Why can't I motivate myself to get my shit together and lose weight

[Boswellonthesteps]

I am so so unhappy. I am about 5 stone overweight for my height and desperately need to lose it. I have pcos and I know how unhealthy it is to be this overweight, but I just can't motivate myself to do anything about it. I am constantly telling myself that I need to sort myself out and tackle it, but I just can't stick to it. Every year I think to myself I don't want to end the year feeling like this anymore as I'm just wasting my life being so unhappy

If you have managed to, or are still managing to, lose a lot of weight, how did you get started and more importantly how did you keep going? I always try, but I'm just addicted to food and I give up way too quickly

I am the same :( every December I promise myself that next December I will have lost weight and I end up weighing more. I can't seem to be able to just do something about it. Even if I lose some weight during the year it is back on by Christmas. Sorry, my post does not help you, OP. Hopeful bump.

Lost 2 stone over a year (in my 30’s) - thinking of it as a lifestyle change rather than diet, more veg and drinking more water, if you have a craving for something, just go for half portion of what you normally do. I started at a gym and slowly built myself up (in weights and number of exercises) helped so much with mental health and just remember that some exercise is better than none, little changes add up over time, you’ve got this 💪🏻

I've started 16/8 fasting. I've lost a whole 2lb last week 🤣....but its better 2lb off than 2lb on. Im only doing it Mon-Fri and have mainly cut out evening snacking. I'm also doing mini stepper workouts. I would be happy with a 2lb a week loss but we'll see how it goes. Can you make small changes rather than go dramatic?

I'm struggling too and getting to the point where I need to do something for my health (blood pressure, blood sugar, joints etc) if not anything else. I have chronic migraines (under the care of a consultant) and that puts a real spanner in the works as when I'm in pain I don't care much about my long term goals so diet and exercise goes out the window.

I have bought the Noom Mindset book as I think it is my attitude that really needs to change, and will read it over this weekend. I think after so many failed attempt you just lost belief in yourself and give up even if you still want to try. All the while you get fatter and your body gets more wrecked, you get older and you just think what is the point? I have some lovely clothes I'd like to wear but I'm too fat to fit them and will probably never wear them or dress how I'd like to again which is sad. Being fat really dents my confidence to do things and people do treat you different and judge you for being overweight. I am supposed to go to party tomorrow night but I know I'll back out at the last minute because I'm too ashamed of myself to go and even if I did I'd just hide in a corner all night.

All this should be incentive to lose weight but I just can't get myself in the right mindset at all, migraines are a big part of the reason why but then losing weight would probably reduce my migraines a bit.

I can't help with motivation I am afraid as when I am in the zone amd motivated I love it and get great results, but I cant put myself in the zone. My jeans dont fit at the moment and I refuse to buy a bigget size, so I am in the zone.

What I have realised is that I use food and booze for a dopamine hit and when I am getting that from exercise I can diet. They say exercise is only 20% of weight loss, but for me it is essential.

I have also learned that when you have a fair bit to lose you can actually eat quite a lot and still lose weight, it is pointless going in at a stupidly low amount of calories and then not being able to keep it up.

One analogy that really helps me if I have a bad day is if your tyre got a puncture would you think 'right that's it' and get out and puncture the other 3 too? I find it helps to just draw a line under a bad day and get back to calorie counting the next day. I also have one day a week where I eat maintenance calories so I can enjoy myself and not feel too deprived.

It’s reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one struggling. I’m fine during the day really, I eat healthily but then in the evenings it all just goes to shit and I eat everything in sight

@OneForTheRoadThen that is so true! If I overeat one day I just go totally off the rails for the rest of the week as it seems like there’s no point when I’ve already ruined it

I found it really helpful when someone mentioned the idea of the first thought and the second thought. I think it comes from addiction psychology. Basically if wanting food is your first thought, ask yourself what’s your second thought - are you lonely, are you craving comfort, what do you really need?

Also learning about the idea of being ‘mouth hungry’ helped me loads. I’ve started drinking lots of interesting flavours of coffee (Beanies, Littles) and tea (Bird & Blend) so I can taste something nice or sweet without eating.

Don't buy the stuff in the first place.
I know, easier said than done.

I'm not overweight OP and never have been, but I'd advise you not to look at it as a diet. You have to get in the mindset that your entire lifestyle needs overhauling. Look on the British Heart Foundation website for recipes, I find they are very good.

But given that you say you eat decent food during the day and then it all goes to pot in the evening, I wonder if you'd have time to go to classes at the gym or do a youtube video in the evening to break the habit of eating? A bit of beginners yoga or something low impact that can be done instead of turning to food (maybe through boredom or emotional eating) If you substitute the food for exercise in the evening then you are creating a new habit.

Best of luck.

I'm the same OP!

Have about 20lbs to lose to get to a happier/comfortable weight. My goal was to lose 5lbs in each of Jan/Feb/March ready for a holiday at the beginning of April. And I've done sweet FA.

Got a busy weekend food-wise, and other people are cooking/preparing for us so not my choice what I have. I need to get this weekend out of the way and start on Monday.

Hi @Boswellonthesteps 👋
Just popping on this thread to say you absolutely can lose this weight!
As I'm trying to type this I have my daughter talking loudly in my ear so I'll try to be concise as I can bearing that in mind 🤣
I was always smaller until my last child 10 years ago then piled on the weight.
Tried to lose it lots of times over that period & lost a bit then put it back on.
This year we got a dog & I started walking daily with the dog. Around March I decided to try sort my diet out because I was getting all this extra exercise I wasn't doing before (just the dog walking).
Downloaded the free version of MyFitnessPal & started using it.
You enter your weight/height/age etc & goals. It put me on 1200 cal per day for weight loss due to my height (if you're tall it might allow you more).
Since March 2022 to now, actually until around October I've lost 4 and a half stone total. I maintained that weight since. I smashed my original goal & got to my ideal weight.
If I can do it absolutely anyone can.
Just make sure you get your steps in & figure out a low cal diet. I like toast a lot so use the 60 calorie bread. Porridge every morning.
I found it helped me to stick with a lot of the same things everyday for lunch & breakfast so I didn't have to think about it. Enter absolutely everything into MyFitnessPal to count calories.
Best of luck to you you can do this!

Just to add I only weighed myself every 2 weeks or so because I found it disheartening if the scales didn't shift. When I was at the height of losing weight I tried not to eat back the extra calories I'd walked off. I have the dog relying on me to walk then so couldn't skip out on the walk!

Yes this.
I'd buy the treats for the rest of the family in the grocery shop that I didn't care for. Don't have the stuff you cave for in the house.

You can all do it ladies! You do have to calorie count though.
Never tried the fasting thing not sure it would work for me as I'd get too hungry.

@billowingskirts I’ve logged on for first time in years because I was very similar to you especially with migraines and wanted to see if my experience would help you. I decided in 2020 when WFH in covid that I would never get another chance to sort myself out and took up running. I lost almost 3 stone in 6 months and have mostly kept it off (fluctuating half a stone) but most importantly I now hardly ever have a migraine and when I do they’re much less severe. I am now back in the office so run on my two WFH days and once on a weekend. I find when I exercise I don’t want to “waste” the effort I put in so eat much better. I’ve made it my routine so I don’t wake up and think I can’t be bothered. I wake up and think it’s Monday, drop kids to school and as soon as get home go for a run. This way I stick to it. I hope you also find exercise helps your migraines.

A 2lb a week loss is excellent.
That's pretty much how I was consistently losing weight it does take time but its well worth it.

Hi Op, I was like you this time last year, 5 stone overweight and unable to stick to a diet plan. In July I had a wake up call, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and non alcoholic fatty liver and high cholesterol. I changed my lifestyle with the Nutracheck app, I log everything I eat. I stick to 1200 calories a day and 130g carbs, and have lost over 4 stone and gone from a size 24 to a 10, My waist has reduced by 7 inches and I am now in remission.

I found eating a lot of protein and green veg helped keep me full. A typical day for me is

Porridge with a square of 85% dark chocolate melted into it, and topped with cherries

Bolognese made with beef and tomatoes etc and have veg instead of pasta

Soup or an omelette with salad for tea

Snacks - cashews, almonds, greek yoghurt

I also gave up smoking at the same time so was hard for the first month, in the first week I lost 9 pounds but now its 1-2 a week and my viscarel fat went from 16 (excessive) to 8 (acceptable). I dont exercise much but dont drive so walk a lot by necessity, little changes like reducing bread, pasta, rice and potatoes but increasing protein and veg make a big difference. Good luck x

Have a Google of Corinne Crabtree. I'm doing her method (haven't spent any money) and it seems achievable. I'm definitely eating loads less. She is a bit annoying mind!

Also someone upthread mentioned the dopamine hit. Every day when I'm on plan I colour in the little square in my book where I've planned my food - so I think that gives me a dopamine hit.

It's so much easier to lose weight when you understand how to manage your glucose levels and thus cravings. I follow principles of Sten Ekberg on YouTube, and also incorporate "hacks" from the book, Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchauspe. I'm 51 and find I have to be very careful with carbs/sugar. I also incorporate intermittent fasting into my daily life, eat two meals a day and don't snack. My cravings have completely disappeared. I hate exercise, but do walk around 10-12k steps a day, and try to eat 30 different types of plants a week as per ZOE - Tim Spectre. I drink lots of water through the day.

A typical day:
7am - glass of water with spoon of apple cider vinegar, cup of coffee with splash of full fat milk
9am - 45 min dog walk
1pm - large salad (inc. olives, parmesan, sardines in extra virgin olive oil etc.); full fat Greek yoghurt with nuts and seeds; decaffeinated coffee with splash of milk
1:30pm - 30 min dog walk
7pm - green salad with protein (fish, chicken, meat) and lots of veg, usually roasted in olive oil
7:30pm 20mins walking on my treadmill or dancing to music.

Inchauspe's hacks which help me are:

Apple cider vinegar before eating
Green salad before meals
Light exercise after eating
If out and carbs can't be avoided, having them after fibre & protein..

If I was overweight I would probably invest in a continuous glucose monitor for two weeks and find out which foods give me glucose spikes/raise my insulin levels. You may find you don't need to go as low carb as I do, or eliminate breakfast.