Accept my weight at 60? I can’t eat less than I do?

[SolarDream]

Just this really. Anyone have a similar experience? Did you manage to make headway? Or just accept?

I’m 5 ft 6, large frame and weigh 12 st 12. I would love to lose a stone. I managed to lose a stone on Noom last year which was 🤩 to me - and I have kept it off too.

I’d love to lose another stone to get to 12 stone - I’d be very content with that. All my clothes would fit easily and look a bit better. However, I am not losing weight and don’t really see how I can lose any more without “starving” myself basically.

( I am also a bit limited exercise wise because of a chronic health issue and this probably does affect metabolism)

As an example, yesterday I ate:-

Late breakfast - slice of peanuts butter on toast

Dinner - bean burger, no bread, a very large salad and about 14 chips. A small strawberry yoghurt.

Also two glasses of wine and 3 teas with sugar.

Would you just accept things as they are?

I could get on board with meticulous calorie counting 🥱 to try and figure out what the issue is, I guess? But I’m pretty sure I’m generally under 1400 calories a day. Surely anything less is unrealistic?

Answers on a postcard …

I'm 66. I do the 16/8 plan. I break out and have treats now and then - big ones. I just take a walk most days but never watch my steps. When I feel I've done enough I leave it. No weights, no yoga, no pilates, no swimming. Don't drink never did. I have a zero calcium score on cardiac CT (no plaque in the arteries), no high BP,no high cholesterol, no arthritis or osteo penia/porosis (so far), no pre diabetes, and don't need glasses for anything. I am very very lucky. Knock on wood!

Ageism is a terrible thing, and is very prevalent on this site, but I persist and know that not all posters feel the same about life being over once you're over 50.

Anyway, I was in Southern Italy last year, you know the place where people live longest due to the Mediterranean diet, and the people were smiley, happy and many of them were quite rotund especially the women.

Now I know the sun and blue skies helps mood, but who says being slim is the be all and end all of life. OK keep an eye on things, watch for diabetes and cholesterol etc. But we could take a leaf out of the Med ladies and enjoy ourselves also. They live a long happy life, they drink their wine, they have their pasta, their veg, their fruit and their pastries and coffees too.

Each to their own. Sometimes there are too many rules about this and that.

@SolarDream ... I am 53 and have lost 32 pounds over a period of 13 months.
Only exercise was walking and light dumb bells in the evening. I Stick between 1300 and 1450 calories a day. Aim to lose 2lb a month. I see it not as a diet but as healthy eating for life. Intermittent fasting did not work for me.
Changes I made - increase protein / reduce alcohol and sugar / eat more unprocessed foods
Typical Meal
Breakfast Scrambled eggs ( no bread )
Lunch Ham and Egg Toastie ( brown bread ) and a protein yoghurt and apple or banana
Dinner Spag bol / Chicken, wedges and veg ( basically a normal dinner but portioned controlled....
Dessert - Apple / pineapple / honey greek yoghurt

No Alcohol except on a Saturday but actually found after a few months I did not want to drink alcohol so probably only have something once every two months.
No sugar in tea / coffee
No ice creams or sugary desserts

The protein keeps me full so I do not feel the need to snack anymore.....
So I am eating well but trying to eat more protein and less processed rubbish. The diet I used to do in my 30's wont work for me anymore due to menopause and I cannot lose weight as quickly so have a more realistic expectations and am looking and long term goals.
It can definitely be done....xx

You are into old age at 70 working professional or not.

I don’t think it’s fair to put a woman whom has a serious health condition that means she can’t exercise. So her only option is to starve herself. Why would you suggest she makes the last chapter of her life that miserable? For what purpose? It’s not ageism to accept our health limitations and embrace the joy that is available to us. If op has serious issues then it’s enough to not be depressed or sad, and to feel positive about her life and love her body regardless of what society conditions us to think.

I lived in the Mediterranean for nearly a decade and I can tell you the Greek, Italian and Spanish elders are round, overweight - their faces are beautiful highlighting a life very well lived, laughing and enjoying themselves not giving a bloody damn. That’s how I am ageing - I am ageing ‘well’ not ‘starved, emaciated and miserable!

Emaciated and miserable? You're making stuff up now🤣

Not really a conundrum, cut back on the wine.

No, not at all - my friend took weight loss injections and yes lost weight but looked awful and haggard. She looked much better when she was bigger!! She was extremely disappointed…

@Newchapterbeckons I've noticed this with someone who has just had a gastric bypass, she is literally shrinking every time I see her (twice a week) and looks great but she is now unhappy at how old she suddenly looks. She looks 15 years older. The weight was filling out the wrinkles and I think the speed of the loss has caused this

As the saying goes, there are no wrinkles on a balloon. Out of my old school friends, the slimiest looks the oldest.

Cut the wine and sugar. Switch flavoured Yoghurt for Greek yogurt with berries. Eat more vegetables, whole grains and protein - tofu, nuts, eggs, fish. You aren’t eating enough and it’s the wrong things. Think nourishment. Walk, do yoga.

@BlackBoxes interesting… I would say exactly the opposite.

I find that the people I know who have stayed slim look far better than those who’ve packed on the pounds. Being able to see bone structure is good. Seeing double chins and fat faces isn’t.

I've been mainly eating one meal a day since July for other reasons but haven't really lost anything bar a few pounds at the beginning.

I'm 54 and was slim my whole life until I hit peri and also started a medication notorious for weight gain.

Unfortunately I am one of the women who needs to choose between face and body! I always had a long face and when I was slim was always being asked if I was ill because my face was so drawn. It was depressing! I feared for how I would look as I got older if I looked that bad when young! But once I put on weight my face rounded out and I look so much healthier. However, I now have a big ass and stomach. But then I also now have boobs where I was previously flat chested. Swings and roundabouts!

I know 100% that if I lost weight it would age my face by at least a decade. And I'd feel worse about that than I do about the excess weight. So I'm focusing more on stamina and flexibility, long walks, yoga etc and not really worrying about the weight side of things.

@Newchapterbeckons its funny you mention italy, I had a similar experience in Spain. I was sitting in a rather fancy square where lots of well-off north Europeans were strolling. The women were all very tall and slim and well dressed but there was something a bit “strained” about them. Then I spotted a rather chubby Spanish grandmother all dressed in black as per the tradition sitting by a fountain happily and unselfconsciously playing with (I presume) her toddler grandson. So I understand where you’re coming from.

I haven’t really decided what I want to do. I shall make some more efforts to lose some weight, but after that “acceptance” as there not much more I can do that wouldn’t make my life miserable. Some of the comments have been a bit shouty. But there is also something of a debate which has been interesting, especially as regards age.

As regards “beauty” too it’s not quite clear cut. I met a woman last year in her 80s who was very slim and she just had a beautiful face with lovely bone structure; however she was also very ill. But equally too thin can make older women (and men) look drawn and tired. Some older bigger women look lovely with lovely faces full of life. So it seems to depend on the person as well.

Peace ✌️

Also @Quizine mentioned Italy in the same way - you both referred to the same thing and I got confused! Thanks.

Im doing my first marathon for my 60th birthday, Im so not ready to sit back and watch the world go by

OP, I have lost 2stone since last May. Its not been easy, we all know weight loss is harder post menopause. I had to lose weight, I was classed as obese, my cholesterol was very high, as was my BP. And I dont know about where you live, but here the NHS has collapsed and theres not much chance of getting medical help unless at deaths door so for me it has been my driving force, to get as fit and healthy as I can be moving towards my later years

for me its 1/2 or a 1lb a week loss and now I have lost, to keep losing ( Ive another 6lb to go,) Im down to 1400 calories and thats with me doing 5k every day - walking fast, not running :)

I do get to eat quite a lot and I certainly dont go without - Ive just had a tea cake, yesterday it was bacon rolls for lunch, - lots of foods that some people think we cant eat when losing weight :)

For me its been about eating enough. Pre weight loss, my diet was similar to yours and I would tell the world Id barely eaten a thing all day, but peanut butter , on buttered toast disappeared down my neck at an alarming rate. It was never one slice, lets be honest and admit to 4. And of course, hungry again not long after so maybe grab a sandwich and a pack of crisps to keep me going to dinner. And I was the original fruit and veg dodger so whilst Id do a nice roast dinner, Id only eat the meat and potatoes and a tiny portion of peas. Not enough to fill a tooth so back snacking later in the evening

So the bread is nearly off the menu, when I do eat it, its wholemeal and every meal I eat has a huge pile of fruit or veg with it. Even the bacon rolls are stuffed with lettuce and tomatoes. Basically now all meals are high protein and 90% of my carbs come from fruit and veg. I do eat pasta ( wholemeal ) rice ( brown ) and potatoes, just dont have mash , which I dont like so is no hardship. I eat a lot of potatoes chipped or made into wedges - air fried

Up until January I also drank. Had to give up the wine as I couldn't spare the calories so switched to spirits and slim. I do have wine now and again and dont worry about it, because it really is only occasional

Its not a "miserable existence " as some people will claim, Im a lot healthier and now more active because of it.and Im never hungry, never worrying that I cant eat this or that because I can and do. Im making more of my appearance , Im more confident, Im back enjoying life and. aim to till they hammer the nails home :)

Good luck OP, whatever you decide xx

That is not my experience. It can be very ageing. We lose volume in our faces it doesn’t look structured, but more gaunt and angular. The gentleness in particular is lost. A look of vitality is what we need to be aiming for.
cosmetic procedures can make someone look even older.

Weight loss aside, you could improve your long term health outlook by adding in whatever exercise works for you and tweaking your diet, swapping out some of the sugary/refined/processed foods for more wholesome options. You're not actually eating much at all, so what you do eat has to be nutritious!

I'm sure the daily menu you posted was just an example but here's some ideas:

breakfast - slice of peanuts butter on toast

• oats with a sprinkle of nuts and seeds

Dinner - bean burger, no bread, a very large salad and about 14 chips. A small strawberry yoghurt.

• actual beans/pulses with your salad. More protein e.g. boiled eggs, grilled fish. Whole grains to fill you up instead of chips.
• full fat Greek yoghurt with fresh or frozen berries

Also two glasses of wine and 3 teas with sugar.

• stick to 2 red wines a week max and try to wean yourself off the sugar, maybe swap to green or herbal teas if that helps

I can’t comment on your weight loss journey but your diet looks unhealthy and bad for you. If I ate like this I would be deficient in micronutrients.

Can you possibly think about eating better, losing weight aside? You will feel better in the long run eating healthier food.

Swapping the toast for either homemade porridge with seeds and nuts or quality bread (rye, wholemeal sourdough?)
Strawberry yogurt - can you eat plain greek yogurt? You can add berries and honey. This time of year it’s best to buy frozen berries and defrost them. They were collected during summer so are packed with nutrients, cheaper and also better for the environment.
Dinner - by saying salad, what do you actually eat? There are salads and leaves available this time of the year that have the taste and nutritional value equivalent to toilet paper. Can you swap the mystery salad for vegetables that are in season right now (carrot, cabbage, beetroot, onion, kale, various root vegetables) or frozen (broccoli, sprout beans, cauliflower)?

Your diet is full of empty carbs and not enough good stuff.

I've just listened to a Dr Michael Mosley podcast about reducing inflammation. It was enlightening and I recommend it whatever your age. A few key points -
Abdominal fat is the kind that does the damage.
Lifelong exercise will keep your biological age down, and it's never too late to start. You can begin with getting off the sofa every hour and doing something even if it's just making a cup of tea. Don't sit longer than an hour at a time.
A Mediterranean plus diet is the best kind. The plus is Mediterranean (olive oil, lean meat, oily fish, fruit and veg) plus berries and nuts. So it's not about starving yourself, it's about eating the right sort of food, although overeating obviously is not a good choice.
There was more but go listen to the podcast, it's on BBC sounds.

I agree on this. The idea not much can change is not correct, the diet has loads of scope for improvement

Plus exercise. I was listening to someone say best bet for brain health in older age is exercise, walking is good

ummm, it's perfectly possible to grow a range of tasty salad leaves, in the UK, all year round.....

(yes, this is actually part of my job)

@SolarDream I lost about two stone on Noom and then just stopped and it was honestly heartbreaking. My Fitbit regularly suggested I was burning 1000 more calories than I was consuming and I was trying to keep my calories below 1200 most days. I'm 54.
It was so hard never eating a biscuit or having an ice cream or a beer on a hot day. Avoiding most carbs, never eating a slice of pizza, avoiding roast potatoes and chips when the rest of the family were eating them.
I spoke to fitness people who just thought I was denying the calories I was eating, I went to the GP who did tests and found nothing. Never been so upset to learn I was healthy. He asked me couldn't I just be happy with me the way I am, but no, I'm not. I'm about your height /weight having gained a bit from last summer because I was just so disheartened that I stopped being so strict with myself and the weight piles on instantly if I don't really restrict.
It didn't make any sense to me because people always say the trick to weight loss is consuming less than you burn which I clearly was doing. So why wasn't it working for me? Soul destroying.
I'm just getting to a fortnight of the Human Being Diet and I've lost 10lb so far. It is restrictive in that there are some very clear rules to follow, but in some regards I'm eating more than I was on Noom. Definitely more protein than I was eating. The main difference I think for me is stopping grazing and having three clear meals a day with 5 hours between them to help the body better regulate the insulin response to carbs. Before, although my calories were low, I'd be grabbing small bites throughout the day.
So I am looking forward to keeping up with this and trying to lose that final stone, but it is quite strict so won't be for everyone.