How do I stop having an all or nothing attitude?

[Givemestrengthorvodka]

Basically, with eating and exercise, when I'm good I'm very good and when I'm bad I'm very, very

There is no good and bad. Everything in moderation as it were!

When you find out, let me know!

Following because I have this problem too 😶

It annoys me when people say (perfectly reasonably) that I can have a small treat. I really can't. A small treat to me is the green light to binge and eat crap for the rest of the day. That then turns into a week, into months and before you know it I've gained 3 stone back. Speaking from bitter experience.

I'm exactly the same as @pumpkintits and it really gets me down . I have no idea how to not be like this though

Sorry posted too soon...when I'm bad I'm very very bad. For example, Mon-Thu this week I did some sort of exercise/walking every day, finished eating by 6.30 every night, didn't eat any rubbish, all fresh food and home cooked.

Fast forward to Friday when I reason that life is too short to not have some wine and nibbles at the end of the weekend. But just doing that seems to snowball me into basically binging all weekend....bottle of Prosecco, Crisps, chocolate. I've just made a pot of Mars bar cake and eaten half of it. No exercise all weekend.

I do this kind of thing all the time and I just do not know how to stop. I need to lose At least 3 stone so it really is a problem. Any advice anyone, please!

I'm another one that's the same. I can't do moderation, it's all or nothing for me! Have lost significant amounts of weight multiple times - 2st, 1.5st, 2.5st. When I'm in the zone I'm really dedicated but it's short lived and when I fall off the wagon I fall hard!

I have found the idea of “food with no brakes” helpful. For me, sugar (but can treat with peanuts or cheese or crisps without freewheeling into eating frenzy). I do my best to avoid food w no brakes but also name it when it happens. And to think about how I want to eat (feed my body healthy nutritious food over the long term) rather than trying to create a calorie deficit. Also, accept that I will never be 10 stone, and that’s ok provided have healthy relationship with food and am eating healthily most of the time.

Maybe consciously add healthy things in? I fill myself up with water, veg and fruit in earlier part of day. I also only have sweeter food in that I enjoy but get sick of quickly. Eg I can’t eat more than 2 crème eggs but I could eat a massive bar of milk chocolate.

Look for Stu Graham, he on Instagram and does podcasts I listen to on Spotify. The current episodes are literally about an all or nothing mindset and how to break it etc. Good luck x

I’m a recovering binge eater who ate everything and anything mainly from takeaways (often ordering 3 times a day) during the early stages of the pandemic and didn’t do any exercise for that period either. I still have my binge moments so clearly not the expert in overcoming this , but one of the most effective ways I’ve come across is to avoid keeping things like packets of biscuits or multi-pack crispsin the house so it’s a lot more difficult to get my hands on if I suddenly have a craving.

I understand that’s not practical for everyone if they don’t live alone but that’s what works for me. Right now I have some chocolate croissants in but they are freezer ones which I need to stick in the oven and I feel that’s helped me to stick to one a day whereas a fresh ready to eat pack of 4 would have been gobbled up in one or two days.

i don’t usually make it to the gym but I have a YouTube playlist of videos like dance workouts etc I find those are fun and I’m more likely to do it. On days I really don’t want to exercise I try and do housework to burn some calories and improve my fitness.

trying to incorporate a bit of healthy sweetness into your diet reduces cravings too, for example a fruit protein smoothie or oats with a low calorie chocolate syrup.

Well it's one step at a time. One choice or not. So for example, aim to have at least a walk next weekend or don't make the cake. They gradually add up

Dr chatterjee does a lot about this and in his books.

He calls it planning for the bottom of the motivation curve for making sustainable change that you can maintain to make it a lifestyle/habit not a diet fad.

He says actually don't plan to hit the gym every day, or to only eat white fish and veg and zero carbs 7 nights. In order to get yourself away from binge and famine. Aim to reduce down to one take away a week/fortnight. Cut down on Diet Coke. Hit the gym three times a week. Eat three meals and one snack. Reduce comfort evening at the weekends. Basically target your weak areas but don't punish yourself. If you punish yourself you will soon be in reward mode.

Thanks all, I will check out Stu Graham and Dr Chatterjee, thank you Viva and Yerawizard (mumsnet is playing silly beggars and not letting me tag you in a post).

This weekend has been an absolute car crash but tomorrow is a new day.