Has anyone managed to get out of the ‘food as a treat’ mindset?

[oddsocksoddme]

This is probably one of my biggest issues with my weight. I constantly use food to reward myself like a fucking dog!

I need to break this habit because I can see that the pattern is just going to repeat itself with my children.

How do I get to a place where a bath or a face mask or something feels as good as a massive piece of cake?

How can it be a reward if it leaves you feeling full of guilt and self loathing?
This may resonate.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJw1vRdQ/

How do I get to a place where a bath or a face mask or something feels as good as a massive piece of cake?

Right there, that's the real problem. It's the portion size you're eating, not what you're eating. Instead of a massive piece, have a smaller piece.

Yes the way to do this is practice mindfulness

look at what you eat every time. Don’t eat whilst staring at your phone or TV
think about the food you are about to eat.

Ask if it is going to help or hinder you
ask yourself if it will really make you feel better or just be another problem to add to your pile to deal with later
in this way I will talk to myself and ask what I need
then using distraction - if you aren’t hungry then go do something else
if you are telling yourself you deserve something, why? How are you earning rewards? If it’s stress related then you need to get your brain to focus and admit food is only going to give you a temporary release and won’t help manage stress at all. Find other things you enjoy

think about how food tastes. A lot of junk food tastes synthetic. Fantasise about how nice fresh food tastes, the lovely textures and colours and how it’s nourishing. I sometimes think about that massive slice of cake as a boring bland thing that will taste the same at every bite and all I am tasting is the sugar.
However I will have a small piece if other people are sharing it socially.
Don’t buy cake - is it a birthday? No one needs a random cake in the house

Perhaps it’s not so much a problem with food as a treat, but the fact that treats are considered a daily entitlement? A treat is no longer something you wait for, or even earn. Instant gratification and all that.

I agree with pp. I still reward myself with food treats , but I have a much smaller portion than I would've pre weightloss. Yesterday I had a mini cupcake and a skinny flat white , previously it would've been a full sized one with a full fat coffee to accompany it.

I have just done this with Mumsnet low carb boot camp.

I have always been a big emotional eater and would eat a massive slice of cake when I felt like a reward, or when I was feeling really sad. Which was a lot.

I can't tell you how I did it, but somehow just managed to switch. I think it helped to not have anything at all to completely break the link.

It's been hard (and only 6 weeks) but once you're conscious of it, you can check yourself.

I booked myself a facial this week with the money I'd saved on cake. Ok maybe it didn't quite add up.

Also bunches of flowers are quite cheap so when I'm in the supermarket and feel I need to 'treat myself' I buy a bunch.

Yes but it has to be something you really like

so for me it is going for a swim or yoga, having a nice hot drink (vanilla rooibos with milk and 1 sugar), or listening to my favourite music, having a bath etc

Totally agree @Aquamarine1029
I never really had massive bits of cake, but ended up diabetic on insulin last year and have found thst a little trwat is just as nice.
Dh lets me have a spoonful of his dessert when we go out or i chose something like a canoli at the cafe. I now found most cakes to sweet to have too much now.

Also I realised I was eating instead of treating myself well.

So actually, taking the time to sort out a nice lunch, or taking the time to do some exercise wasn't something I was doing, but cake was a quick substitute.

It was an act of self-harm in all sorts of ways, rather than a treat.

6 stone weight loss maintained for 12 years, from size 24 to size 8.

You know when you've had that massive slice of cake, the guilt and self-digust afterwards? That's what you're actually doing. It's self sabotage. Once this clicked in my mind, the emotional eating got better.

BUT I need to look forward to my food. I love food. So I have a yummy breakfast (eggs and mushrooms with a little chorizo) tasty lunch (Moroccan cous cous salads, homemade soups,) and bloody delicious dinners (caribbean curry, lamb stews, salmon and veggies, chilli and rice, homemade burger with sweet potato chips). They're just home cooked, healthy and not laden with crap and calories.

I used to love a takeaway pizza but I made my own version - now you couldn't pay me to eat takeaway pizza because I prefer my own. Domino's tastes gross now - I never thought that would be the case.

Your tastes actually change. It takes time, but now I don't want fast food. It tastes awful. I don't want a slice of cake, unless it's one I've baked myself. And the only choc I eat is dark chocolate - I find any other chocolate highly addictive and I can just keep going and not be satisfied but dark choc really hits the spot and you don't need much!

It's about finding food that still feels like a treat for you but it's healthy. And realising it's NOT a treat to eat something that's going to make you feel like shit!!

Reading Ultra Processed People really changed how I look at food. I still eat food I enjoy but I am much more conscious about what I am putting into my body and how it might effect me in the long run.

Its so reassuring to read that people have managed to beat this.

I was probably too specific when I mentioned cake. It was just an example and thankfully I am not getting through a 24 piece birthday cake daily but the point remains. It could be crisps, bread, anything. Food just fits all occasions for me, happy or sad and unfortunately my taste isn’t for the healthy kind. To an extent portion size is very much an issue because actually there’s no reason I couldn’t have some of any food I like every day, it’s being sensible about how much of it to have that’s the problem.

I am such an in the moment person, I have ADHD so poor impulse control. I can want so badly to eat healthier, be healthier but then I get something into into my head that I fancy to eat and that’s that. I’ve got to have it. And even if I somehow manage to be virtuous and not buy anything one particular day I’ll then just cave in the next day. ADHD medication has helped before in terms of appetite suppressant but other side effects meant I didn’t continue with it and don’t have it in me just now to try and sort it all out again.

I just wish food wasn’t such a big thing in my life. I think that’s what I want to change really. Instead of thinking ‘oh I fancy some of X food’ I want to think ‘I really want to go and read my book/do a puzzle/etc’. I just want something else to be my go to and food is just something I eat three times a day to give me energy etc.

There are foods I avoid because they make me hungrier, more likely to overeat crap and crave sugar, so just not buying them is the only option!

You do have to use your willpower. It's like a muscle, the more you use it, the easier it is. Being healthier has to be a bigger motivation than eating that cake/bread/choc bar.

For me, I'd rather use my calories to be FULL as I hate being hungry. So I'd prefer a nice meal with loads of veg than a doughnut.

You're in charge. Having a craving doesn't mean you have to have it. Ask yourself at the time, is the short term, short lived enjoyment of eating the cake more important than the long term goal of being healthy?

The crap food soon actually stops being a treat, because it just makes you feel shit.

I really enjoy being proud of my eating habits, rather than being disgusted with myself.

As humans, we're wired for short term satisfaction so you have to keep reminding yourself of the long term.

I find most people know how to be healthier. They know how to lose weight, they know what foods aren't great. But you have to look at why you're not making those choices.

Best of luck.