Oh used to always want physical relationship but interest went few years ago. I went up to 15 and half stone. Got down to 10 st but now 14 st and he is very caring hugs cuddles hand holding but I don't feel he desires me and I feel crap about self. My self esteem is gone and I just can't get control on eating again.
I feel overwhelmed with how much I got to lose and just can't stick with it more than two weeks. I think this is a big part of problem as it just is so much weight to lose I feel I am never going do it.
He has contact with lots of very slim attractive sporty women and I just look so different compared to them.
We only have physical relationship when I ask now and he seems to enjoy but I am fed up of initiating as this makes me feel shit about myself as I want him to desire me but that is long gone I think. We are best mates but I really am attracted to him but he isn't to me.
A few years ago we almost parted ways on his part but sorted things out but I lost my heart and now am scared but also paralysed and inside depressed about that time and how I look now.
Need motivation even to help myself but very low inside.
Can anyone give words of wisdom?