How to help my 13 year old lose weight healthily

[Bedbouncer]

I have been following the Fast 800 plan since October 2021 (12 weeks Fast 800, followed by 4 days low cals, 3 days higher cals) and have lost 8 stone (~51 kg) to date. I was almost 24 stone at first, so am still not a healthy BMI, but do feel loads better. I live with my husband, who is at the top end of a healthy BMI, and not really worried about his weight, and 13 year old son, who is classified as 'very overweight' according to the NHS BMI calculator, he would need to lose about 15 kg (just over 2 stone) to be classified as healthy. Up til now, I have been mainly been cooking the same main (evening) meal for all of us, but adding carbs for DH and DS. Breakfast and lunch are a bit more of a free for all. Yesterday, DS announced that he wants to "lose a lot of weight, like you". I want to help him, but I don't think 800 calories a day is suitable for an adolescent - he is growing upwards very quickly at the moment - taller than me already and already shaving regularly. I've advised him to cut out snacks and focus on his meals - I think that might be sufficient to be honest - he's a big snacker. How would you approach this?

Dieting in adolescence is a sure way to start an unhealthy relationship with food for the rest of his life…if not an eating disorder. Just carefully increase the amount of veg on his plate, get rid of junk food from the house, and go out on more family physical activities, walks etc.

Thanks, he eats loads of veg already. He's never been fussy that way. It's the between meals snacking that's the issue.

I would start by understanding where his excess calories are coming from.

Portion size?
Junk food
Snacks out the house?
Snacks in the house?

What is he snacking on? Is he eating enough protein?

I’d discuss other options for his snacks. If he feels he needs them replace with olives/fruit etc
if he is hungry maybe bigger portions at meal times may mean he’s less hungry. Im not a huge snacker but if I skip breakfast I’ll graze all day

I think I’d explain to him that he doesn’t need to lose a lot of weight, like you, he needs to avoid putting on weight in the first place. He’s growing so he can still grow into his existing weight - he just needs to maintain not lose so that as he goes up everything evens out.

Talk to him about the fact that it’s easier to not put on weight than lose it because it’s just all the little things that add up to weight gain - so being mindful about snacking between meals is all he needs to do at the moment as long as he’s active and eating a variety of food.

Tell him you’re proud of him and you don’t want him to have to think weight is something that’s a struggle - like it’s been for you - because it doesn’t have to be for him.

Talk to him about making healthier choices and help him to see those through. I know when I'm hungry I should probably have carrot sticks and houmous rather than a packet of crisps but the crisps are quicker. Have quick access healthier snacks and drinks available to him if that's where the problems lie. Getting him involved in cooking, learning to prep and make healthy meals will be a good life lesson too.

Also exercise. If he's not keen maybe you could find an activity (doesn't have to be a sport) you could do together. A lot of gyms do teen memberships from 13yrs, if gym or swimming are new to you, you could frame it that you'd like him to go with you for moral support.

Well done on your weight loss.

The above is really it - not only does he not have a huge amount to loose, he should focus on not gaining weight as he’ll grow into it anyway. He’ll probably loose some before he gains again but he’s in a v different situation to you.

First identity what his problem is - lots of extra junk, too big portions? Too much snacking? then - The usual stuff - 3 meals a day, protein, whole meal carbs, fibre-y veg. Limited snacks, if he needs one after school then humous and carrots or fruit and yogurt. Check portion sizes. Limit junk (play) food to a couple of small portions a week until he hits a healthy weight. No he shouldn’t touch fast 800 with a barge poll.

I would say to him that your biggest challenge is going to be keeping the weight off (it is) so he can help you build a healthy house that will keep you all in shape, regular exercise for both of you.

@NoSquirrels Thank you, that is really very helpful advice.

@Luredbyapomegranate I know maintenance is going to be my challenge. I've lost a lot of weight before and put it back on again. I am determined not to make the same mistakes again, and I know the stats about weight regain. Only time will tell.

Snacks = crisps, sweets, chocolate - the usual. I think we mainly need to to discuss that. We have a 'snack drawer' - that needs to go - and we can find healthier alternatives that he likes. He does like carrots, and if I buy watermelon it's usually eaten immediately, so we have options.