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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Can't get a grip on 14st of fat and going up-help please!

27 replies

halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 11:13

Hi everyone
Looking for some help from you lovely people.
I need help as my weight going back up.
Throughput my life my weight has been up and down.
I'm 14st 1lb today 5foot 4 inches and middle aged and just feel out of control, no willpower, what's the point as just can't get the motivation switch, toying with doing one of these low keto diets which I did a few years ago but put all of it back on except one stone.
My mindset is not good as I feel so overwhelmed and want all the weight gone quickly which I know logically is stupid but losing slowly is hard as I feel like giving up or I'm never going to get there. I know I am still going to be fat this Christmas.
I look horrible as not much fits and I don't want to buy new clothes.
I just can't seem to get my head in the right frame. I have become breathless walking and disheartened as my oh thinks he needs to lose weight and is under twelve stone and five inches taller so I have a long way to go to even get to his weight.
What can I do. A pound a week is so slow so I lose the incentive.
Logically I know if I did this I would be slim this time next year but it feels a long way off.
I am pale too, legs not nice as veins lots so self conscious in summer on hols but at least if they were thinner be something.
Everything about me looks old and unattractive. No one even looks at me anymore. Invisible.
Just feel down and hate myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 14:28

Anyone?

OP posts:
Annon12345 · 16/10/2023 14:34

Slow and steady unfortunately works! You just have to keep going, easier said than done i know! Set yourself mini goals to keep yourself motivated. Lose a few pounds buy a nice outfit and so on. There is no quick fix! It's all about just changing your habits and making small changes each day. Don't let a bad day turn into a small day. Read atomic habits but james clear. Its not a weight loss book as such though talks about how lots of tiny changes in mindset work towards long term goals

Annon12345 · 16/10/2023 14:35

*let a bad day turn into two bad days that should say! No idea why I put small!

Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 14:36

Annon12345 · 16/10/2023 14:34

Slow and steady unfortunately works! You just have to keep going, easier said than done i know! Set yourself mini goals to keep yourself motivated. Lose a few pounds buy a nice outfit and so on. There is no quick fix! It's all about just changing your habits and making small changes each day. Don't let a bad day turn into a small day. Read atomic habits but james clear. Its not a weight loss book as such though talks about how lots of tiny changes in mindset work towards long term goals

Thankyou
I know you are right
Just can't get the switch in my head as kind of depressed but weight not helping either so need to.
Will read book you recommended too.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 14:37

Annon12345 · 16/10/2023 14:35

*let a bad day turn into two bad days that should say! No idea why I put small!

😂👍

OP posts:
Cudz · 16/10/2023 14:41

Maybe join one of the weight loss groups on here so it helps you stay on track and take accountability. I've lost 2 stone since April time so mainly 1lb a week and at the time although it feels like slow progress I'm so glad I now stuck to it as my whole body has transformed. Also Google what 1lb of fat looks like and you will realise how amazing losing 1lb actually is. Good luck lovely you can do it! X

hobbledyhoy · 16/10/2023 14:48

I would heartily recommend reading the Fast 800. I've found it simple, effective and completely changed my relationship with food.
Good quality fats are not to be feared and I see food now as nourishment rather than viewing sugary processed food as a treat, it makes me feel rotten after I eat it.
The food industry is geared to make you consume as much as possible, I'd read ultra processed people alongside Fast 800, eye-opening and you realise why your body is craving this stuff.
I've lost about 3 stone and kept it off and the fact that you tend to lose quite quickly in the beginning has been shown by NHS research to keep motivation going and ultimately lead to more success.
Good luck

MenoMess · 16/10/2023 15:15

I am in the same situation. Almost the exact weight and height as you .

I have a wardrobe where 90% of my clothes no longer fit and I feel horrible.

I just need to find the motivation and good habits that I can build into daily life.
I have signed back into MyFitnessPal today and plan to do a daily walk for this week.

is there anything small you can do every day this week to make you feel better about yourself and start to build healthy habits ?

MrsHedgewitch · 16/10/2023 15:16

I really understand, it can all get you so down. I could kick myself, but I found a couple of days ago the strength to say enough is enough - I deserve to be healthy and happy with my body and am determined not to stop till I get what I deserve. I’m mid forties, it can’t continue.
Fast 800 keeps you feeling pretty full so you don’t struggle as much at the start. And you see some good results pretty quickly which does help with incentive.

nowtygaffer · 16/10/2023 15:21

Hi OP, I've recently started Fast 800. I'd recommend it as seems to be quick enough results to keep you motivated. There are lots of recipes for it online.

saltnpepper2000 · 16/10/2023 15:26

I've been following Chelsea Mae Cullen on Instagram. She's a vegan (Lean with Plants) - I'm not!
However she has really good ideas for making up huge plates of food so you don't feel deprived.
On the weeks that I follow her principles I lose a couple of pounds without being hungry.

Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:27

Cudz · 16/10/2023 14:41

Maybe join one of the weight loss groups on here so it helps you stay on track and take accountability. I've lost 2 stone since April time so mainly 1lb a week and at the time although it feels like slow progress I'm so glad I now stuck to it as my whole body has transformed. Also Google what 1lb of fat looks like and you will realise how amazing losing 1lb actually is. Good luck lovely you can do it! X

Thankyou I will remind myself of what one pound of fat looks like as remember seeing photo years ago and it is more than i think in my head👍

OP posts:
RobynRB · 16/10/2023 15:28

I'm 5ft 8lb and 18.5stone. I agree it's hard and it's depressing. My idea was to set a goal for next Christmas - lose three pounds a month for 14 months, will equate to three stone lost. Will still be 15.5stone, which is too much - but seems like it's better to set an achievable goal rather than an unachievable one, and hopefully once things start moving maybe it will become easier and I will get there sooner. In the past I've found once you get into the groove of losing it becomes easier.

Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:29

hobbledyhoy · 16/10/2023 14:48

I would heartily recommend reading the Fast 800. I've found it simple, effective and completely changed my relationship with food.
Good quality fats are not to be feared and I see food now as nourishment rather than viewing sugary processed food as a treat, it makes me feel rotten after I eat it.
The food industry is geared to make you consume as much as possible, I'd read ultra processed people alongside Fast 800, eye-opening and you realise why your body is craving this stuff.
I've lost about 3 stone and kept it off and the fact that you tend to lose quite quickly in the beginning has been shown by NHS research to keep motivation going and ultimately lead to more success.
Good luck

Well done you have done so well. How long did it take to lose the three stone?

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:32

RobynRB · 16/10/2023 15:28

I'm 5ft 8lb and 18.5stone. I agree it's hard and it's depressing. My idea was to set a goal for next Christmas - lose three pounds a month for 14 months, will equate to three stone lost. Will still be 15.5stone, which is too much - but seems like it's better to set an achievable goal rather than an unachievable one, and hopefully once things start moving maybe it will become easier and I will get there sooner. In the past I've found once you get into the groove of losing it becomes easier.

Yeah that is a better idea for me probably as I get too overwhelmed otherwise. It's stupid but because I am so low in mood at present I almost have this really stupid thought that what is the point as by the time I have sorted myself out my partner will have checked out.
It sounds pathetic I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:35

saltnpepper2000 · 16/10/2023 15:26

I've been following Chelsea Mae Cullen on Instagram. She's a vegan (Lean with Plants) - I'm not!
However she has really good ideas for making up huge plates of food so you don't feel deprived.
On the weeks that I follow her principles I lose a couple of pounds without being hungry.

Will look this up
Thankyou

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:37

MrsHedgewitch · 16/10/2023 15:16

I really understand, it can all get you so down. I could kick myself, but I found a couple of days ago the strength to say enough is enough - I deserve to be healthy and happy with my body and am determined not to stop till I get what I deserve. I’m mid forties, it can’t continue.
Fast 800 keeps you feeling pretty full so you don’t struggle as much at the start. And you see some good results pretty quickly which does help with incentive.

Good luck with your weight loss journey too.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:40

MenoMess · 16/10/2023 15:15

I am in the same situation. Almost the exact weight and height as you .

I have a wardrobe where 90% of my clothes no longer fit and I feel horrible.

I just need to find the motivation and good habits that I can build into daily life.
I have signed back into MyFitnessPal today and plan to do a daily walk for this week.

is there anything small you can do every day this week to make you feel better about yourself and start to build healthy habits ?

I have some gorgeous clothes that I can't believe I used to fit into!!!!
I could get a outfit out of wardrobe and just initially aim to get into that and once achieved that go on to next one till all my clothes fit again.
Also I like the calorie counter on nutra check app.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:40

I also love walking but so breathless at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 15:43

nowtygaffer · 16/10/2023 15:21

Hi OP, I've recently started Fast 800. I'd recommend it as seems to be quick enough results to keep you motivated. There are lots of recipes for it online.

Yeah a few people seem to find this diet good👍
I will look into it.

OP posts:
BristolBlueGlasses · 16/10/2023 15:58

I lost 3 stone between this new year's day and July. Slow and steady did it for me with Slimming World.

Something I found is that I thought I wouldn't feel good about my body until I'd lost the whole 3 stone, but from week one (when I lost 3lb) I felt better and it built every week from there. 3lb or 1lb off starts to mount up.

The best thing anyone ever said to me about weight loss is that even half a pound is a whole packet of butter. If I only lost that I would imagine myself not having to carry that packet of butter everywhere, picture that pound of butter not on my hips and I would be pleased with that.

Go for it. You'll feel fantastic.

Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 16:03

BristolBlueGlasses · 16/10/2023 15:58

I lost 3 stone between this new year's day and July. Slow and steady did it for me with Slimming World.

Something I found is that I thought I wouldn't feel good about my body until I'd lost the whole 3 stone, but from week one (when I lost 3lb) I felt better and it built every week from there. 3lb or 1lb off starts to mount up.

The best thing anyone ever said to me about weight loss is that even half a pound is a whole packet of butter. If I only lost that I would imagine myself not having to carry that packet of butter everywhere, picture that pound of butter not on my hips and I would be pleased with that.

Go for it. You'll feel fantastic.

That is a really good way of putting it👍👍👍
I need to lose about five stone that's a lot of butter but it's definitely this sort of thing that makes me more motivated.

OP posts:
FatLarrysBanned · 16/10/2023 16:04

I won't suggest any specific diets because really what works for one person might not work for another depending on your food preferences, lifestyle etc. Eg I've got a sweet tooth, so keto wouldn't (and didn't!) work for me but intermittent fasting does because I don't get hungry until I have my first mouthful of food for the day then I'm ravenous, so I have a small eating window of 6 hours.

For me it is a mindset and I found just getting myself a Pinterest board with loads of inspirational sayings really helped me - stuff like "do not reward yourself with food, you are not a dog"... "Sweat is fat crying"... etc May sound trite, but it helped me. Also kept telling myself I only needed to lose a pound. Then when I lost that pound, I only need to lose a pound. If that took 2 weeks then fine - sometimes my weight went up (how??), mostly it went down but the general trajectory over a period of time was downwards. It was too overwhelming for me to think I need to lose 2 stones or 28 pounds.

Is it realistic and achievable for you to lose 1lb? Of course it is and then you've taken the first step. You've done it before, you can do it again, but we all know it's a hard slog. Who wouldn't love just to wake up 3 stone lighter? We all would, but be gentle on yourself, reward and comfort yourself in ways other than using food. Eat mindfully, which ever diet you choose. Enjoy the food you are eating even if there's not as much of it as you're used to.

Noicant · 16/10/2023 16:06

No s diet? Boringly sensible and doable.

Original poster
halloweenangel · 16/10/2023 16:09

FatLarrysBanned · 16/10/2023 16:04

I won't suggest any specific diets because really what works for one person might not work for another depending on your food preferences, lifestyle etc. Eg I've got a sweet tooth, so keto wouldn't (and didn't!) work for me but intermittent fasting does because I don't get hungry until I have my first mouthful of food for the day then I'm ravenous, so I have a small eating window of 6 hours.

For me it is a mindset and I found just getting myself a Pinterest board with loads of inspirational sayings really helped me - stuff like "do not reward yourself with food, you are not a dog"... "Sweat is fat crying"... etc May sound trite, but it helped me. Also kept telling myself I only needed to lose a pound. Then when I lost that pound, I only need to lose a pound. If that took 2 weeks then fine - sometimes my weight went up (how??), mostly it went down but the general trajectory over a period of time was downwards. It was too overwhelming for me to think I need to lose 2 stones or 28 pounds.

Is it realistic and achievable for you to lose 1lb? Of course it is and then you've taken the first step. You've done it before, you can do it again, but we all know it's a hard slog. Who wouldn't love just to wake up 3 stone lighter? We all would, but be gentle on yourself, reward and comfort yourself in ways other than using food. Eat mindfully, which ever diet you choose. Enjoy the food you are eating even if there's not as much of it as you're used to.

Yes this is exactly how I am but it is achievable to lose one pound.
Then review situation and lose next pound.
I'm battling with do I weigh myself or do I go with clothes.
I have in past weighed myself and put weight on when I feel I should not have done. It was just fluctuating but demotivated me a lot so that's something I'm not sure about.

OP posts: