The truth hurts (and is depressing!)

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I’ve got 10kg to lose. Tried SW but just couldn’t stay motivated and have no willpower to stick to it. Something needs to change so contacted local gym who offer 6 week small group PT 3x a week and nutritional advice/weigh in/food diary. Sounded good and fairly priced for what they offer (£140). Asked what I could eat and whether I could keep my chocolate fix. Response was tactful but basically if you want to see big changes you’re going to need to make big changes. It’s depressing because I know it’s the truth. I want to lose weight but I don’t want to have to accept that to do that I'm going to need to change the unhealthy eating habits I’ve got into! Im a bit worried that I’ll not have the willpower to make the changes if even just hearing this has left me upset and depressed! Anyone felt similarly?

I don’t want to have to accept that to do that I'm going to need to change the unhealthy eating habits I’ve got into!

But if you don’t change then you may as well just throw your £140 out of the car window as you drive along. If you aren’t in the right mindset to make these changes then it would be best to save your money until you are. You know what they say…you can’t out run a bad diet!

You don’t have to give up all chocolate for the whole rest of your life but, once you start seeing results and the weight drops off and your body no longer craves processed sugar, you will actually want it less and less. Then, once you are the weight you want to be and your new healthy eating habits are second nature, you will be able to occasionally have a treat and enjoy it far more than you did when you were stuffing 3 wagon wheels in a row into your mouth, hardly tasting a thing.

I was like you in the past, couldn’t stick to anything, sugar cravings controlled me (& the wine) then one day I just thought “I’ve had enough”. I wasn’t happy, wanted to lose the weight and didn’t want to just keep getting bigger and bigger. I’ve maintained my 3 stone weight loss for a couple of years now and am happier and fitter heading towards 50 than I was in my 30’s & 40’s. You can do it but you really have to change your thinking. It’s not about giving up chocolate, it’s about gaining freedom from cravings, from your self critical thoughts about being too big, from being unhappy, unfit etc etc. Good luck!

Chocolate is not your friend. Sleep is though!

Agree with all of the above. I have lost a significant amount of weight but I had to accept a long term permanent change to do it.
Your palate and habits can and do alter when you are resolved. I have eaten a delicious, fulfilling healthy diet and maintained a weight of 9 and a half stone for years now. I don’t eat much by way of crap but now I find I don’t want to, it’s pretty easy.

Have you tried intermittent fasting. I've lost 12kg since January and the only exercise I do is the odd walk. And I still have chocolate.

To add, I do eat chocolate but not daily or even weekly. My personal favourite is the Lindt Dark with sea salt, and I buy a bar to enjoy now and then. It’s worth it.
I have long rid myself of the habit of sweeties for the sake of it.

Sorry, accidental quote there.

Also I would never ‘fast’ or follow any restricted diet. I’m active, I love food, I have got to eat.

I don’t think you’re in the right mindset yet if you’re asking a PT if you can still eat chocolate. You need to decide which you’d prefer - to keep eating the way you are, or to lose weight? Because you realistically can’t do both. You don’t have to ‘give up’ anything, it’s about moderation. I’ve lost 1.5 stone and still eat chocolate, but it’s part of my calorie controlled diet, and I exercise 5 days a week. You have to accept that it’s not healthy to eat chocolate, or biscuits, or crisps or any other junk, every day. And it’s a choice. You know what you need to do, so you either do it and see a change, or don’t, and accept your weight as it is.

As a pp said, once you lose some weight, that will motivate you to eat properly. At my new weight, I don’t sit around thinking ‘I wish I could stuff my face like I used to, I wish I could sit here and eat 4 bags of crisps and then a packet of biscuits’ because I feel better now, I look better now, I know my body is healthier. I’d rather be like this.

I use weight watchers, the old plan used to be crap but the new one is a lot better. If you have an Apple Watch or fitbit you can earn more points from exercise and steps if you link it to your profile. You also earn an extra food point every time you eat a portion of non starchy veg. I've been on it 3 weeks and already lost nearly 3 kg. Ive lost 7kg in total this year just by walking more and trying to eat healthier. 10kg is totally doable.

Thanks for all your replies. I think contacting a PT, feeling motivated enough to go along to group classes (which I’ve never felt comfortable about doing before) makes me think that I’m ready to accept that something needs to change and I need to do things differently to what I’ve done before. I know when I’m focused on something I can be really determined so I’m planning on giving this my all for the next 6 weeks. And hopefully longer if I can come out the other side of 6 weeks happier, healthier and having got out of my bad eating and exercise habits.

I would tell yourself you can have certain foods like the chocolate or crisps and just have less times a week or smaller portions. So many diets fail (including mine) when we try and become someone else over night.
I think if you get fitter and generally try and eat healthier with less snacks you will make a great start. Then you can slowly work in more diet choices as you go.

I’ve done this. After 40 years of battling, I’ve discovered carbs spike my blood sugar.

Ive been eating protein for the last 2 weeks, no carbs, no sugar. All the evil cravings have gone after 40 years of battling.

l went out for a meal the other night. I ate 1/4 of a burger bun and 1/4 of mini Bakewell tart.

As soon as l came home l wanted to pick and binge. It’s honestly been life changing.

Sign up to Noom instead it's a lot cheaper and basically the same sort of thing. I've lost 10 Llbs on it so far

You do have to make changes but you don't have to be perfect all the time.
If you stick to the rules of the PT group at the gym 85% of the time you'll still see changes.
I'm not suggesting you give yourself a day off a week or anything like that. What I mean is: commit 100% but if you slip up once or twice don't beat yourself up as long as you're within 85% rule.

Hope that makes sense. It's something that helps me stick to a plan.

Try Noom. It will help you to break bad habits and form new one. It's also cheaper than the PT sessions.

I've lost 11lbs (5kg) so far in about 2 months. I've got another 5kg to go.

You can't outrun a bad diet I'm afraid OP - all the exercise in the world won't make you thin if you eat too much. Look at people who are still "big" who run marathons/lift weights etc. You have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

I run 5 miles 3-4 times a week but do it to tone up and feel strong - I actually lose the same amount of weight every week (1-2 lbs) whether I exercise or not. Sad but true.

I have a lot to lose and just lost 2 stone 5 lbs since Jan. But need to lose at least another 4 stone or 5 to be an ideal weight.

I have lost weight in the past a s piled it all back on. This time I have set myself more realistic goals, and am aiming to possible have tummy tuck in a few years to get rid of my excess skin.

What I feel is different this time, is I am not being 100% following plan (SlimmingWorld) all the time. But working with increasing my excercise classes and trying to be 'good' as much as I can. When I have had an event or been off plan, I go straight back on it the next day. Also if I know I'm going out abs will be eating crap, I try and do an extra excercise class. I recognise now I need to own this long term and this means not being too restricted about what I eat or it just isn't sustainable

I agree with this overall. I run too and like this poster, it’s to stay fit, well, energetic and (comparatively) toned. The impact on weight loss is far less than you’d imagine. My weight largely depends on what I eat. Not necessarily how much but what. I have a big appetite, love food and like to eat a decent meal. Luckily for me, when I say I love food, I mean ALL the food. This means I like healthy stuff as well. I have learned to cook healthy as well as delicious and know how to maintain my weight, while not going hungry.
I let loose in December there for Christmas. And the lead up to. And new year. I didn’t go crazy on it and I still ran plenty. By the time I went back to work in January I had gained nigh on a stone. Too much chocolate, wine and rich food. 🤷‍♀️

I think fad diets suck. Keto, paleo, Slimming World, Weightwatchers, Slimfast, intermittent fasting, low carb…any of them, they’re unsustainable and ultimately damaging to the self esteem. Pretty much all diet food is crap as well.
I recommend the common sense diet. That’s the one where you eat what you know you’re supposed to and cut out the shit you know you shouldn’t. There is no other feasible way to do it.

If I sound lofty it’s because I lost weight. 10 stone or thereabouts. I went from a size 24 to an 8. I have maintained a weight of between 9 and 9 and a half stone for years now. I didn’t follow any regime, club or specific diet. I practically applied what I already knew; the same stuff you know.

Exercise helps to burn more calories yes, but while intake is still surplus it won’t make much impact on your weight at all.

You will never loose weight until you have your head in the game. Having the right mindset is most of the battle. I been there.
Your mindset seems to be one of loosing something (foods) rather than what weight loss will give you.
Have a good think about why you want to loose weight, what your motivations are. Maybe just change one small thing that feels manageable. One small positive change will often lead to bigger changes. Good luck

I am on the body coach program and that comes with a lot of recipes for real food but a few that use protein powder. Yes it’s a bit of a cheat but I like to workout in the mornings and I do one of his over night oats/ protein shake type things using chocolate protein powder and they are good and super convenient too. The food is really good but it’s not a very low cal diet and you won’t see weight fall off you like the posters who do Exante and The New You meal replacements get. But I do 4 HIIT classes a week plus try and get in lots of steps and with the food, I feel much better for it.

Good luck with however you do it, but find something that will work long term and give you the support you need. I think it’s important to acknowledge that there is so many high calorie junk foods out there that we shouldn’t be eating and aren’t going to be able to eat regularly if we want to weigh a reasonable amount.