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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Three weeks into diet and I feel rebellious

16 replies

gingerpink · 11/06/2023 12:10

That's it - I'm three weeks into a diet and I feel rebellious - I've lost 4lbs and I've been counting calories and thinking I might have cracked it finally after loads and loads of failed diets

I find myself wanting to cheat and to pick at things. What's going on? What can I do to help myself keep going?

OP posts:
BusyCaz · 11/06/2023 12:27

It's normal, I find myself missing Strawberry and Cream slices, a pack of 2 of course lol.

I've been making sure to save about 200 calories for an evening snack, and have a few random grenade bars in the cupboard, so a sweet treat, but not as bad as it could be.

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 11/06/2023 12:31

Could you remind yourself of all the reasons you want to lose weight? Look at photos of yourself when you were slimmer and tell yourself you can get there again. Do something nice - paint your nails, go for a walk, have a soak in the bath...whatever you enjoy most. Order something lovely from your favourite clothes shop in a size smaller....then stick with it so it will fit soon. Good luck!

Greatdomestic · 11/06/2023 12:39

Ginger, you are doing so well. As pp has said remind yourself why you are doing this, and all the positives it will bring.

Have a big drink of water and do something else to take your mind off it.

I am a classic self sabotager and after 2-3 weeks on a diet I always want to hit the fuck it button

redbluepink · 11/06/2023 12:48

Thank you you're all right I just need to keep at it and think positive.

I wonder if I should change tack slightly, so instead of counting calories just aim to eat less, I know the rough calories for most of what I've been eating, so maybe I should just keep to that and not bother with counting. What do you think?

gingerpink · 11/06/2023 12:53

Sorry I changed my name on my iPad

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 11/06/2023 14:01

It is absolutely a 'thing' with trying to follow a diet, first complying with the restrictions then at some point rebelling. I know, because my 'compliant' phase tends to not even last to the first meal.

I picked up some brilliant tips from Gillian Riley https://eatingless.com

Her approach isn't so much about what diet and much more about the process you go through when purposefully restricting your own diet.

Like lots of these things, it's pretty simple but it really did take me some time to work through it and be able to do it for really. Now, though my weight has been stable for a good long time at a healthy BMI. I still have to ask myself 'how will I feel, when I have eaten this and for the hours thereafter' when choosing for my self what I'm going to eat.

Love feeling good about my choices. It's magical how happy I feel about feeling good about my choices.

I had always thought I'd eat well when I felt good about life. Imagine my surprise when I really understood that looking after myself, with good quality food, is what literally makes me feel good.

Hope it works well for you.

redbluepink · 11/06/2023 15:10

Thanks @FinallyHere it sounds like you've done really well with G Riley. I've dipped in and out of her stuff and although I do like her approach I've never been able to sustain it and lose weight - not that I've managed to lose weight much with any diets! - although I lost weight doing quite extreme dieting about 5 years ago which probably messed up my eating and hunger and fullness signals. I worked out from reading G Riley that I also have this compliant then rebellion approach to diets - I'm only rebelling against myself aren't I.

Did you find the books useful? Did you do her course?

redbluepink · 11/06/2023 15:24

Ps I'm gingerpink too

Itisyourturntowashthebath · 11/06/2023 15:42

Yep, SomethingPink you are rebelling against your self.

Any chance of finding a way to rebel constructively?
Go and buy a vegetable you have never seen before and cook it in a way that would shock your mother. Even better if you can also find a non food way to rebel, naked star jumps in the hallway when you hope everyone has gone to bed. Use your imagination.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 11/06/2023 16:55

redbluepink · 11/06/2023 12:48

Thank you you're all right I just need to keep at it and think positive.

I wonder if I should change tack slightly, so instead of counting calories just aim to eat less, I know the rough calories for most of what I've been eating, so maybe I should just keep to that and not bother with counting. What do you think?

Don't do this! I always do this and put the weight back on. Keep counting those calories, just make sure you allow for a few treats in your allowance

FinallyHere · 11/06/2023 19:54

@redbluepink

I've done Gillian Riley as you say, on and off for years. Books, in person seminars and then online. Absolutely understood the approach but as you say, it would last for a while and then, just as if I'd flipped a switch, I'd be back my bad habits.

The most recent time I had a sense of urgency about it all, thinking I'm now in my sixties and if I don't do it know, when will I ever get down to it. Also seen people to whom I am close have very different experiences of their later years depending on their weight and health.

Knowing that I had done this so, so often I arranged for an hour of 121 time with Gillian, during which I could raise real questions absolutely focused on my own situation. So I knew all the standard answers but could say but ... and really dig in deep.

Don't think I turned out to be any different to anyone else, but I'll explain incase it's of any interest. I suspect it's actually the process of having that aha moment that may well be different for everyone.

When I had done this 'programme' on previous occasions, I had thought that I was really on board, doing everything properly. Choosing, clear about my motivation etc.

What was actually happening, was that the act of signing up for another book, or course or whatever was enough to flip my into compliance, whereupon I was 'eating perfectly' on plan. At some point, I would flip back to rebellion and wooosh, I'd fall off the wagagain.

Gillian suggested I try choosing what to eat according to how I would feel once I had eaten it, and for up to the next 24hrs.

That really worked for me. (And I'm sure it was mentioned as an approach fairly early on, no matter how you review the material. )

For example, I used to eat loads of sweets and chocolates. I also know that the first bite or chocolate in the easiest to resist. When I think about having done chocolate, which I do really very often indeed, I ask myself how will I feel ... and whether I would prefer to resist the first or the second (or subsequent ) chocolates.

That's usually enough though

The second line of defence is to occasionally eat 'a bit of rubbish' just to prove to myself that I can have some and stop. Knowing that I can have 'a portion' of anything and then stop is what gives me the freedom to keep going.

Those two tricks have kept me going for some time without feeling that resentment.

Other things that helped me were doing the Zoe project and wearing a continuous glucose monitor for a fortnight, so that I saw the reaction of my blood sugars as independent corroboration of how my body feels after eating sugar and simple starches. I've eaten low carb ever since (see low carb bootcamp threads here on MN). Having stable blood sugar means I just don't get those awful feelings of having to eat.

A lot of my eating turns out to have been entirely not for any reasons connected to hunger. Often in order to avoid feeling hungry later on, as well as a sign of being bored or otherwise angry at someone, often myself.

Which takes me back to considering how I will feel after I've eaten something. It's amazing quite how good I feel when I feel myself well. It's always expect led it would be the other way round - eat well

Please feel free to DM me, id be happy to bore for England on this my specialist subject - please do warn me here if you do so, S I use the app but can only pick up DMs from the website.

FinallyHere · 11/06/2023 20:17

Oh, and drinking loads of water and possibly most importantly, feeling the desire to eat something and just staying with it. Accepting the discomfort as the price of not over eating. And proving ghat you don't die of unsatisfied desire. 😁

Twiglets1 · 12/06/2023 05:57

Self sabotage is a very real thing on diets. I’m losing weight at the moment, it gets boring. I’m making sure I always have strawberries or raspberries in the fridge and can polish off loads but it’s better than reaching for the chocolate in the evening. They are expensive but I tell myself I’m worth it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Words · 12/06/2023 06:33

I think there are two aspects to tackle: the emotional and the metabolic.

For the emotional side of things, thinking things through really helps. Also carefully observe what your triggers are- they could be emotional, or stress related; you might be craving a 'treat', or bored; or it may be hormone- related. Think how you can tackle this in other ways than with food. Knowledge is power and all that.

In terms of metabolism, try to avoid foods that spike your blood sugar. This includes low fat processed items as they are often full of sugar. In fact, avoid ultra processed chemical-laden food completely. It's designed to be addictive.

Don't forget that 'healthy' sugars such as honey and tropical fruit will also spike your blood sugar, and in all likelihood cause a crash and craving a couple of hours later. I once had some fresh pineapple for breakfast, and whoah! That set me off big time.

Instead eat lots of veg, and good quality protein. Drink enough water. Sometimes the brain confuses a thirst signal for a hunger one. Cook from scratch as much as you possibly can. Moderate your carb intake as carbs convert into sugar also. Reducing wheat based things such as bread and pasta also aids weight loss.

I don't want to derail your thread with a debate about calorie counting, only to say it has never worked for me long term. I eat lots of full fat dairy and have lost four stones over two years. But whatever works for you is the important thing.

All the best - you can do this!

redbluepink · 12/06/2023 17:02

Finallyhere. Ice sent you a DM.

redbluepink · 12/06/2023 17:03

Thanks for your replies it gives me lots to think about

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