the food noise cut am I successful. It’s revelatory to not have the constant obsession. Therapy can come after. Were all friendly and lovely on the Mounjaro thread and we get it.

The private GP I'm thinking of using said they are mostly prescribing Mounjaro at the moment so probably that one x

Have you got a weight loss service your Gp can refer to_ I don’t mean slimming world but one where they can prescribe injections? Is bariatric surgery an option?
I think your presence and health is important and it’s not always as simple as move more eat less. I would go and have a chat with your own Gp first and see what they can recommend or refer to. It might give you more options . Good luck.

I think it's a great idea. If you were paying 10s of 1000s I would be advising against it but it looks like it's only a couple of grand for a year which will be well worth it. Id happily pay 2/3k to be several stone slimmer.

I think there’s two questions here OP:

Is it selfish to use the money on yourself? Assuming your children have their needs met, then no. Being very frank, taking steps to improve your health lessens the chance of them losing two parents instead of one.

Are weight loss injections the way to lose weight? Possibly. I’m on one, I’m definitely not anti them. But they’re still not easy and they have lots of potential side effects. Make sure you’ve done your research.

And the “don’t pay, just eat less” crew can fuck off. If it was that easy there wouldn’t be an obesity epidemic.

I've got inattentive adhd and tried stimulant medication last year which switched the food noise off and it definitely helped!! I couldn't continue on the adhd medication though because my blood pressure was too high and it made me anxious when it was wearing off x

I don’t think it is selfish.

I was referred to tier 3 for bariatric surgery 2 years ago but my partner died just after I started so I didn't have the headspace to continue so I was removed from the list. I could ask to be referred again but I think it would be years before I got to the stage of getting medication. I think I've ruled out bariatric surgery now because I'm scared of complications or dying in surgery, it would also cost much more than injections x

Is bariatric surgery an option?

Sorry to be very blunt but that's not a route I believe would be wise to consider when there's a mortality risk and the children have already lost one parent.

OP, can your GP not offer the injections?

Have you considered starting your own accountability thread on here? There's so many that I get them confused but I've just been reading one today where the OP has come down out of the obese category through intermittent fasting.

It's not selfish to spend on your own wellbeing as you children will clearly benefit from it. But spend the money wisely by investing in an ADHD therapist whose maybe also a nutritionist and invest in a personal trainer. I can't imagine injections would work long term.

Just to add, I don't think anyone would call you selfish as we've all "been there", so to speak. Nevertheless these are very difficult times financially so I think the answer really depends on your own financial situation rather than a morality judgement.