Does your DP care?

[Rainforest6]

I've always massively weighed more than my DP, who has hovered around the healthy weight for their body size. I think partly some of this is because DP has never really had to properly diet, just move about a bit more to lose a few pounds slowly. DP's probably never had more than 5-10 lb to lose in total where as I'm currently looking at losing closer to 100lb

I'm currently on a diet for 2 weeks and dp would like to lose a few Lb.

However any talk of dieting really gets their back up, DP is really against "diets" and talks about life style changes so if I try and track calories theres lots of bristling about it.

I've been trying to do it in the least overt way, we are eating normal dinners for us, I've just meal planned our more healthy pics and taking smaller portions.

I've had some past attempts that have fizzled out like most people so I think it's Just assumed this will go the same way.

They've not asked anything about it or commented. I casually mentioned that I've lost 10lb over the last 2 weeks which isn't uncommon for me as the initial weeks often are dramatic and it plateaus a bit as my bodyadjusts. I prefaced it by saying its probably a bit of water weight but it's a start.
DP said yeah, there's no way that you've lost that much that's like the same weight as (baby we know), did you just have a large poo before weighing yourself?

I laughed it off but was a bit hurt

Is it just incredibly boring to talk about stuff like this? Do your partners show an interest?

My partner listens but I know it doesn't interest him. I use Facebook groups and similar to chat and discuss all things weight loss!

DH listens and is encouraging, he even listened to me droning on about my exercise routine and what weights I like to use for different exercises god bless him.

We kind have the same ethos around what we are aiming for in terms of diet, he has a few winter pounds he wants to get rid of. (high protein moderate carb) He used to be overweight so gets it. We don’t talk about it much and I lose weight really fucking slowly (0.5-1lb a week) but if I share he is always like “well done!”

It’s a tricky one, because of course you want a bit of support. But if you yourself have said you recognise the early loss could be water weight, they probably don’t see there’s much to congratulate you on yet, especially if they can’t see a physical difference.

I have a friend that is forever on a diet of some sort, and will regularly tell me she’s lost half a stone or more, so I say well done, ask her how’s she’s done it etc. Next time I see her, she’s put it all back on again, sometimes more than she lost, and it starts all over again. Next time she’s proud to have lost it, I feel like I have to congratulate her again, but it’s the same half a stone going on and off, on and off and it can be quite boring. She also declines dinner invitations when she’s on her diet, even when we try and be supportive and say we can go somewhere with a healthy menu, agree that none of us need to drink etc. So maybe your partner (probably rightly) thinks you’d be better off making permanent lifestyle changes to manage the weight going forward, rather than diets.

Mines really supportive but I don't have loads to lose or talk about it much and I'm not a yo-yo dieter.

He comments more on the appearance changes than the weight itself as that's what I'm more bothered about.

We diet together. I push the exercise part though.

He understands I am not happy at my weight so wants me to be happy so will pretty much go along with most of my dieting ideas without complaining.

I agree that it needs to be a lifestyle as otherwise you could loose the weight and then go back to old habits and get back to your original weight.

We do calorie count at the moment on MFP however the long term plan is to establish a number of recipes and the corresponding calories so we know roughly how many calories we are eating without an app and also which meals should be a special once in a blue moon treat. Daily weighing and daily steps and regular exercise will be part of the ongoing plan though.

We are both dieting at the moment, but using different approaches. We respect that different things work for different people. I calorie count he doesn't. We're both aware lifestyle changes are also a key issue. We do support each other regardless. I'd be asking why he can't support me even if my approach wouldn't work for him. It's no skin off his nose to support you unless he's just an arsehole usually.

My DH is supportive (2.5 stone to lose) and encouraging but I have no doubt he is bored to death of it. You need to do it for you and be your own cheer leader. Maybe keep a food diary/log you weight/use an app like Happy Scale/join an online group or real life group you can talk to about your diet instead of your DH. I have been trying to lose weight on and off for 3 years but finally doing it this year (lost 13 lbs so far). It can be done. Congratulations on losing 10 lbs btw!