Managing Weight loss when you were previously anorexic

[SweetSakura]

I was anorexic in my early twenties following a series of awful bereavements/traumas.

I recovered and stayed sensibly healthy until my mid thirties when I developed a health condition that took years to diagnose,. during which time I gradually gained weight but couldn't exercise due to the illness and was nervous about dieting because I didn't want to slip into anorexic patterns.

Post diagnosis I have been treated with a heavy dose of steroids and ballooned in size. This isn't my anorexic head speaking, I weight 14 stone and am 5ft 4. I have to lose weight, but somehow need to do so without slipping into anorexia.

I'd welcome any advice or thoughts from people who have been through this.

My plan at the moment is calorie counting and gentle exercise (my illness will prevent me slipping into the old habit of excessive exercise).

(am gradually tapering off the steroids now as they made me very ill, I was pretty much bedbound by the time my neurologist concluded it was the steroids making me more ill rather than better)

I had bulimia for many many years, addicted to exercise and was very skinny for a long time as a result. I am now mentally better down to psychotherapy and medication. (Also time and finding my soulmate) I'm very overweight due to keeping food inside and the meds I am on.

I'm 86.5kg at the moment and losing weight so I can have a tummy tuck. I am calorie counting but also taking Orlistat (don't often take them as I am trying to eat very healthy) bulking meals out with either veg or salad.

I get you, it's really difficult to find a balance between trying to lose weight and not becoming fixated and reverting back to past behaviors. The only way it's working for me is how mentally more stable I am.

My advice would be, really have a think if it's the right time, emotionally that is. If it is, go slowly and try and get as much support from friends/family as possible.

It is possible, and you can get there, my past issues still try and sneak in sometimes but have faith in yourself

You're right, part of it is that now I do feel very stable, I have a good job and things are generally good. But I feel really nervous that it's a tricky line to tread,.losing weight but not getting caught in anorexic patterns of thought

And, if I am really honest with myself, I know I am "overestimating" calories eaten, and also panicking about meals where I maybe don't know the calorie content /don't know what the meal will be. And I am not sure that is normal sensible dieting behaviour...

It may be 'normal and sensible' to people that haven't had eating disorders but it's definitely not good or helpful for those that have.

I have got around this so far by having ready meals and snacks with the calorie content on them and trying to record all food on the free myfitnesspal site. I haven't been out anywhere for food, but if I do will try and make sure it has the calories listed.

It is a conscious effort to stick to the amount they say and I do have to make sure I don't add extra on that aren't there.

Have you got a partner who can help you? (hubby keeps an eye on me im sure lol) x

@BusyCaz I have wondered about doing that, sticking to ready meals etc so i know the content and can't overestimate...

I have thought about talking to DH but I don't want him to stress and overfocus on what I eat or I am worried it will make me worse.
Argh it's such a minefield!

@SweetSakura If he is anything like mine, DH will worry about you regardless if you chat to him or not, so it's always best to involve them if possible, it's a partnership after all

Anyway we do it we are always going to have a difficult time of making sure we don't slip back into bad habits, bloody eating disorders seem to be for life (I liken it to being an alcoholic, your either on the wagon or off the wagon)

We are older and the kids have all grown up and left home so it has been quite easy for me to buy ready meals and add salad or veg depending on the type. It's not particularly healthy with most being UPF but if it's a doable safer way then that's good enough for me x

I'm sure your right @BusyCaz ..and I agree with the alcoholic analogy, I know it's always there, and dieting for me is like an alcoholic trying to have a glass of wine a night. But I have to diet, I can't stay 14 stone.

Am going to try and chat to DH and come up with a plan that means I somehow tread that careful path.

Good luck @SweetSakura

Thank you, and to you, it's helped to talk to someone who gets it

No experience but I wanted to wish you luck and to suggest that you talk to your GP or practice nurse given your history. Would that make sense?

I just think that you may need expert advice given your background, and well-meaning posters on here who’ll be along with diet plans like fast 800 and keto, aren’t going to help.

Look up RebelFit.

Yes am pondering that, I guess i feel like it will be hard for a GP to believe that someone who weighs 14 stone (at 5ft 4) is worried about anorexia and that they will think I am silly.

Am definitely planning to stay away from any extreme diets. Am doing calorie counting aiming for 1-2 pounds a week.

I just thought I would update from time to time in case anyone else Googles this question or similar, and also to keep an eye on myself.

So far I am doing ok, i',ve lost just over half a stone since i started weighing myself 6 weeks ago (I suspect I lost a bit for a few weeks before that too but I wasn't weighing).

I am finding it very easy to keep to the calorie limit I have set (1400) and its more a case of making sure I don't drop too far below it. I have only had a couple of days of being tempted to drop much lower and have made myself have something to eat to make sure I don't get into the "dangerous" zone I get into it I skip meals etc (a sort of buzzy feeling , it's hard to describe). I have 3 smallish meals a day and sometimes a piece of fruit as a snack depending how meals fall.

My head seems in a good space and I think that is the key, I think it would have been risky to try and lose weight when life was more volatile. I see a regular counselor but have to confess I haven't talked through my dieting, I guess part of me is afraid of talking about it with other people and perhaps losing some "control".

I have lost some of the awful moonface from steroids now (mine was very dramatic ) and that is helping my self esteem as well, it was awful looking in the mirror and not recognising myself.

I think it's still going to be a risky journey losing weight but I need to for my health