Manage disordered eating by not weighing myself?

[PorkySisyphus]

Long story but I have a history of cycling between binging and restricting but over a long period so for eg I will have a period of up to a year of eating total shit, not exercising and avoiding getting on the scales.

When I get to the stage where my biggest clothes start to pinch or I see a truly horrific photo of myself, I will flip a switch, get on the scales, be (rightly) horrified and start crash dieting. <1000 calories a day, minimal carbs, weighing self multiple times daily, taking laxatives, avoiding social engagements where there will be food. Until I get to my goal weight. Will maintain for a period of time then a holiday or Christmas will knock me out of the "good" routine and I will slowly start to go back to the bad habits and the cycle continues.

Fucked I know. I know why I'm like this (childhood trauma) but don't have the income to afford the amount of therapy it would take to deal with it. I can't do moderation at all.

I'm currently two weeks into weight loss and haven't yet weighed myself. Mostly because I just didn't want to be faced with the reality of what I weighed at the start. I know I'm losing and I feel great. Clothes are fitting better, energy levels are up. Without obsessing on the numbers I'm more focused on how I feel and I feel less consumed than I usually do about the speed of my weight loss.

Could sticking to not weighing (for now at least, might do when I know I've lost a good chunk) help make me a more rational dieter?

It sounds to me like just not weighing yourself for a while won’t get to the root problem of why you go through these cycles. Of course, it might be better to focus on how you feel, and how your clothes fit, but unfortunately you still know that that’s also resulting in a number loss on the scales, whether you’re looking at it or not, IYKWIM.

So once you achieve your weight loss goal, however you measure that, what’s the plan for stopping another cycle upwards again? You’ve said a holiday or Christmas will inevitably lead to weight gain, and then old habits come back. That’s probably what you need to think about tackling.

I’ve lost 1.5 stone, with a holiday to Mexico as my motivation. I assumed after 2 weeks all-inclusive that I’d have put on anywhere from 3/4 lbs to half a stone (based on previous holidays) but actually I came back exactly the same weight as when I left. I had planned to not go too mad, because I didn’t want to undo all my hard work, and I intend to carry on with my good eating habits now. I don’t want to go back to the junk food, and feeling bloated, sluggish, waking up aching, and generally being unhealthy and unfit. So here I am a few weeks later, trying to maintain my weight, still going to the gym every day, still walking, still Intermittent Fasting. I realise it isn’t always as easy as that, and I’m sorry for the trauma you’ve been through, but my only advice would be to try and focus on being the healthiest version of yourself going forward.

Try listening to podcasts by Jordan Syatt. He deals with binge eating quite often during interviews, and has recovered from it himself