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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

The emotional rollercoaster of weight loss

5 replies

ThePurpleOctopus · 02/10/2023 20:21

I’ve had a lot of these thoughts swirling around my head and wanted to put them down somewhere.

I don’t imagine that any of this is unique to me, and guess others have felt some of these things, or all of them, at some point before.

Disclaimer: these are my views of weight loss having been up to BMI 38 and down to 25, and everything in between. Currently somewhere in the middle of that.

#1 - For me to change my eating habits to be healthier (aka start a diet), I have to both love and hate myself at the same time. It’s only when I really hate how my body looks and feels, but also when I feel love for myself (that I deserve better and can change my situation) that I’m able to change habits for the better. If I feel wholly negative about myself I might hate my body more than at other times, but it won’t lead to the switch being flicked and me feeling able to make changes. I need to feel some positivity too. I have no idea what triggers or sustains that positivity though.

Unsurprisingly I’ve never felt wholly positive about myself….

———

#2 - Weight loss makes me more critical of my body, not less, even as I get slimmer. It’s that feeling of being removed from reality, isn’t it? That you’ve got your head stuck in the sand about how you look. So when I’ve lost a couple of stone I feel so much better, but also look in the mirror more and feel critical of every bit of fat I can pinch on my body. And then I wonder in disgust how massive I must have been at BMI 38, and feel so ashamed of myself (but weirdly didn’t feel that shame so acutely when I was bigger, as I had my head in the sand…). So now I’m trying to keep a positive mindset in order to lose weight, but have to deal with this negativity at the same time.

———

#3 - A ‘good’ or ‘bad’ food day (or even meal) can dramatically change how I feel about my body. When I’m on plan and doing well I feel physically slimmer and leaner. (And emotionally happier)

But if I go off plan a little or have a big meal or a binge, even if I’ll get back on plan later and I know rationally it’s not a problem in the grand scheme of things (the 80:20 idea), I can physically feel a few stone heavier. Suddenly my body feels bigger, more cumbersome; I’m sure I can pinch more fat on all parts of me than before this day/meal. What I see in the mirror is fat and disgusting, and I’m squeezed like a sausage into my clothes. Even if before that meal I felt svelte and light, and happy in my skin and clothes. And even if rationally I know I just look exactly the same as before.

(And therefore doubt kicks in - did I even actually look good? How can I ever know for sure if I look good or not if I can’t trust my brain from one moment to the next?)

———

I’m sure there are more points my brain hasn’t organised yet too.

The big thing this screams out to me is how psychological weight loss is for me. The fact that I can think so differently about my body depending on food is bizarre. And pretty disordered.

Anyone else relate to this fucked-up-ness of thinking?

OP posts:
Sleeplessinseattle234 · 04/10/2023 12:44

Yes. Have spent years to to backwards and forwards. Giving up. Loosing the weight. Bad eating. Etc etc. This time it is different as I have a broken gallbladder and cannot eat unhealthy foods. Strangely this has stopped my obsession and I’m happy just eating fairy and veg.

what I always find funny is. I never feel or see the weight loss until I see it on the scales. I dropped eights pounds on one week due to being scared to put food in my mouth. Didn’t notice it or feel it until I stood on the scales. As soon as I did I felt instantly thinner and could feel it in my clothes.

Disturbia81 · 04/10/2023 19:04

After losing 9 stone I can relate to your whole post, I love how real and honest it is and you write things that I feel but have never seen written down.
I feel a stone bigger after eating one carby meal, a combo of bloating and psychological I think!

The second point is so true.. I was so in denial about my weight that I never felt bad about it, just a general hate but didn't look too closely. The very first day of my plan I hated it.. it felt like seeing it in the cold light of day. And I think that's why so many people fail after a few days.. can no longer be in denial PLUS no comfort of junk food.

Gardenclems · 07/10/2023 06:52

Try reading “the last diet”. It’s all about appreciating your body and talking to yourself in a kinder way. I think you’d find it really helpful

Cleethorpes · 07/10/2023 21:05

Brains can play such tricks.

I’ve lost 5 stone, down to a BMI of 26. I still see myself as very fat when I look in the mirror. Apparently it can take years for this to change if you’ve been long term fat. Bizarrely though, looking at photos of when I was fattest, I had no idea that I was that fat! All sorts of dysmorphia going on.🤣

asgrossasrver · 07/10/2023 23:06

Absolutely agree with this I can't believe I didn't see how overweight I was and I think no one could tell me as I was so defensive about it. So sad and felt so awful generally.
Being fat is a life stressor I've lost enough to be out of obese into overweight but at any moment I realise I could spiral into the same old stuff again

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