Hi TinyCookieMonster - really sorry to hear about the ongoing struggles! I thought I might provide some observations and a couple of suggestions, if helpful.
First thing first is probably to acknowledge that there millions of women in the UK, like yourself, going through similar challenges - just to say that you’re not alone, and you certainly aren’t beyond help!
It’s really easy to get into a spiral of self-blame and self-sabotage, when it’s very likely that it’s not your fault at all i.e. it might be that you’ve be given the wrong health/nutrition information, or have an environment where you’re inadvertently setting yourself up for failure. Half of the challenge is not blaming yourself and putting yourself in a mindset of positivity and “I can do this”.
In terms of the weight loss and lifestyle change, often people try to change everything at once (with an “all or nothing mindset”), but having long-term success typically involves making 1 or 2 small changes at a time, and really making those changes the default.
For your situation, 1 or 2 things that could be helpful to start with:
(1) Getting your first meal of the day right
There’s a quote I quite like which is “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed” -> the analogy is: getting the very first thing of the day right, from the start, sets you up to conquer the rest of the day.
When it comes to healthy living, if you can get your first meal of the day right, and consistently get it right no matter what happened the previous day, then you really set yourself up for success.
Your first meal is very likely going to be breakfast, unless you have success with intermittent fasting and have your first meal at lunch. So my advice would be:
- Have a high protein meal that you really enjoy (and that you know is healthy)
- Eat until you’re fully satisfied + full; which will keep you fuller for longer until your next meal and reduce cravings & snacking
The key is then to find the meals that you really enjoy, and are happy to make every day. This might mean getting up 30 minutes earlier in the morning every day to give yourself enough time. Some examples:
A) For about 5 years, I used to make oat + blueberry pancakes every morning (recipe here)
B) If you like yoghurt, then you could have some full-fat greek yoghurt (no added sugar) + some berries e.g. blueberries/strawberries/blackberries
C) Have 3-5 eggs of your choice (e.g. scrambled) with some tomatoes + avocado (+ optional bacon if you like/eat bacon)
If you did nothing else and just focused on this habit until you had it consistently sorted, I have a feeling that you’d be in a really great place to make your next habit change.
(2) Changing your food shopping habits
I’m just mentioning this because you made a note that you "can’t keep your head out of the cupboards". This might sound like obvious advice that you’ve heard before, but I do believe it’s really valid: often if you don’t have ‘unhealthy’ food in the house in the first place, then it makes it much more difficult to eat those foods (often when you’re hungry at home).
So a big part of healthy living is not saying: “I’m not going to eat those foods ever again”, as that is clearly unrealistic. But you might say “I’m not going to keep those foods in the house, and instead have them on occasion when out & about”.
So another small habit change that could be worth considering is stopping having foods that you consider unhealthy in the cupboards (and actively throwing out the ones you already have stored).
If you find supermarket shopping difficult, then another mini life-hack is to have a satisfying meal before you go shopping. Going food shopping on an empty stomach can sometimes be far more difficult to resist unhealthy foods, vs when you’re shopping when full.
Hope that helps provide some sparks for things to consider - and once again, you certainly aren’t beyond help!
Mike