I don't know what to do anymore

[Beeeeeep]

I lost a lot of weight over a 3 year period (8 and a half stone). I went from morbidly obese to just outside the healthy BMI scale and never felt better in myself.

Unfortunately life got in the way, I've been struggling with mental health and started binging and comfort eating again. I've gained nearly 5 stone back. None of my clothes fit. My face shape has changed, I look awful, I am really struggling with seeing people I know who will never say it but will be thinking "what a shame she put all the weight back on" (especially as so many people never shut up about my weight loss)

Since 1st Jan I have been really trying to drop the extra weight but I've just gotten bigger instead. I tried going back to low carb as this worked for me initially when I lost the weight. After 3 months of being miserable I had lost no weight, tried Slimpod and same, after 3 months if doing that I weighed even MORE. I kept going with Slimpod but also started intermittent fasting, no weight loss. So I started counting calories which did see me drop some weight but I seem to never be able to stick to it consistently and have the discipline I need.

I am so desperate to get back to where I was, to feel good about myself again. I never thought I'd go back to feeling how I used to feel but here I am. I think I have royally fucked my metabolism because when low carb stopped working I started doing one meal a day and eating too little which led to more binging because I feel deprived.

I want a quick fix to kick me up the bum and make me feel less bloated, but I know this isn't the answer. I'm so tired of constantly thinking about food, weight, how I look, all I see when I look in the mirror is a fat failure.

You haven’t messed up your metabolism if this works I started counting calories which did see me drop some weight, so all is not lost.
I don’t know what’s slimpod is or what it costs but maybe some counselling to discover the roots of your comfort eating might help instead?

8.5 stone is a huge amount, a whole person! You did amazingly well to lose all that, you have slipped a bit but haven’t gone up to pre diet weight. You CAN get back to where you were, you are not a fat failure, just take it one day at a time and be a little kinder to yourself. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Next time you look in the mirror find one good thing, even if it’s ‘my hair looks nice today’ or ‘I have nice eyes’ or ‘I have a lovely friendly smile’. Do that every day.

I can't offer any advice, but I could have written this for you. Lost 8 stone and gained back 3.5 in the last 2 years completely isolating myself and cannot stop binging. The more I worry about my weight the worse my binging is and the more I try to lose weight the more I gain.

it's such a vicious circle. u lose weight feel great, put it on, mental health kicks in and the pending doom stops u from losing. i think i should concentrate on your mental health first, stop the dieting and really give yourself a break from weighing. start again when i feel more
positive. you have proven you can do it and you will again for sure, just cut yourself a break for a
while till u feel better, and have your plan better. counting calories is the only real way to lose and keep it off. but soo hard to do when in a negative frame of mind when u just want to binge/eat crap. i wish you well.

Try the 5 2 diet. Its really easy. You just don't eat more than 600 calories 2 days per week.
There is a thread on here somewhere

Thank you for the replies. I'm just so tired of trying all the time. I have spent 8 months trying to lose weight and I'm bigger than when I started.

Slimpod is a recording you listen to every night along with a series of videos to watch and a Facebook group you can join. It worked with my urges to binge and I haven't binged since I started it. I also stopped weighing myself and relied on the programme to help me on my way, confident that I was making changes, eating less and losing weight. However after the 3 months with no change in my clothes or measurements 8 decided to weigh myself and I had put on 3lbs. I THOUGHT I was making healthier choices, I just wanted to eat like a "normal" person and not have to fuss with counting syns, carbs or calories, but obviously I was overeating hence why I didn't lose any weight.

To the poster who said I haven't messed my metabolism up because the calorie counting was working, you are correct I think. I feel like a toddler having a tantrum because I just truly can't be arsed to count calories and every time I start I never see it through for longer than a week before I have an "off" day and I'm back to square one.

Sorry, just having a self pity party for one over here. Wish I could have a lightbulb moment and all of a sudden it just made sense and I just got on and did it!

How did you lose the weight the first time round?

I understand what you mean about the comments. All those comments about having lost weight shows that give it a lot of thought.

Oh sorry, I see you mentioned low carb.

I am so desperate to get back to where I was, to feel good about myself again.

I genuinely think you have this the wrong way about. I think when you feel good about yourself you will be able to get to where you want to be.