I saw the photos and I want to cry! How can I stop feeling so ashamed?

[feelingslightlyhorrified]

After months of looking forward to it, I went to a close family member's wedding at the weekend but unfortunately I was so busy in the run up that I don't think I paid enough attention to my own outfit.

I am at least 3 stone overweight but I wanted to branch out from my usual black/navy and bought (what I thought was) a lovely wrap dress. I tried it on once and liked it but on the day I felt like such a frump. I caught sight of myself in a window and my mood plummeted and despite the incredible joy of the day, I just couldn't get out of my own head.

I saw some photos today and it's just as bad as I thought. The dress was probably a bit too big, draped in all the wrong places and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. Several people told me I looked beautiful but in my head I'm just stuck on 'how did you let yourself get THAT fat?'

Obviously, I doubt very much anyone was actually looking at me - the bride and groom were far more interesting - but I still feel shame and disappointment in myself. I took the dress out of the washer today and if it weren't for the fact it cost £100, I would have thrown it in the bin.

Obviously this is a wake up call to get my arse into gear but I just feel such shame, as though I've finally seen myself how others see me and I don't even want to go out! I'm actually embarrassed to be me.

I've started WW today (the one thing that consistently works when I put my mind to it) but I'm just gutted I've let it get this bad. And also that on this special day that I'd looked forward to for months, I don't have any photos that I would happily share.

I wish I could be a woman who wears her curves with style and confidence but instead I felt like a fat barrel. Has anyone else had a time like this? Did it spur you on to make positive changes? I really could do with some hope.

WeightWatchers obviously isn't working if this isn't the first time you have tried it - I say this as 2 stone overweight PREVIOUS yoyo dieter myself.

You sound very like me and what I have eventually realised is that weight doesn't just plonk itself on you overnight, it creeps on ounce by ounce.

Trying to get it to dissappear in a fraction of the time you put it on is only ever a temporary fix. It requires a long term complete mindset change gradually until it becomes your norm rather than a deprivation.

This time round I started small, I halved my evening meal portion and fit in a brisk 30 min walk afterwards.

I didn't get instant results like I would usually when I start a diet but I still got to eat pretty much what I wanted just less of it and although I wasn't sweating from the exercise it was easy and I felt better for it (and less likely to have something sweet after I'd eaten).

I keep making little changes after I've got used to the last one, I've cut my breakfast and lunch portions as well now and I now take a big sodastream bottle of fizzy water with me to work that I drink when I get the urge for a coke.

The weight isn't flying off, it's creeping off but I can't ever see me going back to huge portions now I've got used to smaller ones and my 30 min walk has turned into an hour walk/jog with a podcast and is the highlight of my day.

I'm so sorry you feel like that. I'm sure we can all understand.

It's so easy to stand up straight and hold yourself in when you try an outfit and then that's obviously not how you carry yourself all the time.

I'm sure everyone did think you looked lovely, we are far harder on ourselves than others and I bet most would struggle to see what you see even if you pointed it out.

Put it behind you. Put the photos to one side, once you've lost the weight you'll find them easier to look at. Are there any that you can maybe zoom into to get a nice head and shoulders so you do have a few pictures you're happy with?

Good luck with the WW. It's a journey and you're more than your weight. Try to live your life whilst the pounds disappear.

@feelingslightlyhorrified don't beat yourself up about the photos. If you don't want to look at them ever again then you don't have to. If you want to put one on your fridge or wherever for motivation then do so. It's about you and what is going to make you feel good while you are making changes. Please don't stop being you and doing things you like doing/wearing what you want while on your journey. Still live! And good luck.

Hi @feelingslightlyhorrified
Please don't feel ashamed! I've spent hundreds on an outfit and pictures look nothing like how i thought i looked. I'm starting to perfect my look but it doesn't come naturally to me but i do try. Even celebrities with stylists get it wrong, that always makes me feel better! Xx

I had exactly this at not 1 but 2 recent events, I didn't learn from the first and could have probably rid myself of a stone between the two. I still feel sick when I scroll quickly past the photos with me in. It's horrible and self pitying. I really feel for you.
You've taken a step to lose weight though so well done for that.
Best of luck.

What@Iudncuewbccgrcb said, this is the way 👍