Why do you think we got fat in the first place?

[waistchallenge]

I've had a history of gaining and losing weight since the age of about 21/22.

Weirdly enough, up to this age things were stable, not slim slim but about an old size 12 which was not deemed attractive at the time, when skinny was fashionable and not having boobs a round bottom, unfortunately. The figure I had then is in fashion now 😞

But I wonder where things went wrong?
I think it's important to consider why and the root causes so we can try and stop going back to being overweight in the future, or lose if that's what is wanted.

I simply see food as fuel and eat what I need

But I drink too much

I'm not overweight, but OH family all are. Some people overweight because low income means processed dominates, but for my OH their higher income contributes to their weight. They can afford all the lovely biscuits, nice dinners and use their car all the time. They have no habit/culture of walking everywhere, whereas my Mum was so stingy with lifts when I grew up. I probably hated it at the time, but means my psyche is, walk or cycle where possible, and control the biscuits. Also didn't learn to drive until 30, which means those habits carried on. All those little bits add up. I have to control sweets massively because DD had some teeth decay. No choice, it has to be vetoed.

Also agree about it being good to get hungry and wait for meal. Denying food to loose weight is hard, but possibly more motivating to save your teeth, which cost a fortune to repair now.

The thing is, you don’t have to massively overeat to put weight on. A couple of biscuits too many a day is maybe 150 calories. But over the course of a year, this is about a stone in weight. The idea that some people are so lacking in will power and eating everything in sight is off the mark. The ready availability of food makes this kind of ‘slippage’ very easy.

Cheap carbs and sugar. Look at what we eat now, it's all pasta and wheat based products. The Italians don't eat pasta the way we do. It's the loaded premade sauces, the amount of cheese, garlic bread on the side, the amount of meatballs!
Alcohol as well. Plus chocolate and crisps not being a treat. Everyone has a treat cupboard, growing up I never did.
My kids eat pretty healthy but that is because I gain weight and have traditionally put foods into good and bad camps. I'm trying not to pass that on.

I agree with espresso that it's good to learn to recognise hunger and only eat when you hungry .. but it's hard when we are so conditioned to eat three times a day. I very occasionally skip a meal and always feel better for it but you have to be very disciplined to fast or only eat when you are hungry. My DH (not at all overweight) eats three large meals a day (having a cooked breakfast now!) plus snacks ... I only need about 30% of the calories he has but I am not motivated enough to just leave the room when he is eating ... again, we are ingrained into believing 'eating together' is a good thing when really in my case it isn't. And because I love food and am greedy I find it hard to just sit at the table and eat nothing or a very small meal .

I was the same weight until I went on anti depressants. gained half a stone in a month. The gp dismissively told me it was nothing to do with medication, I should eat less .

Came off them but only lost a couple of pounds. Went back on them, gained another half stone. Came off them, lost a couple. Finally, went on a new type for far too long and gained 25lbs. Lost 4lbs of it when i came off. Never gained any weight in between being on ADs, so can only assume they were the cause - the combination of increasing carb cravings and slowing the body and brain to couch potato mode.

Don't make treats too frequent. Cake for birthdays and Christmas, and special celebrations. Ice cream if you have a day at the beach or a special film night or go to a panto, but not weekday pudding. If they get given sweets, have one after a meal, when the body is already digesting, so it won't cause a sugar spike or craving so easily.

A good habit is to give them treats often which are non-food. You did well in your spelling test/were brave at the hospital etc You deserve a treat - let's go and choose a comic/I'll play a computer game with you for 30 mins/here's some money towards that Lego set you want/you can choose a film to watch tonight/why don't we have a day at the steam train/birdworld etc. It's good to stop them associating the word 'treat' with food.

I am just greedy. I eat when happy, sad and all points in-between. I watch what I eat from Monday to Friday evening, and don't worry from Friday evening to Sunday evening. My weight stays pretty stable now.

At certain times in my 20s and 30s - too much alcohol. Also some bad health issues, couldn’t exercise.

In my 40s to 50s - drank much less but the same chronic health issues, so couldn’t exercise.

Also gave up smoking at 44. Healthier eating, but too large a portions for my activity levels.

Not allowing myself treats - black and white thinking. On/off, all or nothing diet mentality.

Noom has helped me most recently with the last couple of aspects.

@TotalOverhaul it is annoying when GPs dismiss side effects. I took a popular painkiller for a few months and put in a stone! It didn’t even work 😡. I have taken anti depressants occasionally. Once I started eating bowls of cereal in the night! So I stopped. Unfortunately many of these kinds of medications seem to effect some of us strongly with side effects.

For me it was when I got a car, so less walking. Also went from just eating 3 meals a day, to extra snacks of junk food.

Oh I know for sure why I started overeating.

Had a horrible experience when I was about 11, and after that I was really scared of being home alone, but my parents both worked so I was home alone after school most days.

I used to stand in the kitchen silently eating bread to distract myself I suppose. And it became a habit, to do that whenever I was home alone.

I've only managed to stop in the last 3 years or so, and I've lost four stone. But I do find it hard to keep myself on the straight and narrow now that I work from home a lot.

So many reasons to take anything in isolation although it all boils down to eating too much and doing too little.

We live in a society of excess. The availability of take aways and alcohol and the lack of decent public transport combined with long working hours. You only have to read the threads on here to see how the amount of alcohol and take aways is common place. Families don't eat at the table, food is eaten in front of the tv.

The bus stop picnics and the big packets of sweets after school and the inability to feel hunger without it needed to be satisfied immediately instead of waiting an hour for dinner.

The denial of eating too much and not doing enough physical activity and the lack of ownership over our own habits.

I blamed perimenopause for gaining weight but the truth was I was eating too much despite being very active. As soon as I started eating around 1800 calories a day I lost weight. There's no point lying to ourselves and blaming everything but what we are eating and doing. There are some people who do have medical reasons for weight gain and/or not being able to shift weight but mainly it's because we eat too much and do too little.

Also, remembering, food is a pleasure,
especially for some of us. The way I am keeping things stable now is still treating it as such - no major self denial, but smaller portions. Occasional substitutes. Slightly changing tastes and habits, perhaps building up over time. But at the same time I never deny myself anything I genuinely want eg. I’m slimmer now yet will treat myself to a slice of cake locally if I really fancy it.

For me depression, laziness, lack of money and children who like beige food.

@waistchallenge great question. I think most people, left to their own devices, eat much as they want until they stop feeling hungry so while the CICO formula is straightforwardly blunt and easy it doesn’t get at the real truth imho. Why are some people much hungrier or better at storing the calories they take in?

Interestingly I think it’s largely to do with diet culture taking hold and the availability of calorie dense food. I think once you start messing with restricting calories or food groups, often when you are young and not even overweight (if you’re a woman anyway) you’re on a long road to gaining a bit more weight the next time you fall off the wagon, and everytime you fall off the wagon.

Most women I know have been doing some sort of diet food restriction thing their whole adult lives, especially the most overweight ones. The slimmer ones often started dieting later and did fewer extreme diets early on. I think when you’re off the wagon, the options to get lots and lots of calories into you quickly and without noticing are vast and your body is scared of starvation so it’s good at getting you to do this.

I think very, very slim women do also obsess about food and just put huge amounts of energy into maintaining slimness so I can absolutely see how they view other women as just not as committed but I’ve literally seen people give up huge life opportunities to stay very slim so I suspect it’s far harder than they make it look.

I mostly think viewing weight in terms of greediness, laziness, lack of self discipline or addiction is usually flawed, because there is little evidence that people have become less disciplined or more lazy.

I'm overweight as are about half of my friendship group. About 90%of it in my group is food choices. The fat ones eat more UPFs than the others. Especially lots of diet drinks, low fat shite. The slim ones eat much more natural foods, snack less and move more. Really notice it when we holiday together. So much so that I have cut out most UPFs for the last year, still eat everything else and have lost a stone very gradually. Don't miss it at all now.

All my life I was very skinny. 7,5 stone and 5'5. I went on the pill for acne aged 16 and started to get some curves which then made me put a bit of weight on and I was about 10.10 for ages. Then around 29 it went up and I lost some weight. After my dd was born when I was 32 it ballooned. I lost that then put it back on and now I'm 42 11.4 1/2 and still losing. I think for me it was a case of when I was younger I could eat whatever I wanted then when I couldn't I didn't know how to deal with it.

For me, it was boredom, some PND, stress, starting to eat cake and choc for a pleasure hit and then getting used to the sugar hit and craving it. Also work, childcare, parent care, household stuff left no time for exercise.

Bit by bit I tackled and addressed these things, upping my exercise made me feel so much better and motivated me to break the sugar and snack habit. I slept better so felt better so felt less need for the chocolate boost. Also cutting down alcohol from the ‘one or two glasses a night to unwind’ to two or three evenings only.

Steady weightloss (1lb a week) then gave me a sense of achievement and motivated me to keep going. All I did was adopt healthier eating habits and up my exercise. I didn’t ‘go on a diet’.

My weight has now stayed stable around the middle of the healthy BMI range for 3 years and I just eat normally but relatively healthily with not much thought.

It’s all connected, and when out of balance becomes a vicious circle / downward spiral, but if you get a handle on one thing it can become a motivator / boost towards the next healthier habit: an upwards spiral.

I definitely eat out of boredom most of the time and I’m addicted to sugar! I literally open the cupboard door and tell myself ‘you’re just bored’ but will have something anyway. It’s all just extra calories I don’t need. I’ve made a rule now that I have to drink 2L a day so I’m having a drink every time I think about snacking and the only snacks I’m allowed are fruit/healthy cereal bars, no biscuits, chocolate or crisps

I started a new business last year and lost weight for the first time in my life without even trying. I didn’t realise until a few months in but I just didn’t have time to snack because I was so engrossed in working. It wasn’t until I caught a glimpse of my non existent belly in the mirror one day that I realised how much all those extra calories must have been piling on. I wasn’t even really exercising much at the time either but the weight was falling off. I’m still doing the same business but now I’ve noticed I was doing this I’m back in at the snacks again 🙄

I have a massive appetite. My mum has a massive appetite, and has struggled with her weight for most of her life. Her mum had a massive appetite, and so did her mum. I've seen a photo of her in her WWI nursing outfit, and blimey, let's just say that the assumption that everyone in those days was skinny isn't true in her case!

Some of it might be the way each successive generation was raised, but honestly my mum always cooked healthily and from scratch with limited treats, as do I. So I think our individual- possibly inherited- hormonal makeups make a massive difference. It's much harder to restrict your intake when you're always hungry!

For me, it's emotional eating. I eat when I'm feeling in a bad place: stress, sadness, overwhelm - all the negative stuff.

I'm at my slimmest when I'm happiest and my mind is uncluttered.

As a society, there is a strong correlation between the rise in obesity and the rise of ultra processed foods (UPF's). This is the case in multiple countries round the world, not just the UK.

The book "Why We Eat (Too Much)" and the Zoe podcasts about UPF's have some really interesting insights into these trends.