Why can’t I lose weight?

[Whereismyfairytale]

Hi, I just need help with figuring out what’s going on.
i am approaching 40, have been overweight and in more recent years significantly overweight for most of my adult life. I have a terrible sweet tooth and I know I use food as a comfort.
i had gestational diabetes when pregnant which makes the risk of developing type 2 diabetes much greater, despite this I have continued to gain weight.
i am now at the point where I feel awful, I no longer have days where I feel remotely good about myself, I just feel disgusting and self conscious all of the time.
i know that my life would be significantly improved by losing weight, all of the things that make me unhappy that are associated with my weight would not be an issue and I know I would feel 100% better. I am an educated woman, I know how to lose weight and I know what to do to lose weight, I know what works for my body so why don’t I do it? Why do I find it so difficult to imagine my life without my comfort foods to turn to? And I don’t even know why I comfort eat so how can I even begin to figure it out when I don’t even know why I do it in the first place?

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Have you had any therapy to explore those feelings? Is everything that makes you unhappy really caused by your weight? I doubt that losing weight would solve everything even if you did feel better about yourself. You are more than a number on a scale/your dress size/your body etc

I have a terrible sweet tooth and I know I use food as a comfort.

Same here but after gaining several stones due to steroids I'm nearing the point of struggling to move due to excess weight. So I'm changing my snacks to protein bars and upping my water content. I did try protein puddings but found them vile but others seem to like them.

This way I still get to munch but the snacks are more filling. I've found my appetite has slightly changed after 4 days so will continue looking at different protein snacks such as Greek yoghurt.

Have you had counselling, OP, about whatever baggage you're carrying?
Therapy may not fix your weight issue but it could still make you happier in other ways, at a minimum.

Whenever we watch 600 lb life, what is striking of course is how much psych damage those people are carrying. Their real problem isn't the weight, it's a whole legacy of emotional issues that result in a huge external symptom.

ps, and if therapy seems impossible, try OverEaters Anonymous.

I've been able to lose weight by reading a lot about nutrition and listening to podcasts.

It's made me realise just how eating properly makes you feel so much better.

But do one thing at a time. For example, try having a protein breakfast to avoid a sugar low a couple of hours later.

Then once you've got that sorted maybe cut out some of the starchy carbs at other meals.

Check out Jessie Inchauspe on Instagram or read her book The Glucose Revolution as she suggests eating your food in a particular order (ie carbs last) to help stop blood sugar spikes which then lead to sugar cravings.

If you take it slowly it will be so much easier to cut out the sweet stuff.

Hi, I’ve read a few of those bits. Do you use any of the tips and if so do you notice them working?

@orangegato I do the eating veg +vinaigrette before I eat anything else and also get up and move around after meals.

It's made me so much more aware of blood sugar spikes so I rarely eat anything sweet on its own any more.

I've cut out sugar on the whole and probably have one portion of carbs per day. I've been eating lots of veg, nuts, olive oil etc.

I've lost 15.5 lbs in 12 weeks which I'm more than happy with. I've decided now that this is how I should be eating so can't see it changing in the future.

So I don't know if those tips are working particularly as it's part of a healthy eating plan. But it certainly isn't doing any harm.

I feel so much better for it. The only problem is I've become a bit evangelical about it 🤣

Thank you for the advice everyone.
it probably sounds ridiculous but my weight really is the only thing that makes me unhappy, I’m a generally pretty happy and positive person, I enjoy my life (for the most part) and I (again for the most part) like myself, I’m an attractive person and have a personality that most people seem to quite like, I have great friends and a good family and I adore my DC. Literally the only thing that gets me down is my weight and how it makes me feel, the things it stops me from doing, how I’m self conscious of it, can’t wear certain clothes, can’t do certain things, feel unhealthy, the list goes on.
i think it’s pretty obvious that I have quite disordered eating but I just don’t know why or when it started. I’m already in therapy for PNA so maybe I need to explore the eating issues there, and look at OA.

Do you calorie count?

OP you sound so like me!
I have 3st to lose.
Am 47.
Happy. Good job. Lovely friends, fam.
Attractive. Just overweight and it feels so hard to figure out why sometimes. I think about it every day.
It's piled on slowly over last few years
I'm eating low carb / sugar right
now and feeling better for it.
Trying to exercise.
Would you like a weightloss buddy?

OP honestly I get it. I am an educated professional woman with a great job and family. I have no mental health issues. I'm 7/8 stone overweight which I find extremely embarrassing and my only excuse is I love food, I do not watch what I eat (or I didn't) and maybe some sort of inherited genes as one of my parents is very similar. I'm often very pragmatic and think oh well this is how I am, I have great clothes and nice hair, I can style this out. Then I see a photo or catch my reflection and just think FUCK.

I've lost weight a few times but I've always been overweight - just varying extremes. It got to a point 5 weeks ago that I just thought I need to stop or I'm actually not going to fit into my current (fattest) clothes. I don't want to buy size 22 jeans. And I certainly don't want them to feel tight. So I'm following a 'body reduction plan' (not a diet!) and I'm loosely doing the fast 800 as I need some speedy results to motivate myself. Its hard and it's joyless but for some reason I am suddenly determined. I've been determined before so I hope this time I can last a bit longer. And I also keep telling myself that even if I ever manage to loose 8 stone - well goodness knows what state my skin will be in but I'll deal with that, and if I want to stay that size I will never be able to eat the way I would like to.

One bonus of joyless eating is suddenly my digestion has improved after a gallbladder op a year ago. So that's good. And maybe I will lose enough to wear shorts this summer? Who knows. Come along for the ride but my experience is something somehow has to switch in your head and you need to find a will of steel to do this. Maybe you don't have nearly so much to lose as I do - but I'm hopeful we can both do it!

@JoeLovesGina thank you for your response. I’m half arsed trying to eat things in order, exercise after meals etc, mainly because I get severe cravings and hoping blood sugar spikes are to blame.

So far been ridiculously ravenous anyway, but I think I just need consistency and to actually have a bit of patience 😅

I've started iron tables - i've always been severly low and that can make you crave sweets. Trying new ones and it is having some effect. I'm also now listening to pod casts to try and stop the sugar cravings. It's my last try and if nothing then there's nothing left. I get high cortisol from exercising - also makes me fat. So if this fails i'm ever so tempted to try liposuction and see if they can suck it away.

Hi, I would love to be weight loss buddies, how does that work exactly?

@Whereismyfairytale we can talk through our plans for the week on here if you like?
Weigh in on a particular day?
Share what works and what doesn't?

So today I'm:

Going to wait to eat until 10am which will give me a 15hr window of not eating.

Only eating veg, fruit, fish, and dairy. (So no bread/pasta/wheat containing food - as have heard this is good for sore joints)

Not buying anything sugary!

Aiming to do at least an hour of exercise every day. Walked for 1.5 hrs yesterday at sunset. It was lovely.

Been reading a lot about trying to get stress levels down, as it really helps hormone fluctuations - am peri menopausal.

Oh also trying to drink more water as always forget to do this!

Aiming for a slow loss at 2lbs a week.

I am 14.st 3lbs this morning. Would LOVE to be seeing the 13's next week.

What are your plans for today?

Your weight would have escalated around the time when something traumatic happened to you, maybe someone offered you food and you felt good afterwards and that became your 'alcohol'. The escape and numbing substance.
You could replace food for alcohol in your OP. There is a psychological dependency on food as a maladaptive coping mechanism. To successfully disentangle yourself from using food as a crutch you will need to develop new 'escape and numbing' mechanisms that are healthier for you such as meditation and exercise. Unlike food and alcohol, you need to do more effort to develop a liking for exercise and really get into meditation. During this period where you are looking for and hopefully developing a healthy addiction to something useful that lets you vent your frustrations and feelings, you need a support network and practical tips on how navigate the early days. A complete lifestyle overhaul. It could begin by not buying triggering food in the house so it's not there when you are in a moment of weakness but also work into your daily routine a morning and an evening exercise session or painting or whatever during your high stress and triggering times of the day so you are creating a new habit. Your TV in the evening might become reading, attending a course out of the house or going for a walk or being in the bath instead.
Make a list of your trigger food and trigger times of the day, week or month and then set out healthier replacements while you get help with processing whatever trauma or feelings you are suppressing and stuffing down with food (or alcohol or whatever).

I think it’s hard. For me food is a crutch and that goes back years. Emotional eating is my longest relationship, it’s very hard to break up with emotional eating. I need to loose at least 6 stone. We go on holiday in two months and once again I’m going to be fat on holiday. If you want a weight loss buddy, that would be great.

I would try changing your comfort foods. For example pineapple is so sweet and tasty you could substitute it for other sweeter foods.

Try iceberg lettuce, spiced tomato with salt, pepper, lemon juice and a little low fat mayo. It us really tasty and it only takes a week or two for you to look forward to it and lose the urge to eat fattier alternatives.

Breaking the psychological hold food has over us isn’t easy and that is what you are fighting. Have a fist sized portion of the foods you like and double yhe veg.

Thank you everyone, it’s hard getting time to reply on here sometimes.
So today I am determined, I have woken up feeling strong and with an iron will (but then I always do until I don’t) I’m doing low carb/sugar as that works very well for my body and I always feel so much better after a few days.
i think part of the problem is that realistically I have about 5 or 6 stone to lose and although I constantly picture myself slimmer, it’s hard if not nigh on impossible to imagine myself actually getting there, I keep thinking that even when I lose 3 stone which is a large amount, I’ll still have a large amount to lose and will not be happy with myself until it’s all gone, I suppose the journey seems pretty daunting, but there’s no other way so I get to the point where I feel defeated when I’ve barely begun.
i also forgot to mention in my original post, I have been wanting a breast reduction and uplift op for years, I have the money saved, I know which surgeon I want to use….I could get the op tomorrow if I was a suitable weight so I need to do it for that too as that would make a considerable difference to how I feel about myself. I feel so annoyed at myself that my weight is the only thing stopping me doing it, I said last summer that by this summer I would have lost the weight and had the op and here I still am🙄

would anyone who is on a similar journey like to swap numbers and have a kind of WhatsApp support group? I realise that folk might not want to swap numbers with people on the internet but I thought it might be easier than on here.

7 stone here @Whereismyfairytale . I'm here for long term!!