Acceptance of a “new normal” for eating 😩

[Sunshiner100]

I’ve now reached a BMI of 23.5 (down from 29 during lock down, and 26 a few months ago) and stuck at the same weight for a few weeks now. I’m exercising regularly, eating healthily, allowing treats and generally feeling great, looking much better and full of energy. What’s not to love?

But, I’m struggling mentally with the concept that if I ever slip back to my old habits, the weight will pile on. I used to demolish a loaf of home made sourdough with butter and jam in a day, eat a whole packet of biscuits while working late, have these melting chocolate puddings in front of the tv with wine when I’d had a hard week and eating all the courses in a hotel breakfast buffet (I mean everything - a la carte eggs Benedict, cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurt, pastries, meats, cheeses - the works!). I’ll still do that all occasionally, but in the past I never really thought about the calories and would easily have 3-4000 calories a day whenever I felt like it. Hence nearly becoming obese!

Now, I’m calorie counting, I am almost grieving that feeling of being able to gorge on food/carbs/sugar whenever I want to. It’s a huge mental shift. I know I can eat healthier stuff in large quantities and I know how to do it, but I’ve only just realised that I’m now stuck making better choices for the rest of my life to stay at this weight (or ideally a stone lighter eventually). This is my new normal and I miss bits of the old ways! Have others found this?

Yes totally but I also think I've grown used to it over time.

As you say, if you're disciplined, you can splurge without it being a big problem.

But I've found that the things I used to love just don't satisfy me the way when I do go for it - I think my taste buds have changed a bit.

I understand where you are coming from @Sunshiner100. I have another stone or so to go before I reach a healthy bmi but I have been thinking about this mental adjustment too and I have started working on it. A couple of things that have helped me…

Having a mantra to repeat to myself when I’m struggling mentally with the idea of not being free to eat as I please ever again. In my case, it is ‘I deserve to be healthy’. Very cringy but it works for me!

Understanding different types of hunger. I.e. that craving chocolate or cheese or whatever is not actual stomach hunger, but rather is ‘mouth hunger’. The solution to ‘mouth hunger’ is to eat whatever you are craving as soon as possible, but in a small quantity and in a mindful way. Really enjoy it!

If you don’t satisfy the craving, you will eat a lot more of other ‘healthier’ stuff trying to satisfy your hunger and will probably end up giving in and eating chocolate or toast or whatever anyway. If you are still genuinely hungry after satisfying the craving, then have something with a lower calorie density to fill up. As a lifelong binger and former ED sufferer (a long time ago), these ideas were revolutionary to me.

I got these ideas off noom, incidentally.

PS - well done on the weight loss! That is a great achievement!

I think you just need to look at it that you can still eat all those things you mentioned, just not every day, and not in those quantities. But I wouldn’t miss that. A whole loaf of bread, a whole pack of biscuits? To be honest, I feel a little smug having lost some weight. So I accept that I have a new normal because I don’t want to pile it on again. So, have a few biscuits now and again, have a few slices of bread with jam if that’s what you enjoy. Have a pudding once a week. But as you said, you look and feel great, and have lots of energy. If you ate a whole loaf of bread, I imagine you’d feel very sluggish, bloated and regretful.

Enjoy the fact you know what you need to do. Because lots of people try stuff like meal replacement shakes for a few weeks, lose a bit of weight, then go back to their normal eating habits and wonder why they put the weight on, claiming ‘diets don't work’. I know someone like this, losing and gaining the same half a stone but wondering why she can’t shift the other 3 excess excess stones. It really is a choice, and surely you feeling better (while enjoying those things you listed occasionally) is loads better than gorging for an hour and feeling rubbish afterwards?