Fancy trying out the No Diet Diet?

[MrsThierryHenry]

I found this as a freebie in the Independent in Jan...since then I've bought the book and it's really great. I lost half a stone in three weeks without focusing on my eating or exercise, but by following the simple life challenges which the book describes. I'll paste my description of it which I wrote in a previous thread:

"...I am doing something which is amazing and:

1. doesn't leave you feeling hungry
2. doesn't require willpower
3. will help you refocus your whole life, and
4. lose weight at the same time, and
5. apparently people who follow this keep the weight off for good.

Well I've only been using it for a few weeks so I can't confirm whether point 5 has happened yet! It's a book which was serialised in the Independent in Jan - I bought the book a few weeks ago.

It's called the No Diet Diet. The principle is that we all get into bad habits (not just connected with eating) and that even if we lose lots of weight by following a diet, if we still keep our old behavioural habits they lead us back to where we started in the first place - i.e. overeating and underexercising .

I've learned (through changing my habits little by little) that I can be more confident, I can demand what I want of people without being apologetic, I've discovered a whole range of foods I wouldn't have tried before, and I've learned that I can get loads more done throughout the day than I realised. Yes, this is still the same weight-loss programme I've been telling you about.

I can honestly say that it's helped me lose about half a stone in 3 weeks without consciously changing my diet, so I've not had that horrible guilt/ yearning about foods you shouldn't eat. You can buy it on Amazon - the book details a very simple, positive course which lasts 5 weeks. It's only about £7 quid, I think - I'm sure it's cheaper than WW as well!"

So - anyone want to join me?

What an interesting read this thread is. I have not been on MN for some time and am looking for ideas to try and change my yoyo dieting lifestyle and help me get through a difficult time. I am in the throws of grief as my dad died in January and to start with I was drinking lots of wine to help with the pain, then onto brandy and then got ill with chest infection and now I am ploughing through so much chocolate I have put on a stone in 3 months. So I think I too will go out and purchase this No Diet Diet book and see if it can help me get new ideas on how to deal with my way of dealing with bad stuff ie. turning to drink/chocolate!

Piscesgirl, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'm grieving too - my brother died in November. You're in good company.

xxx

Thank you for your message - I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your brother. My grief seems to have taken over my life and has brought on severe panic attacks - so while I am housebound I will have plenty of time to read the book! I will be watching out for more progress posts on the No Diet Diet. Hope all goes well with you xx

Piscesgirl, it sounds like you're having a hideous time. Are you getting professional support?

Everyone experiences grief differently, and each experience of grief is different - even for the same person. I've lost three members of my family in a short time and each time I grieved in vastly different ways.

At the moment it sounds as as though you're probably unable to handle the fact that your father is no longer around. Perhaps you have always found it challenging to cope with emotionally heavy situations? Or perhaps there was something particular about your relationship with your father which has made it so hard to cope with his passing?

It certainly won't help if you have some responsibility for dealing with items from his estate (especially if you're handling the legal side of things), as this in itself can be an incredibly weighty task. My younger brother and I had to clear out my older brother's house a few months ago. The only way I could deal with it was to shut down and not allow myself to think about it personally.

I have a degree in psychology and while I'm not a trained psychologist I do know enough to know that you really, really ought to look into getting professional support. The reason for this is if you don't start now you'll find that things may quite possibly become far worse. I'm sure you can already see that it's having an impact on your relationships and even just your ability to do normal, simple tasks. I'm afraid this probably won't go on its own.

Sorry, I've been really presumptuous - maybe you are already seeking help? Please don't feel that you have to bare your soul here, by the way. Just think about what I've written, and I really hope you get the support you so clearly need.

Also since things are so overwhelming it might not be the best time for you to do the NDD. Even though I'm not experiencing trauma like you are, I've still found it hard over the last 3 weeks to focus on finishing the last chapter (am about to start it again for the 3rd time!). If you do do the NDD now and then find you give up part way through, it may add self-disappointment to everything you're already feeling. I'm sure you have plenty of painful feelings right now without adding to them.

My heart goes out to you.

xxx

Piscesgirl, I was talking about you with a friend who's a very experienced counsellor. I hope you don't mind. From what you have written, she agrees that the level of trauma you're going through is very worrying, and that you really should find someone who can support you professionally.

There is one thing she says you should be aware of; apparently some forms of therapy can be more damaging than helpful, e.g. some forms of psychodynamic (i.e. Freudian) therapy make the client relive the traumatic experience through hypnosis, etc. This can have the effect of retraumatising, rather than creating space for healing.

There is a less invasive approach which my friend has been training in: it's called 'Human Givens'. The basic idea seems to be that we all have a range of needs and that if there is an imbalance in terms of these needs being fulfilled, it can cause distress. It is apparently becoming influential across many walks of life including state education, Surestart, and many businesses are also taking it up. Therapists train in this approach, you can read more about it here. There's a list of the 'human givens' (needs) on this page; you might feel that more than one of these relates to your current situation. You can also find a therapist on this website.

Please also talk to your GP as they will be able to refer you to someone - you could show them the info on Human Givens if you are interested, or if someone you know can recommend a good therapist, all the better.

One thing - beware of any therapist who typically sees their clients for years at a time. If that is the case it most likely means that their methodology is not as effective as it should be. Also you should not feel obliged to settle with the first person you see, though you should probably try a few sessions before deciding.

I cannot stress enough how important it is that you find someone who can help you to work through this effectively. From what you've written you need to start to process your grief otherwise it will overwhelm you completely. It is not too late, and it is possible to change things. You can and will get through this, but you definitely need someone to guide you through it.

Please write and say how things are with you. xx