What am I doing wrong?

[ImBlueDab]

I've put on nearly 5 stone in the last 7 years, gone from 9 stone to almost 14. I have been trying to stem the gain but feel I'm fighting a losing battle.

I'm almost 50, menopausal, sedentary job but generally happy. My knee is fucked due to an accident in my youth, and with the extra weight is agony so exercise is minimum. Also for the first time I've got high blood pressure and on tablets.

Here's the issue, I've been calorie counting, but trying to be sensible, 1400 to 1600 a day, keeping off the alcohol except for a few gins on a weekend and trying to be healthy, lots of fruit and veg, home cooked meals. I've lost 3lb since Xmas but after a shitty day last week, have put it all back on, I had a reasonable weekend, really good yesterday and I've put 1 more lb on. This is the way it seems to go. It takes me ages to lose anything, then the slightest, tiny slip and it ALL goes back on, and then some.

I managed to get down to 12 stone 7, in about Sept/Oct last year after being really strict, but the Xmas holidays saw it all go back on, back up to 13 stone 3, which was my heaviest, and now up to 13 stone 10. It just keeps going up and up and up.

I'm trying to keep the motivation going but it's soul destroying, especially as I never had an issue with weight until my mid 40s

Any suggestions would be welcome

Are you tracking calories accurately? I’m guilty of picking at things and not tracking them but they all add up when on paper not eating a lot.

Sounds like you need some back-up. Are you eligible for the NHS digitsl weight management programme? It might give you the tools to work out what's going wrong and get back on track. What about some swimming - would that work with your knee? It should help the BP and might also help you feel better about yourself.

How tall are you?

Is 1400 to 1600 actually a losing set up for your age height low exercise and low muscle volume

Don't know about you but my issue is portion control, I eat far too much even if it's healthy!! Stickler for wasting food...

It’s a bit time consuming but the only thing that works for me is accurately weighing and logging everything I eat or drink on MyFitnessPal. The scales stay on the kitchen worktop and it does stop me from absent-mindedly having a biscuit or a piece of fruit while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. Weighing food is important - their database of foods and meals is huge, but some show calories for eg 100g and you need to check your portion size. I am always shocked that my usual portion sizes are often at least two ‘normal’ helpings.

I wear a Fitbit too, and use MapMyRun to track my exercise, which is almost exclusively dog-walking, and they are both synced with MyFitnessPal so my activity is logged.

I’ve had gallstone trouble after high-fat meals and am now checking labels for fat content. To see that one Walnut Whip is 148kcal, 7.2g fat, of which 4.2g is saturated, is pretty motivating to put it back.

I don't think tracking of calories is the issue here although you do need to track them. It's lack of consistency. It's not magically all going back on overnight, I think you know exactly how it's going back on.

Your daily calorie target isn't enough and is clearly not sustainable. It's better to lose the weight at a slower pace rather than lose loads quickly, get fed up of being hungry and eating it all back on again.

What activities are you able to do? Can you walk ok? Maybe add a walk in at lunchtime or in the evening. Swimming is also a great exercise of you have joint problems. Have you thought about joining a gym? There's plenty you can do that won't impact your knee. I have shit knees too and there's certain exercises I can't do or need to be careful with but I still managed 5 gym sessions a week. Don't write off exercise just because of a bad knee. There's plenty you could be doing.

Do you have any friends that could support you who maybe want to lose some weight too? It's always easier to lose with a buddy.

If your waiting for the motivation to come along and smack you in the face you'll get nowhere. You just need to be disciplined. Put the correct tools in place. Use my fitness pal to track food, a fitness watch to make sure you're getting your steps in. Recognise where your weaknesses are. If you tend to binge eat at night find something else to do at night. Don't have unhealthy snack food so accessible. When you're going out for a meal, check the menu before you go. Most menus have calories now. Pick a dish and stick to it when you get there.

Allow yourself a treat now and again. 1 treat day now and then isn't going to undo weeks of consistency. Don't think of it as being a diet. It should be a longterm lifestyle change. So it needs to be sustainable.

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to post.

I'm going to try and up my activity, swimming is a nightmare as you twist your knee when swimming (unless you're doing front crawl), so I'm going to look at other options.

I used to do Noom so still have the app which I use for tracking my calories. I'm trying to see it as a lifestyle change rather than diet as I know I need to change my relationship with food otherwise it'll just all go back on again (and more). I had a healthy day yesterday but woke up at 2am with the most horrendous back and stomach pain. I just feel generally shit most of the time, which means I'm tired today and trying to motivate myself to walk this morning, which doesn't help. Menopause is a bitch sometimes

Weight goes up and down
make sure you properly count all calories
need to be in calorie deficit
take weekly average of weight
weigh same time every day first thing in morning works well
be consustent
make sure you have enough protein 120g or more
drink plenry of water 3 litres per day
you only lose weight if in calorie deficient bottom line

Counting calories has never worked for me. I felt suffocated having to think about every single gram of food I ate.
If it's not working for you have you thought about a different type of diet?

Counting calories works you just counting it wrong

I would suggest looking at what you can do rather than what you can’t do. I had a herniated disc and I had to give up a lot of the exercise and weights I was doing and go to walking as it’s got better I can do a bit more so don’t give up just because you can’t do some stuff. There is seated cardio Or what about getting a stationary bike?

If you are desperate to loose weight I would strongly urge you to lay off the alcohol and treat weekends the same as you do mid week days. Use a calorie calculator and be honest about how much exercise you do and don’t eat back any calories. When you get more comfortable then add back an odd G and T or get alcohol free gin and slimline tonic which will be lower in calories

I like to get a walk in first thing so whilst it’s cold and dark I have been doing walking workouts on YouTube some are better than others and you can put as much effort in as you can and if you can’t do the move, then adapt it to something you can do. No one is watching so who cares! DH has a bad knee and can’t do some bits so at times he will March and do punches and I will be doing it and it changes. The workout still gets done though.

Perhaps incorporating some low-impact exercise that would be easier to complete given the situation with your knee injury? Something like swimming would be great exercise and is really easy on the joints.

Ultimately - weight loss and being able to be active is a lot more difficult in Winter I find. Once it starts to get brighter out, maybe try and incorporate some more walks after work.

Is the 1400-1600 every single day, or is that weekdays, and then higher at the weekend? Are you counting the gin and mixers in the allowance?

Also what height are you?

Agree with others, probably need to up your exercise, go for some long walks each week, and don’t let the knee be an excuse. Even bicep curls using cans while sitting down is better than nothing.

There are bound to be youtube exercise videos for people with lower body injuries. I would have a look. Track meticulously for a while. It may just be that being sedentary you don’t need many calories.

tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=40&g=female&lbs=168&in=62&act=1.2&bf=&f=1

If youre sedentary, eating 1600 all week and then having 3000 two days a week with alcohol and snacks that’s probably a surplus

Hi Op, how much water are you drinking? I'm currently dieting and been told to aim for 2.5 litres of water a day.

Could you cycle with your knee?

Intermittent fasting is your friend here. My problem is once I start eating I can't stop so I simply leave it as long as possible and then stuff my face for a few hours. I'm about 8 stone , 5.7 and eat a HUGE amount, chocolate, crisps - never track calories or carbs, drink wine at the weekend etc No idea but much more than 2000 and I have never been thinner.
I started by chance, not on purpose with the 16:8, now it is 20:4 but you will need to work up to that.
if you watch what you watch and do 16:8 or less you will lose weight. To shed weight you need to be more restrictive with the eating time, no more than 4 hours I think. You get used to it v v quickly too and I find it much easier than tracking calories and carbs. I have no willpower

As a PP has linked the TDEE calculator this is really helpful. Your maintenance calories are much lower than you think, the blanket 2000 is a rounded up figure and even if you reduce it to 1600-1700, this might not be enough of a deficit to make a difference.

For example I'm around 5' 10 and my maintenance calories are 1780 to lose weight I need to consistently reduce to 1280.

Intermittent Fasting is also hugely helpful and transformed my weight and attitude to the right foods.

I've been talking to a friend about intermittent fasting and might try this. I'm not a big eater in the morning so it fits with my natural body routine, and it's the snacking in the evening that is generally my undoing.

I'm 5'3" for those that have asked.

Does anyone have any good IF apps or websites I could use?