When to admit defeat?

[Kracnen]

I was always slim. Until I got married in my late 20s, I was always about 8 and a half stone at 5‘6“. Could eat and drink what I liked.

Now I‘m 37 and two children later, I‘m 10 stone.

I would love to get back to my previous weight, but it seems unattainable. I‘d be happy to even just lose half a stone at this point.

But any time I try to lose weight, I find I have to be really strict. I‘ll lose half a stone and feel fantastic. Then something will come up (a holiday or special occasion). I eat normally and the weight goes straight back on.

I really don’t know how to keep the weight off without calorie counting and restricting myself for the rest of my life. Should I just admit defeat and stay at 10 stone?

Well I am 5’3” and would love to be 10st. Sadly it gets harder as you get older and you have to keep up the effort even to maintain. Your current BMI is 22.4 which is pretty amazing. If you ‘admit defeat’ it will probably creep up. Have a google of ‘set points’ for weight to see why you regain the 7 lb when you lose it. It is very hard to reset a set point.

U answered ur own question. You are eating normally. But unfortunately normal changes as u get older. Before my son I could eat what I like. And it took me 20 years of yo yo dieting to realise that I cannot eat like that.

There are more calories in things than u think. As an example. 100 g of new potatoes which is about 154 calories is about three potatoes. When u have only 500 left a day. That’s alot. And three new potatoes are fairly small amounts. When you are done dieting you will either have to calorie count like I do or eat healthy and cut out all the rubbish.

It is horrible. And I hate it. But I’m not being my mums size at 50.

Why would you only have 500 left? You mean a total daily intake of 654 calories? 😕

When you get to dinnertime and you've got 500 calories left, if you decide to include potatoes as part of your meal, a small amount can "use up" a significant portion of the calories you have available for the entire meal.

Ever since adolescence, I really struggled with my weight, sabotaged by a very sweet tooth and seamingly no willpower.

Now over sixty, I have found low carb (lots of leafy green veg (very definitely not no carb) to be transformational. I've been eating low carb, following MN's own low carb bootcamp since January 2022, I've eaten really well, enjoyed my food and lost weight quite gradually so I'm now in the upper end of a normal BMI for the first time in decades.

I feel so much better, younger and fitter.

Thanks for the explanation, @uhOhOP, I see what you mean.

I agree that @FinallyHere in that I have seen a similar effect with a relatively low carb diet. I mean, the true reasons may be debatable (is it just cutting out one food group?) but the effects are evident for me too.

I'd be happy to be 10 stone 7lb and I'm shorter than you!

@waistchallenge

The version of low carb is very much not cutting out a whole food group. I've switched from starchy carbs (potatoes, chips, carrots, beetroot grown below ground) to leafy green veg, grown above ground. If I've cut out anything it's been sugar, which is now found in so many processed foods, even the entirely savoury ones.

Good quality meat, dairy and fat plus heaps of leafy green veg, cauliflower, broccoli. Completely delicious, leave me feeling energised lean and fit. Only wish I had found this way of eating ages ago.

Op I'm in exactly the same position. Well I'm heavier than you. I got down to 10stone for my hols which I was thrilled with. Weighed in this morning at 10.12. Realistically I'd love to be 10.6 and just maintain it there. Being that weight would allow me to have wine/treats at the weekend. Unfortunately I'm in a bad mindset of eating really well and feeling amazing and losing weight then I spiral for 2 months, eat terribly, drink too much and have to start again. It's tedious. I feel like I've forgotten how to eat normally and i dont know how to relearn.

I don't think it's defeat. It sounds to me as if you have always been a healthy weight and remain comfortably so now. Your body wants to weigh a bit more because you're older and have had children. I would honestly lean into it if you've been this weight for a while and don't think that eating normally will mean it continues to go up.

I'm 5ft 6.5" and 10st is my target weight! I started at 14st 1lb, currently 11st 4lbs.

Instead of weight loss could you focus on body composition?

If you lifted weights and gained muscle, your basal metabolic rate would increase so you would be able to eat more calories for your weight which would also help you into a deficit if you did still want to drop a couple of pounds of fat.

At your low weight I do honestly think it would be a new lease of life for you! Eating more to maintain a healthy weight as well as being happier with the shape of your body (regardless of the number on the scale)