I’m massive - help.

[Fireworkssparklers]

I need to start this by saying the ONLY thing that works for me are those meal replacement diets - anything else and I won’t be able to stick to it.

I lost loads of weight after having a baby at the beginning of 2021, went back to work last November and just started piling the weight on and now I’m over 14 stone

I am fed up. I’m the fattest one in my friendship group by miles, I’m sure DH has noticed although he doesn’t say bless him and I feel frumpy and horrible. My neck and face just merge into one.

It’s so hard this close to Christmas 🙈😩

Just make one habit change at a time e.g. include protein at every meal or a serving of veggies- it needs to be sustainable

What is your daily diet like currently?

I don’t really eat set meals @Harrysmummy246 - this is why making small changes just doesn’t work.

I want to stick to my diet and I know I can but at the moment I’m just not.

It's great that you are looking to improve your self worth but please remember, you are so much more than "massive".

I am but it does rather dominate my thoughts. Life is very very good apart from my weight, and I also think it’s also stopping me getting pregnant again.

Maybe start working on having a set routine with meals? Do what you can before Christmas.

I know how you feel. I was 14st this time last year and lost some of it, but no where near all of it.

I know you said only one thing works for you... my two cents is that high protein keeps one going. So say of you're having a bolognase just pile on the meat part and don't have much pasta x that way one doesn't snack throughout the day as much.

Have you thought about therapy to get to the bottom of this? Even if you stick to meal replacements for long enough to shift the weight you want to,it sounds like you are going to put it all back on and have a vicious circle going on as you seem to be describing a chaotic diet.

Getting a healthy relationship with food sorted out will be great for you and a good example for your DC.

It would but it’s not going to happen - I am resigned to this now! But I do feel I’ll be able to maintain a healthy weight much better if I have a figure I’m confident with.

You need to deal with underlying issues. Meal replacement shakes are not a lifelong substitute for healthy eating habits. It’s not about sticking to a diet. It’s about eating a healthy diet. Forever.

I definitely want to stick to the meal replacement. Aside from anything else, I am motivated by big losses. There is no way I’d stick to something that saw me lose a pound a week. I know myself and I know I wouldn’t.

Yes, but then you haven't learnt to change anything and it goes back on...........

I do change, though - gaining weight is a long process and this has been steadily built up.

Ultimately different things work for everybody. I’m sure that I’ll always have a bit of a difficult relationship with food but my priority for now is losing weight, not teaching myself lessons

Foodaddicts.org

Why not try doing both? Start the weight loss off quickly but also treat the root cause

www.mumsnet.com/talk/low_carb_bootcamp/4666794-week-3-pre-christmas-22-boot-camp?latest=1

sorry rubbish at links , why not try this woe ,

@Dashel - I’m just looking for a kick up the bum re actually losing it.

I know I can stick to it: I just … don’t

Ive lost just over half a stone in the last 3 weeks. I hit 12 stone, am now 11st 6, but want to be under 10 stone. In my mindset, without my changes I could have kept putting on couple pounds a week so could have been 12st 6.

Knowing what I could be without my changes is motivational to me. So if you are putting on weight but lose 2lb a week it's really more than that. Not sure if I've articulated that but it motivates me. Good luck.

You won’t sort this out unless you address the difficult relationship with food. Even if you manage to get weight off, you’ll just put it back on when you give up the meal replacements.

Wolfiefan - but what you don’t seem very willing to accept is that there isn’t really anything.

Counselling really doesn’t work, I did try that once. (It’s also very expensive.) The times I’ve been best with food are when I’ve been a healthy weight and that’s what I want to get to. So if we could keep the focus on that it would be great.

@Twizz it did make sense. Thank you

Well OP I can completely relate.

why?
why?
why can I not seem to control what goes in mouth?

if you need quick results - keto is without doubt the absolute way

Thanks. I have one to one (used to be the Cambridge) diet stuff and I really want to stick with it, now, I’ve been messing around for ages. Hoping this thread will help make me accountable.

If you're considering Cambridge again, there are a few of us here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4667813-cambridge-diet-aka-11-autumn-2022

Oh, sorry - just saw you are doing it! Misread your post. Come and join us!

I feel I am going to type this all out, only to have you say no no no that's not it, but here goes.

My personal view is your attitude is all wrong. Yes you have lost weight in the past with a VLCD, I've done that too, but it is bloody hard, I still remember every single day of doing VLCD , it is a hard thing to repeat and that's probably why you are not just getting on with it.

I felt absolutely fantastic, I was totally motivated by the losses as they were AMAZING, within a month I was buying new clothes, it was incredible but at some point I did put the weight back on so it didn't work long term did it.

I am 53 and it has taken me this many years to finally realise that these "fad" diets are actually not the only way.

18 months ago I was 3.5 stones heavier and so miserable, I went up and down the same 2 stone year in year out, fad diet after fad diet but always put the weight back on.

I love my food, I like my treats and hate being hungry (lets face it I got to 3.5 stone because I like my food) so I decided to employ a different approach and had 1800 calories a day plus did some exercise, I had cake and treats and felt comfortable with my food intake every day (not starving) and gradually lost 3 stones. Took me about 10 months and then over the last year not only have I managed to maintain that loss (first time in 20 years) but I have gone on to very slowly lose another half a stone.

Maybe just try something different rather than just closing down every bit of advice as "it's not going to work" and that's that!