I had an eating disorder for about 33 years. Then when I had my first child I kind of let it go as best I could. I needed to be healthy for my baby and bar the odd brief relapse I've stuck to that. After dc3 my body really changed and since lockdown I've put on weight and am overweight. I've lost half a stone or thereabouts in the last 2 weeks. But how the hell is it possible to lose weight without falling back into old habits? The old rules around eating are creeping back. Not eaten dinner by 6pm? Tough, you wait till breakfast now. That kind of thing. I'm also autistic and rules tend to be a thing for me. I guess the issue is balance. I don't believe an eating disorder goes away. Not when it's been there for so long and has lay in the wings waiting. I've been reasonably ok for 16 years but by ok I mean that I eat fairly normally but still feel guilty and uncomfortable about doing so. How do you balance things? My BMI is 25.3 and ideally I could lose a stone because I'm short and clothes don't fit. I'm active and walk miles each day because I need to to get the kids to school and get to work etc. I don't have good or bad foods, it's just food. But still, it's difficult because I've not been normal about food since I was about 7. Can anyone relate and if so how do you manage things?