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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Do you believe you have a 'set' weight?

27 replies

GlamMa · 23/01/2024 08:43

Throughout my 20s, until I had kids, I was always around 60kg. 60kg is a healthy weight for my height and means i can fit into all my clothes. After having kids (late 20s), I was very overweight (I had v severe morning sickness that felt better when I ate!) and was around 76kg after about a year or so post giving birth.

I then embarked on a combination of exercise and diet and got down to 64kg. To get from 64kg to 60kg was an absolute chore and even though I managed it, when I came off diet/exercise, I went straight back to 64kg and stayed there.

I had another push in my 40s in a quest to get my cholesterol down and get a bit more healthy and managed to get back to 60kg where I stayed for about 3 years. I've recently gone into perimenopause (I'm 51 this year), periods still regular etc. but definitely getting some symptoms and I'm back at 64kg and finding it hard to get anywhere near 60kg.

I know it's not much but it's the difference between me fitting into my clothes or not (as most of the weight is around my waist/boobs).

I genuinely believe I have a set weight that was around 60kg when I was younger and appears to have moved up to 64kg. Does anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
Twoshoesnewshoes · 23/01/2024 08:45

Yes, for me
i was eight and a half stone until i had my second child.
I settled again at nine stone two after my third. Im currently nine ten and want to get to nine two - it feels like cruise control if im
at that weight, easier to maintain.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/01/2024 09:14

No.

l just put weight on.

Seas164 · 23/01/2024 09:20

Yes, I feel the same, and it's gone up not down unfortunately. Hormones have a massive part to play in my weight.

Alloveragain3 · 23/01/2024 11:47

Yep.

Mine was 56kg for a good 2 decades and I did/ate whatever I liked.

2 kids later... not so much

EauNeu · 23/01/2024 11:50

Set weight is not real. If you were undereating you'd lose weight. If you were overeating you'd gain weight

I do think people habitually eat a certain amount and if that happens to match their calorie needs their weight is stable.

PiffPaffPof · 23/01/2024 11:51

Yes I have always been 11stone 7lbs but since getting older I have creeped up to 12.3. I really hate it but have to be so regulated with my food to loose any weight. I feel so much happier at the lower weight but just can’t get back there .

AllFunAndGamesUntilYoureRunningForTheLastTrain · 23/01/2024 11:59

No.
I used to, and used it as a justification of not being as svelt as I’d like, along with lots of other excuses.
In reality I was just eating too many calories.
Once I started logging everything on My Fitness Pal and actually sticking to a calorie target the weight came off.
I’m now lighter post menopause than I was in my 20’s, even though I’m now more sedentary.

genesis92 · 23/01/2024 11:59

Not really the answer you want, but I just wanted to say I also had the worst pregnancy sickness that meant I had to eat all the time just to settle my stomach

I also piled on weight. Everyone else I know who had sickness lost loads of weight, as one would expect. I've never met anyone before who had it the way round I did.

I feel cheated! 9 months post partum and I have such a lot way to go. I actually scared to get pregnant again

Menora · 23/01/2024 12:12

There is a set weight theory and it’s interesting but from experience your set weight is not anything magical it’s the weight you become when you eat a comfortable amount of calories meaning you aren’t too hungry and you aren’t over eating too much. But not enough to lose weight.

I have lost over 20kg with 10kg left to lose and my body is not keen on dropping the last 10kg but this is because to get the weight off I have to cut my calorie intake even further and smaller than I did when I was 20+kg heavier. Back then I could still eat 2000 calories and lose weight as I was obese. Now I have to eat far less.

toomanyleggings · 23/01/2024 12:16

I have a weight that I’ve spent the most amount of my life at from 16 onwards. Unfortunately it’s 13 stone. I’m 5ft 10 so it’s not massive but it’s more than I’d like. I find it very hard to get under that weight and only have for brief periods of a year or so with a lot of hunger involved.

twoforj0y · 23/01/2024 12:22

Yes!

20s I was 26 inch waist, 9 and a half stone.

30s I was 28 inch waist 10st 3 for a good decade.

These were my natural weights with me basically doing nothing really about my weight.

40s, it bounced to 11st 3. Worked like mad to get in front of peri and got down to 10st 3. But without the gym and careful eating, it ran to 11 st 3 and bounced around.

It has now stabilised at 11st 7.

I'm 49 and peri and exercise a lot. Shifting it is really hard. I'm sure it's doable.

It goes in our favour too. After Xmas I didn't want to go near the scales. But I did, and there I was same weight as ever. It feels like my body decides a new baseline and trying to buck it is very hard.

Nestofwalnuts · 23/01/2024 12:26

Mine was 59kg all through my teens, 20s, 30s, post birth of both DC. Then I started on antidepressants and shot up to 62kg in a single month. GP said it was my fault and cut back on snacking. The weight kept creeping up the longer I stayed on them. I'm now 70kg. But I have never seriously tried dieting as I never used to diet. My weight was what it was, regardless. I don't really want to starve myself and fixate on food just to get the weight off but will probably have to at some point.

SallyWD · 23/01/2024 12:30

I always hover around 10st4lbs. Of course if I eat too much for a couple of weeks I'll put weight on. If I consciously diet I'll lose weight.
However, if I just eat normally, according to my appetite I'll be 10st4lbs. I'm tall and my BMI IS 22 so this seems like a natural weight for my height and build.

Cookie77777 · 23/01/2024 12:31

I have a set clothes size! I've gained and dropped around three stone at various times and I've always been a size 16. Even as a really skinny teenager I had to wear a 14. It's like my organs lose weight and my shell stays the same size!

I'm 5'9 and big boned so maybe it's that?

If anyone can shed any light on how I can change that, I'm all ears!

SwordToFlamethrower · 23/01/2024 12:56

Between 10st 8 and 10 is my normal.

Original poster
GlamMa · 23/01/2024 13:24

genesis92 · 23/01/2024 11:59

Not really the answer you want, but I just wanted to say I also had the worst pregnancy sickness that meant I had to eat all the time just to settle my stomach

I also piled on weight. Everyone else I know who had sickness lost loads of weight, as one would expect. I've never met anyone before who had it the way round I did.

I feel cheated! 9 months post partum and I have such a lot way to go. I actually scared to get pregnant again

I totally feel your pain. If it's any consolation, I had absolutely no sickness in the next pregnancy and a really 'easy' labour 2nd time round!

OP posts:
Original poster
GlamMa · 23/01/2024 13:24

ooh thanks @Felicia19 - never realised it was a theory

OP posts:
applepiesain · 23/01/2024 13:43

Yes , I do.
Was 50kg most of my adult life so far. 65kg for both my pregnancies, then straight back to 50kg after each one without doing anything.
After hitting early 40's went up to about 55 and stayed there ever since.
I believe that's just my weight cos I never do anything to alter it in any way.

shearwater2 · 23/01/2024 13:48

Yes, but it's more like 11 stone (BMI 24) aged 48 not the 9.5 stone I managed to maintain in my 20s before having kids.

Also even with good muscle tone I'd still look like I'd had the air let out of me at this age if I got skinny. I'll be comfortably a size 10 max when I get to 11 stone.

And I was 11 stone in my late teens so even this is a reach really.

shearwater2 · 23/01/2024 14:26

Had a look at my GP weight records going back to 2009. Heaviest was 90kg in 2016. Lightest 74kg in 2009, that was nine months after I'd had DD2 and had worked very hard to lose 10kgs of baby weight, aged 34. Mostly I was 86/87kgs between 2015 to 2020. Like a weirdo I actually lost weight in the pandemic in 2021 (doing Very Fast 800) and got down to 73kg but couldn't sustain the loss when normal life resumed, went a bit mad and got back up to 85kg again.

Am currently 78kgs, though am aiming for 70kg. It's an overall downward trajectory and I'm taking it! Not bad when most people gain weight in their late 30s and 40s plus I've got endometriosis and had all sorts of hormonal crap going on in my 30s and early 40s.

Vegetus · 23/01/2024 17:27

Yes, But you can slowly taper it down over a period of time. It's why most people lose weight and put it back on again because they lose too much in one go rather than a period of fat loss followed my a maintenance phase and so on and so on until the goal weight is achieved. It takes longer obviously but this comes with a much a higher chance of keeping it off longer term.

Catsanddogs30 · 24/01/2024 07:05

At 8 stone I am miserable ,tired and can eat hardly anything .
at 8 1/2 stone I can eat so ,so much more .Although tired ,I am not miserable.

CrispsnDips · 24/01/2024 07:11

Have stayed at around 9 stone for 40 years

Zanatdy · 24/01/2024 07:23

Yes, for me 8.5 stone is a good weight where my stomach isn’t too big (when I gain weight it goes to belly and boobs only!). But it’s hard for me to get to it and stay at it. In lockdown I decided I was going to try and get to 7.5 stone and did and when I look back at photos I am definitely too thin. Showed a colleague the other day and she said please don’t go to that weight again! So I think 8.5 stone is a good weight and I started as 9st 9 this diet I started on 1st Jan.

Currently 9st 3 and working towards getting to 8.5 as I’m 47 and will be going into menopause soon and I know the older you get the harder it is to lose. Staying there is the problem and I accept I’m a yo-yo dieter and probably always will be. I am good at losing, I love seeing the numbers drop but it’s not quite as fun seeing the numbers stay the same when maintaining so I go off track and before I know it I’m 9.5 stone plus. Which at 5ft 1 is too much for me and I was in the overweight category and my stomach is way too big and actually bad for health.