Have people been weird about your weight loss?

[Disfordiet]

I'm starting to get comments. I'm down 1.5 stones since September through healthier eating, smaller portions and some exercise. I was around BMI 26 and now I'm BMI 22.

Yesterday I had a weird comment saying I'd lost more weight but then again maybe not and I'm just looking crap after a long, cold winter! I'd been feeling much happier in my body recently with clothes fitting better and my face having done definition. I'm healthy and happy and I was a bit taken aback by the comment.

Other friends have made a few comments but only along the lines of have you lost weight/you look like you've lost weight, have you? I HATE comments about my weight after having an eating disorder for decades. My weight is personal and I think it's rude to comment.

Why do people think it's ok to comment? I've never mentioned dieting and don't dress any different. I prefer to be invisible if possible so I wouldn't draw attention to myself or any weight loss.

I've noticed a mum at school who lost several stone over the summer had an influx of wow you've lost so much weight comments and now she's always alone in the playground with no one talking to her.

Are people jealous? Feel threatened in some way? Are we all weird about food and diet and have body issues? I do, I know but IRL you wouldn't know that.

I'm probably not explaining this very well but is it a common thing with losing weight that people make comments? Have you lost weight and found yourself under scrutiny or losing friends? The comment yesterday has thrown me but my friend was a similar size to me last summer and maybe that has something to do with it.

I’ve not really lost weight yet (😒!) but general observation of people tells me you are not alone.

Yes, I feel people are either jealous, or threatened. If you were the same size as your friend, and made an effort to change that, there’s an unspoken implication that you found that body size and shape unsatisfactory, which people get defensive about.

It’s her problem to deal with though, not yours, and that comment she made was really nasty.

I'd be really proud and pleased for you op if you were my friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good points, thank you. I'm the same weight now as I was when I first met my friend about 7 years ago and that makes her comment seem even more odd. Although thinking about it her concept of weight is perhaps not based on reality. We were chatting once and she said how her relative was slim. He's overweight with a very pronounced rounded abdomen and thick neck and double chin so maybe I should take her comment about me with a large pinch of salt. Weight is such an emotive topic.

I lost a few stone post babies and my mum told me I couldn't lose anymore as it was making my sister feel bad 🤷‍♀️

Because society prizes being thin, especially for women. So when a woman becomes thin, or thinner, everyone notices and wants to 'congratulate' her.

I'm overweight now and need to lose it. Whenever I have got fit and healthy and dropped weight before, I always got weird comments. My goal weight is always around 9 and a half stone and at 5ft 3" that is not exactly skinny is it? It is a size 12 for me.

My MIL used to say I was anorexic at size 12, and someone else once got very upset and said "well, if you are happy to be that size, I suppose it is up to you" like I'd gone down to be a size 4 or something.

I've started avoiding the people that comment now. I'm likely to tell them not to comment if they do say anything again but knowing me if will come out wrong and they'll be offended and say they were giving me a compliment or something.

I lost 6 stone. Nobody I knew was weird - not one person. A few women my age whom I only knew by sight or to exchange the briefest small talk with but had vaguely known for years asked me in depth questions about how I did it, but nobody was negatively weird.

When I got into the healthy BMI range a couple of people said they hoped that I wouldn't lose any more but didn't say I looked ill or too thin.

The only negative thing is that women I don't know at all are less helpful than when I was fat, and some older are more leery/ slimy/ patronising. I could do without that.

Im comfortable at a BMI of 24 though - I think people aren't comfortable with the low end of healthy these days and do think it's getting into eating disorder territory perhaps. Cultural norms and all.

Yesterday I had a weird comment saying I'd lost more weight but then again maybe not and I'm just looking crap after a long, cold winter

That is a really, really passive aggressive comment your "friend" made there.

She knows full well you've lost weight (losing 20 lbs is definitely going to show on someone who isn't large to start with) and feels she has to comment but doesn't want to compliment you so instead turned it into a snarky put down.

I have no time for people like that, I'd be wary of her in future.

Yes, I've started being less available already especially after a comment about my daughter that went too far. I'm seeing a different side of her and it's not pleasant.

I lost 3st and someone I didn't know well said to me "don't lose anymore weight, you'll have no tits left" loudly in our very busy staff canteen. I'm quite high up in the company, I just wanted to curl up.

I think she's jealous. Losing weight and having self control is so difficult (I have lost and regained 2 stone and now trying to lose it again)
And also had very personal comments. It's like "ooo you were so fat before but I didn't want to say anything", well that's how I felt anyway.