At my heaviest and feeling v down

[yesitsanothenamechangelol]

I'm at my heaviest. I'm feeling very low. I'm trapped in that cycle of depressed-eat-weight gain/feel big-depressed-eat-weight gain/feel big-repeat. I don't know how to get out of it. I want to get out of it but WFH and having snax at home for the DC makes it too easy for me to scoff . I need to lose 2 stone. I have a holiday of a life time planned for next year. I want to be in a bikini and feeling great. I know what I need to do. I know how to do it. I have a goal but my mental state is holding me back. I'm going away in Aug and I'm dreading it coz I will feel huge in a swim suit.

With you. I’ll offer hugs and these wise words.
if being hard on yourself worked - wouldn’t it have worked by now?
try making little changes which make you FEEL better. A walk over lunch, some fruit first instead of snacking on other stuff.
See how you feel after a week. Then two. Then introduce another change. Good luck

@Margaritawithlime totally. Im sluggish and tired. I need to sort this. Im so angry with myself for eating crap again today. I've got (had) a good figure and I'm def sabotaging it.
Starting again tomorrow. Need to get walking and swimming in during the summer. I'm not going to lose it for this year and that hurts but it's my own fault. I just want to shut myself away for 6 months and get back into shape

Hey Op, don't be hard on yourself, it doesn't achieve anything. 2 stone is not that bad , I am about 3 st away from my ideal, healthy weight.
How much spare time do you have to exercise?
Only asking as after disliking my body year after year and hating summers but not doing anything about it I've started going swimming. I go about 5/6 times a week and after a month my clothes look a lot better on me. I don't think that little changes here and there will make you lose significant weight.

@ursuslemonade I have loads of time to exercise. I like running, walking swimming, power hooping. I actually like healthy eating but I also binge eat crap. I've been know to get up at 2am and grab a cake.
I need to calorie count, eat healthy, exercise
Well done on the swimming. I want to lose it all by spring next year. I find it very hard to lose weight. If I start now I could be at goal for my holiday next year. This year us a right-off weight wise for me

My problem is that the only thing I enjoy lately is eating.

Hmm OP I wouldn't write this summer off that easily....Find what type of exercise is best for you and give it a go. I am determined to get back into my old clothes ( size 1-2 down) or at least stop looking like a Michelin Man in my current ones.
Is it possible that you're depressed?

Anti-depressant really helped with my overeating!

It’s a good time of year for it. Salad season is starting. Start adding seasonal fruit and crudités (or whatever) in as extras at first instead of thinking “I’ll have this salad instead of a lasagne”. Give yourself credit for small healthy steps. If you get depressed about it you often feel it has to be all or nothing.

I’ve literally came on here to start a similar thread.

I’m with you @yesitsanothenamechangelol

I feel like I hit the rock bottom

I went to H&M today to get some clothes for the upcoming few hot days, and it got me so depressed.

What’s making me feel worse is that someone close to me lost A LOT of weight recently and she looks amazing. It used to be two of us in a bigger side, and now I’m left, on my own, the biggest person in my social circle.

I keep catching my DH looking at me, I’m sure he noticed too. I was never a skinny Minnie but I was always confident & felt good in my body.
I must’ve gained good 15-20 pounds in the last two years. Maybe more, I wouldn’t dare stepping on a scale right now. So with already being overweight prior to my recent weight gain, I’ve got probably at least 40-50 pounds to loose.

Im addicted to food, it’s one of not many things that brings me comfort and reduces my anxiety.

I’m with you people, the struggle is REAL when you’re literally surrounded by the thing you’re addicted to.

That’s interesting, did you just not crave food as much? May I ask which antidepressants was it?

Swap the snacks for healthy options. For yourself and the dc.
If you don’t have crap in the house you can’t eat it mindlessly. You can reach for that 2am coke if you haven’t got any.
Have you tried nutra check? It’s great for recording what you eat and you can put your goal weight in and they’ll tell you how long it might take to reach that goal. I’ve found it helpful.

@Lovemypeaceandquiet I feel you. I used to be one of the skinnier ones in my circle and in clothes I can now hide it well (dresses) but wait till they see me in swim wear on holiday. My friends are going to be surprised for sure.
It's so hard when food is your biggest comfort. Im the same. Im going to try to resist to binge.i ate 4 chocolate bars today plus lunch and dinner. What is wrong with me. I need to try harder.
I know when you're ready, you will be able to do it too. It must be hard seeing your friend losing the weight. Big hugs. I know you can do it too.xx
@TabithaTittlemouse it was a 2am CAKE !!! Not coke. Even worse 😭

thank you hunny! @yesitsanothenamechangelol
It’s so difficult because it’s a fight with your own brain. I feel like as soon as I cut out all the junk food, I go into a panic mode, like I’m afraid I won’t cope without it. Which is silly, I know.

I need to rewire my brain and learn to eat in moderation.

Hows everyone doing today?

Lovemypeaceandquiet I am on sertraline, 50 mg to start with and now double dose.

The AD really helped to lift my mood, I'm less sad and eat less crap. I carry about 20 kgs extra anyway so the medicine won't help on it's own but it has made a difference already in my general wellbeing.

I've had the opposite experience with ADS so I'd be cautious.

I felt like you OP just 10 days ago. I've since lost half a stone by calorie counting and using saxenda

I'm still massive but I'm half a stone less massive. I'm aiming to be under 15st by August 19th. I'd like to be a 12 st by christmas.

I'm like an alcoholic, I had to hit rock bottom and have a crying fit before I felt angry enough to start doing something.