Binge Eating Distress

[Birthdayplan]

Hi all
I think i just want a hand hold :(

I had bulimia as a teenager and managed to get through this myself. I was able to focus on healthy exercise habits and this became an important part of my identity (sport, activity etc). Didn’t have any issues after this for about 15 years.

I became very unwell last year and as I was bedridden and couldn’t cook etc, i started getting takeaways which i’ve never really done before as i hate junk food (or did!) unfortunately this triggered all my old issues, and i started binge eating (but without the other bulimic behaviours).

Now i’m in a real low point with my binge eating. I just can’t stop. I’ve gained 2 stone in the past year from bingeing and i recently calculated that i’ve spent nearly £2k on takeaways. I felt so low the other evening and was just sobbing but i couldn’t stop myself from ordering more food and bingeing. Im now bingeing multiple times every evening and it’s like i just can’t control it at all.

I hate myself and my body - i’ve never been so big and my clothes hardly fit. I just feel terrible but i don’t know how to stop.

has anyone else been here - does it get better? I’m really struggling :(

thanks for reading

Hi. Can I just start by saying, stop beating yourself up. Bulimia and binge eating are an illness. Would you tell yourself off for having asthma, or covid, for example? I'm sorry you are so distressed. I went to my GP about my eating. I was referred to a specialist food clinic, maybe you could get in touch with your GP and get a referral to one in your area too? I really wish you well, and sorry if I haven't been much help. The biggest thing I want you to take away though is to be kind to yourself, even if you do binge multiple times a night.

I hear you and I have been where you are time and time again. You WILL pull yourself out of it again, so don't be hard on yourself.

A good film to watch is 'That sugar film'. Its on amazon if you have it. I found that it helped to explain the cycle we get stuck in and cravings. In fact, I am going to watch it again to reinforce the understanding in my brain.