Why are you overweight?

[Fantina]

I was slim and fit and active all through childhood and adolescence and went from 10 stones to 17 stones in about four years after the birth of my third child who didn’t sleep. I packed on the lbs through inhaling sugar and convenience food as I was exhausted and taking short cuts to save time and for an instant hit.

My third DC is now 8 so I can’t claim to still be in the new child fug of exhaustion. I now eat for emotional comfort but I’m interested in where others feel their weight gain came from.

Wine is a trigger for me.Stopped drinking so much wine and I can control my snacking habits. Used to open the wine then the crisps or nuts. Now I just open a bottle of something non alcoholic and I’m not snacking as much.

Why am I overweight?

I think people have the mistaken belief that overweight people just sit down and eat packets of biscuits all day.

Well, I don’t! I eat healthily. Most food from scratch, few takeaways and limited treats. And I am still overweight. So, why is that?

Age - post menopause and also having ME/CFS so can’t exercise. These two factors definitely affected my metabolism.

However though I eat mostly healthily - my portions are too big (I realised this doing Noom). Two glasses of wine some days doesn’t help.

So I have made a few changes and slowly lost a stone. However, I am still overweight by 10-20 lbs but my calorie intake is now so low (around 1200 -1400) I think there is a limit to how low I can go.

Something that is often overlooked and isn’t mentioned on here often: genetics and learned behaviours / beliefs from childhood.

my mum was overweight at various points in my childhood - or at least she claimed to be. But looking back at photos, she wasn’t at all! She yo-yo dieted at the time, bouncing between cabbage soup and Cambridge supplements, skipping meals. At the same time, she largely disliked vegetables and salad (this was not unusual in Scotland at that time, still isn’t) so we grew up eating a lot of processed food, a lot of cheap meat and carbs. I’ve overcome this largely as an adult, I love veggies and salads. But when things are stressful or I’m looking for an easy option, I revert to the familiar foods - potatoes every way, cheese on toast, mince and potatoes, oven teas, beans rather than an actual vegetable, oven chips, white bread, toast.

Also, i am exactly the same shape as her, always have been. I gain / lose weight exactly as she does. Tall, top-heavy ie big boobs, broad back, wide shoulders. She hated this: I have vivid memories of her grabbing her ‘back flab’ and scowling, saying how disgusting it was. So I’ve grown up disliking my body quite intensely. That’s hard to get over. She also was / is very critical of overweight women, while at the same time constantly bemoaning her own body shape.

and wine! She and my dad were classic functional drinkers: wine every night from 5pm, several whiskies before bedtime, every single night for decades. So yes, it’s ‘normal’ for me to drink every night. I don’t, but I easily could with no qualms.

so that’s why I am overweight: a genetic tendency to gain weight easily, dislike of my own body (making it hard to care for it) and poor eating / drinking habits instilled in childhood. These things are hard wired in, and it takes constant vigilance and a lot of hard work to change them. they are what lead me to make the choices I do; even though I know the choices I’m making are ‘bad’ ie unhealthy, they feel ‘right’ ie normal. I’m not blaming my mum - no doubt she has similar reasons for being the way she was.