I used to weigh 10 stone which was ok. That was 30 years ago. Since then I have spent my life yo yo dieting. Every diet. My whole adult life has been get fat lose weight get fat. I was 16 stone at my highest 12 years ago when I went on the Cambridge diet and lost 3 stone. In the last few years the lowest I have been is 11.7 stone. I’m now 14 stone again. Clothes that I bought six months ago are too tight. I am so fed up with dieting. I don’t even like food any more. I just eat rubbish and I honestly don’t know how to stop. It’s like food depression or something. If you offered me anything in the world I truly can’t think of any meal I would like to eat and yet I used to take pleasure in cooking from scratch healthy meals for the family. I made everything and never bought ready meals and now it’s all I buy. ( children all adults now so they are ok!) I think Years of diet rules have broken me. Yesterday other than some grapes I didn’t eat one nutritious thing. I had a tub of ice cream though (and I didn’t really enjoy that I just ate it) half a pack of biscuits and a Milky Way and some oven chips. I feel as if I should eat something vaguely healthy but I don’t want to. I don’t even want real food that’s unhealthy! I want a bag of crisps. I have lost all motivation to lose weight but I am unhappy about my weight. In the supermarket I stupidly put childlike (70s child) food in my basket that for years and years I haven’t eaten. It’s like I am sabotaging myself. There is nobody telling me to lose weight except me. Nobody criticises me except me. I can start in the morning with a good breakfast and a healthy lunch and by the time I get home from work I am buying rubbish to eat, no idea why. I feel guilty for eating unhealthy food but inside I just shrug and think - oh well.
I don’t know what to do. Eating gives me absolutely no pleasure but I can’t stop stuffing my face with junk.
What can be the reason for this behaviour.