Dp buying loads of crap food

[FatTum]

I have namechanged so not linked to my family posts!

A few years before I met dp I lost a significant amount of weight (several stones) and kept it off. I was divorced then and living on my own with my dc. My dc left home and I met dp and with time he moved in. Over lockdown I put on around a stone and I've been trying to lose it ever since.

Dp put on far more weight in lockdown as he lost his job (he has another job now) and had v little to do. He took over doing most of the cooking as he had more time.

We discussed losing weight together as he now has a BMI of 30 and it is impacting his health (asthma is worse, painful joints, has had to buy new clothes as he can't fit in any of his old ones). He says he wants to lose weight - cooks healthier meals but then buys chocolate/crisps/biscuits and every night sits on the couch next to me eating them.

The reason I lost weight the first time round is because I didn't buy any shit so it was never in the house. I am having a hard time not leaning over and dipping my hand in the crisps bag or having some sweets while he's eating them and it's totally sabotaging my healthy eating yet I realise it's entirely my fault because I don't have the willpower!

Wwyd in my shoes? It's really pissing me off - I'm pissed off with myself for not being able to resist but also pissed off that Dp keeps bringing this crap into the house and eating it!

That sounds really tough I'm a total crisp fiend and would struggle with that too, and do the same as you and simply don't buy them. If they're in the house, I'll eat them, but if they're not I don't want them enough to bother going to the shop to get some iyswim.

You can't control what he eats, and he clearly isn't committed to losing weight.

The only thing that worked for me (and this is probably shite advice that won't work for everyone, so sorry) was remembering how good i feel at x weight, and every crisp I put in my mouth was sabotaging that. I also realised I can't just have one or two. Once I got the taste, I wanted more and more. Luckily I don't have a sweet tooth, chocolate can stay in the house for months untouched, but any savoury snack is absolutely my downfall. The floodgates open so to speak! If you can associate the snacks and junk with all of his health problems in your head, and how it keeps you from your goal weight, I do find it helps, but it's really hard

God I hope that doesn't sound like a sanctimonious "use your willpower" speech, I really didn't mean it like that!

@TibetanTerrah it didn't come across as sanctimonious at all! I am exactly the same and can easily eat packets of crisps if they are in front of me!

I know what you mean about keeping the target in your head. I will try that!

Hi OP

I would let yourself have them - just limit the amount you do. So enjoy them with your DP but just don't have as much as him.

I really believe that completely cutting out foods you enjoy only makes for misery and makes losing weight so much tougher.

Have some I roasted , unsalted nut on hand to nibble a couple of.

He isn’t being supportive by doing that. He needs to eat it elsewhere, or you need to go off and do something else.

What kind of plan are you following? Could you adjust your other food to allow calorie room for some snacks? Or do you want him to not buy them at all?

If you want him to not buy them, that's unreasonable. It's your decision what you put in your mouth, at the end of the day. You either want to lose weight or you don't.

I've had to learn that the hard way, and now it doesn't bother me if my DH eats stuff I, not can't have, but don't want. You have to change your own mindset.

Good luck op.

I think he needs to not eat them infront of you or you should get up and do something else if he sits next to you with sweets etc. as he is being disrespectful of your very reasonable requests.

When he gets the crap out, could you find something else to do? Go out for a walk, take a bath, paint your nails? It'll (probably) only be for 10 minutes until he's finisher what he's munching on?

finished

What did Kate Moss say once… Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

It’s hard though and my dh has a similar habit, however he only buy for treats for the family and never eats them himself! He’s a feeder and it pisses me off!

What time period does he eat it? If it's evening, maybe trott of to bedroom. Avoiding temptation and having extra sleep will do wonders.

I would read DP the riot act. The thing is, you already know what works for you. And he is undermining it. Never mind losing weight together, if he is not onboard you need to protect yourself and he needs to protect you from his own disordered eating.

If you are in the room together then he cannot bring crisps biscuits etc into the room. He can go and eat them in the kitchen. He should not be bringing shit food into the house at all since that undermines your health and since (he claims) he wants to lose weight as well, but if he insists then would it help you to have a separate tin which is "his" where he keeps his own supply of shit food that you don't touch?

Your health matters and his antisocial behaviour is compromising your health. I wouldn't stand for that.

He should not be eating that stuff. I was admitted to hospital yesterday with blood pressure spike of 215/105. I was scared shitless that I was going to have a stroke.
Got home and threw all snacks crisps pot noodles and rubbish in the bin.
Only healthy home cooked food from now on. Dont be in any doubt this kind of diet will kick him up the arse sooner or later.

I agree with this. I would have very strong words and I would go further and ask him when he was going to start looking after himself. If the weight is negatively affecting him then he needs to sort himself out so it doesn’t get worse