Desperate for help (and motivation and will power)

[Theinfamousfive]

It’s the usual story of overweight since forever. Been a healthy weight a couple of times over the last 20 years but inevitably put it all back on.
So many years of yo-yo dieting means I don’t even know what is a normal, healthy diet anymore.
Things I have found out along the way is lower carb works for me as carbs make me incredibly lethargic. Also effects my PCOS. My current carb binging means I’m having to nap mid afternoon. However I struggle with LCHF as it’s so restrictive and gets boring really quick. I end up eating too much dairy meaning my weight stalls as it’s too many calories.
I try calorie counting but having some sugars mean I continue to have cravings and then end up binging.
I’ve put on half a stone this Christmas and woke up with the best of intentions today for the millionth time and by 11am had already binged.
I’m just so exhausted by this mental and physical cycle. The hatred of myself but not enough for it to stick at change. Have tried all the diets plus metformin and Saxenda all with no long lasting success. Please help me

I'm in the exact same boat. I've been yo-yo dieting and trying every diet under the sun for as long as I can remember. Not a day goes by that I don't look at myself and think yuk, get yourself together, but yet nothing changes! And here I am again, at the end of another year with yet more weight to lose from my Christmas binges!!

But, the biggest difference for me this year, is I'm completely letting go, in a good way! I cannot live my life constantly trying to lose weight, it's exhausting. And I plan, and plan and have the best intentions and then like you say, I'm failing before I'm even through the first day! So I've decided this year I'm really going to change my life style for the better, and change my mindset. No more calorie counting, no more scales, no more "I can't have this or that" I'm just going to take each day as it comes, make better choices and just focus on how I feel/how my clothes fit.

I'm sick of constantly going "I'm going to do X,Y and Z by this time next month" and then if I don't do one thing I hate myself. I'm just absolutely exhausted mentally. So I'm going to try my hardest to take each day as it comes and move my body because I want to, not because I have to, and eat better because it makes me feel better, not because I can or can't have certain things!

Sorry that got very long winded, I'm half thinking outloud! But yea I'm basically trying to make this year the biggest year of change, especially mentally.

Good luck! Happy to support along the way 💪🏼

Thanks for the reply, I like the sound of your intentions, it certainly sounds freeing. I wish I had the ability to do the same but I’m just no good without a plan (well or with one it seems). I know it all sounds a bit deep but I just don’t know what to do anymore and it’s frustrating. Trying to do something doesn’t work. Doing nothing doesn’t work. I just feel stuck and I’m fed up of this pity party but can’t see the way out

I really do know where you're coming from. It's so horrible isn't it. I'm also the exact same, such a control freak and cannot go without a plan either so this is going to be hard. I tried doing "intuitive eating" before to stop focusing on calories and I felt so free for about 3 days and then I weighed myself and hadn't lost anything and then got really stressed out everytime I ate anything without calorie counting! It's so so hard. And it's exactly that, I get fed up for being a slob, but then can't seem to change it, but only I can change it.

I get so fed up seeing so many before and after things on social media too, I just want to be at the after part but I have no energy or motivation to get there.

I really do understand how you're feeling, but I 100% think the biggest change to start with is the mentality, and that's why I'm attempting all or nothing, giving myself this year to really change my mindset and hoping that a healthier life and a healthier body follows. It's so hard living your life in a constant battle of "oh fuck it you only live once why can't you eat and drink what you want" to constantly living like "ah I really shouldn't eat that" every single bloody day!

Please try and dig yourself out of this rut! No pressure, no set deadlines, just focus on making your mind and body healthier and the rest will follow 💪🏼

I'm here with you OP! Just did my measurements and compared to September I'm bigger everywhere, I can't look in a mirror anymore without feeling disgust. I've rejoined the gym and I'm feeling positive that I can change, however this time last year I said the same thing, tried going back to Lowcarb, Slimpod, calorie counting. The only thing that worked was calorie counting but there was always some occasion that involved food that meant I ate what I wanted and then wasn't able to just get back on track straight away.

I'm planning on having a month of eating soups for lunch and a healthy-ish ready meal for tea just to get into the habit of smaller portions and give myself a (hopefully) quick start with minimal effort. And I just need to fit into my clothes again because right now everything is too tight!

This is me!

I am just so sick of dieting and following plans. Stupid weight loss clubs and stupid low fat products. Living my entire life feeling either hungry or guilty and constantly, constantly, feeling like I've either failed or I am going to fail very soon.

Like you, I'm focusing on health and nourishing my body. Whole foods, less sugar. We'll see if the weight comes along with it. Once my body knows to trust that its getting regular movement, real healthy food and enough sleep, I may consider calories etc. But not yet. This is a total reset.

@Tiredanddistracted it's frustrating it's it. I hate the fact that my DH has eaten/drunk the same as me over the past couple of weeks and he looks no different, yet none of my clothes fit and I just look awful.

Yes that's what I'm aiming for, a total reset. I'm hoping it works, I feel like this is my last straw. Because I need to change my mindset! Even if I spent a year sticking to 1,200 calories (which is ridiculous in itself) I could lose 5 stone and be happy but as soon as I relax I'll put it all back on! So I need to make a huge shift mentally!

Good luck! 💪🏼

I think the only way to be successful is to have some therapy to get to the bottom of any food related issues and disordered eating. I've just recently had private therapy for it and I honestly think for anyone that's been having life long / very long term struggles it's the only thing that can help.

@baubletits I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one Slimpod didn’t work for. As in I’m sorry it didn’t work for you too but glad I’m not alone as all the reviews and testimonials make it sound like it’s a sure fire cure.

@Deliberationdivinationdesperation I’ve gone over this in my mind a thousand times too and not sure it’s the be all either. Sure I overeat when I’m feeling lots of emotion but I also eat out of boredom, because I fancy something, because I crave it and can’t think straight until I give in , happiness, celebration etc so it’s not always about dealing with negative emotions.

Food isn’t something we can live without so then it comes to will power to make the right choice but it’s so hard. I know what needs to change (eat less, move more, work on MH etc) but in reality with work and life it’s just not always that easy.

I’ve decided to try sugar free January (saw a thread in weight loss chat). Sometimes Focussing on that one thing (no sugar) with an end goal is a bit easier. Have managed lent a few times. I’m hoping that it might curb some of the sugar cravings which in turn should help with the binges and weight.
maybe it’s just another fad but I’m at a loss

Keto and intermittent fasting has changed our lives. Try reading "The Diet Whisperer" and invest in Keto cook books by Monya Kilian Palmer (all on Amazon). We also bought a set of smart scales - I was terrified of standing on them the first time but the variety and detail of info they give (e.g. heart age, metabolic age) was really motivating and a healthy reminder that you're aiming for health and quality of life rather than a specific weight. I thought fasting would be awful until we tried it!